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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for sending my dad an email to complain about my sisters bullying and asking to go where dad lives and study in sn international school?

65 replies

cattyfacts · 12/09/2023 08:11

I have always been bullied by my younger sister by 3 years.
Since we go to the same school, we have to go home together. I dread going home with her because she always insults me and grabs my phone. She makes me carry her violin for her and watch the bus , which is the opposite direction of my screen so that i dunno what she is doing with my phone. She also shoves me whenever she gets the chance to. When we meet mum at home, she suddenly turns nice again.

She loves barging into my room and mess with my belongings AND scan the tabs,on my laptop. On the other hand, I am not allowed to look at some of her things, and should i accidentally touch her stuff, i get bullied horribly.

She makes me feel inferior and disgusting all the time. I hate spending time with her.

This has been going on for a year until last Friday, when I had had it and sent my dad an email about how she was bullying me. In the email I asked to move back to HK(where my dad works, i emigrated to Aus) and study in an international school. (my grades will suffer if go back to local school since wont be able to pick up the chinese) Dad replied with a joke and said it isnt feasible. I will post a screenshot of the emails later when i get home to my laptop.

She has always been mean to me, which has escalated in the past two years.

My mum is mad at me for sending the email since she thinks I am overreacting. She says she has already done what she could, sending her rrminders (an email saying dont bully), which doesnt work at all. AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
cattyfacts · 13/09/2023 13:03

@LaRevolution 15

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 13/09/2023 13:10

bridgetreilly · 12/09/2023 09:42

Don’t let your sister do this. Arrange to meet friends or do an afterschool activity so you travel home separately. Don’t carry her violin. Don’t let her get your phone - have it at the bottom of your bag and hold it so she can’t get in it. Put a password on your computer that she doesn’t know. Block entry to your room. She’s not a gang of bullies, she is one younger sister. Stand up to her.

This - she’s a sister not a brother who could over power you, and your younger sister at that.

I know it’s hard when your parent gives the impression that it’s ok.

I would also speak to a teacher at school and set it out very openly, including your mother’s lack of any reaction

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 13/09/2023 13:14

cattyfacts · 12/09/2023 13:09

I have to use my phone while waiting for the bus though, since I am the only one with a SIM card and have to track the bus and update with my mum.

The bus we take home usually have few people so it would be weird if I sit next to a total stranger.

Both of us are not even allowed to close our bedroom door. Mum just thinks we would not be doing work if we close our doors.

Show quote history

Your Mum does sound like a big part of the problem.

Can you tell her that you’re not getting your phone out and you’ll be home within the usual window of time.

It does sound like she’s ridiculously strict on something and then doing nothing about the real issue - bullying. If she can’t do anything about something as serious as this, would she really do much if you kept your phone in your bag, studied at school at the end of the day or closed your bedroom door?

cooldarkroom · 13/09/2023 13:16

Dad
Some simple discipline from either you or mother would not only make my life livable, but also possibly save Sister from becoming a fully blown narcissistic monster.
You created this child, you have a responsibility to both if us. You ate enabling her.
I will be closing my bedroom door, & refusing her entry from now on

boscabosco · 13/09/2023 13:44

cattyfacts · 12/09/2023 13:02

Oh did she?
This thread is real tho--- am sharing screenshots

Show quote history

for god's sake, if this was real, a normal response would be oh my god really, my mom was on here, what did she write, where is the thread???????

LaRevolution · 13/09/2023 14:34

Am inclined to agree, @boscabosco

MermaidEyes · 13/09/2023 14:35

@boscabosco indeed.

MermaidEyes · 13/09/2023 14:36

Tbh no 15 year old I know would be asking advice on a forum for adults, they'd be on younger forums asking other teens their age. Maybe in Aus its different....

grenadeapple · 13/09/2023 15:00

boscabosco · 13/09/2023 13:44

for god's sake, if this was real, a normal response would be oh my god really, my mom was on here, what did she write, where is the thread???????

Show quote history

It’s actually creepy as f* with an adult pretending to be a child who needs help.
Not cool.

MyHornCanPierceTheSky · 13/09/2023 18:31

cattyfacts · 13/09/2023 10:13

Here is one of dad's reply:
Cant paste screenshots here
Charlotte my lovely daughter, I know how you feel. Here’s what I think -

For her, she will sooner or later learn big lessons & pay her price (she will get into trouble, for sure, if she continues to misbehave). You can feel pity for her, but you should not focus on thinking of everything about her (like how she change her face, when her lesson will come, etc). Otherwise you will become a loser. To turn it back, you should in fact focus on your own being, which is:

You know what, you might meet similar troublesome people or encounter similar situations by occasions during your long life journey, some might even be worse than her. From what I experienced, we should learn to think of a problem/situation not from the perspective of being fair or unfair, but from the perspective of how I can tackle it positively & bravely, and how I can take sth away from an unfavourable experience so that I can become stronger & stronger while keeping a beautiful mind. Then you will be the REAL WINNER, which you will feel from your inside & become more confident in yourself.

Trust me. Not sure if my above guidance is too difficult for you, if so please read a few times until you get sth from it. I want you to build/maintain a strong & beautiful mind, don’t let others to damage it.

Do your OWN best is the key to becoming strong & keeping you happy.

Love u, DAD.

Show quote history

You can post screenshots.
Take the screenshot and attach it with the paperclip 'Charlotte'.

Original poster
cattyfacts · 14/09/2023 12:22

MermaidEyes · 13/09/2023 14:36

Tbh no 15 year old I know would be asking advice on a forum for adults, they'd be on younger forums asking other teens their age. Maybe in Aus its different....

Younger forums tend to have only impulsive ideas like moving out, which isnt practical nor helpful

OP posts:
Original poster
cattyfacts · 14/09/2023 12:24

boscabosco · 13/09/2023 13:44

for god's sake, if this was real, a normal response would be oh my god really, my mom was on here, what did she write, where is the thread???????

Show quote history

It might not be my mum---- she isn't that fond of online forums

But yeah I saw a similar thread

OP posts:
ImustLearn2Cook · 14/09/2023 12:40

@cattyfacts if you are in Australia you can call or email or web chat with an organisation called kids help line. You could get advice from them. I will post you a link and you can look them up and decide if you want to talk to them.

https://kidshelpline.com.au/teens

Teens

Check out information and advice on common issues affecting teenagers. If you need someone to talk to, call our 24 hr, 7 days a week support line 1800 55 1800.

https://kidshelpline.com.au/teens

Furryrug · 17/09/2023 04:59

Your mum is definitely posting here, using your account.

Original poster
cattyfacts · 17/09/2023 08:48

Furryrug · 17/09/2023 04:59

Your mum is definitely posting here, using your account.

What did she say? When I found it it has been hidden

OP posts:
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