AIBU for sending my dad an email to complain about my sisters bullying and asking to go where dad lives and study in sn international school?

[cattyfacts]

I have always been bullied by my younger sister by 3 years.
Since we go to the same school, we have to go home together. I dread going home with her because she always insults me and grabs my phone. She makes me carry her violin for her and watch the bus , which is the opposite direction of my screen so that i dunno what she is doing with my phone. She also shoves me whenever she gets the chance to. When we meet mum at home, she suddenly turns nice again.

She loves barging into my room and mess with my belongings AND scan the tabs,on my laptop. On the other hand, I am not allowed to look at some of her things, and should i accidentally touch her stuff, i get bullied horribly.

She makes me feel inferior and disgusting all the time. I hate spending time with her.

This has been going on for a year until last Friday, when I had had it and sent my dad an email about how she was bullying me. In the email I asked to move back to HK(where my dad works, i emigrated to Aus) and study in an international school. (my grades will suffer if go back to local school since wont be able to pick up the chinese) Dad replied with a joke and said it isnt feasible. I will post a screenshot of the emails later when i get home to my laptop.

She has always been mean to me, which has escalated in the past two years.

My mum is mad at me for sending the email since she thinks I am overreacting. She says she has already done what she could, sending her rrminders (an email saying dont bully), which doesnt work at all. AIBU?

That sounds really stressful.

Is there a teacher or counsellor at school you could talk to about this?

Your mother isn't dealing with this.

What would you like to happen? Can you tell your mother in detail?

Yes id see if dad can make it feasible. Lifes too short to deal with drama let alone in your own home. Why does mum send an email and not talk face to face?

How old are you Op? Having grown up with a sister like that, who my mother see as a golden child, I was helpless and hopeless. I only managed to stop or manage the nasty behaviour as an adult but the level of trauma and the number of relationships I lost still hurts.

If there is a member of staff taking care of the welfare of your group, please talk to them. Explain the situation is not a one off but has been ongoing for years. I suggest you find a way to keep her away from your room also, does it has a lock?

Do the school has a counsellor you can talk to? They may fight your corner if they see the effect the constant bullying is having on you.

In the meantime, the Gray Rock Method can help.

YANBU.
Your mother isn't taking this seriously enough. Please speak to a teacher at school.
Are there any options available to travel home differently?

Didn't your mum post about this recently and got her arse handed to her for being a terrible parent?

Or was it all made up and it was such a popular thread you are back for more?

Sorry if crossed wires.

Your parents obviously aren't going to help, so I agree that the best person to deal with this would be a safe person at school. You just need to tell them you can't cope with your sister's behaviour towards you, and it's a difficult situation because as the older one you feel you can't retaliate or stick up for yourself, as there is an implied duty to look after her. Get biometrics security set up on your phone so she can't get into it.

YANBU I only had to deal with my younger sister at home not outside too which would probably have tipped me over the edge. I was seen as the mad one because I reacted and no one saw her intentionally winding me up. She knew she could get away with it. It's very upsetting to have your parents do nothing and worse believe the wrong child. Sometimes they don't have the capacity to deal with it sometimes they feel you are the one being hard work or inconvenient as you are bothering them which is wrong.

As pp have advised I would talk to whatever student support you have available at school to help you now.

Can you sign up to after school activities/ study groups/ just stay in the library so you don't have to go home with your sister?

Don’t let your sister do this. Arrange to meet friends or do an afterschool activity so you travel home separately. Don’t carry her violin. Don’t let her get your phone - have it at the bottom of your bag and hold it so she can’t get in it. Put a password on your computer that she doesn’t know. Block entry to your room. She’s not a gang of bullies, she is one younger sister. Stand up to her.

This. You have to learn to stick up for yourself.

If this is real - and I have some doubts - then you need to stand up for yourself. Bullies will only bully when there's someone to bully. Don't let that person be you.

In my experience the only way to deal with bullying is to square up to it.

I would start a self defense course and put that fucking bitch on the ground. You won’t have to do it very often to make her think twice about coming near you.
Can you start making some phone calls to other schools so that you can change to be away from her. Maybe even make enquires at schools in HK.
and I definitely wouldn’t be keeping secret about it.

Your parents won’t save you from her. You’ll have to do it yourself.

This.

I'm afraid the only way to handle bullies is to stand up to them. Hide your phone deep in your school bag so she can't see it. Refuse to carry her violin. Just put it on the ground if she hands it to you and say very calmly; it's your responsibility not mine. Never ever carry it onto the bus. Leave it on the ground and get onto the bus. If she has a tantrum, listen to it as if she were a wild creature screeching. Nothing to do with you. Try to sit next to someone else on the bus so there is no space for her to sit beside you.

Use your age as a deterrent. You must be taller and stronger than her to some extent. If you're not, start doing physical strength exercises so you can resist her.

Can you get a lock for your bedroom door?

if your mother isn't handling this effectively, can you speak to anyone at school and explain that it is affecting your grades?

Whatever you do, if you stand up really firmly to bullies and decide that their opinion of you is utterly meaningless and their behaviour will never be tolerated by you again, then they usually back down.

Yes! I remember reading the original posts and the mum would not take on any of the suggestions from other posters

Yup.

This! The details are exactly the same - Australia, Hong Kong, violin, etc.

YANBU.

Your parents are failing you and enabling a monster in your sister. I agree with other posters to speak to a person of authority in school. They'll take you seriously and find the appropriate solution for this. You shouldn't be miserable in your own home with parents who don't pay equal attention to their children.

Get on the bus alone. ignore her, do not give her your phone, change the Login & turn it off if necessary. She cannot physically make your hand take her violin. Refuse. If she loses her violin, so be it.
Tell your Mother you have spoken to the school, she will be getting a call from them. If she gets mad, tell her then control her little bitch Sister daughter.
Put a chair up against your bedroom door orwedge under the door, if there is no lock on the door. (Tell your Mother you want privacy.
Closeyour computer when Sister is near.
If she has hysterics, that's fine. your Mother can deal with it.

Is this one of those threads where posters think it's funny to pretend they're living in a film or tv script?

It’s such a shame MN has become so full of these fake threads lately.

Yeah… sure that won’t work. The sister is a bitch because the mum is enabling her, mum will stand with her and against this girl.

Now OP, if you are the mum posting again… listen this time, you (yes, YOU) are ruining the sisterly relationship your daughters could have had making hate each other by siding with one. You are enabling the bully to grow up to be a bitch, sorry, a narcissist, and condemning the other one to years of therapy until she cuts all the family out when she realises that what is happening in her family is not “normal” but toxic and abusive.

Oh I sent the email. Dad doesn't live in the same country as us.

Mum says if I speak to the school about it, she would be on my sister's side.

Both of us are not allowed to close our bedroom doors

Her hysterics are often directed at me, regardless of the cause of them

Oh did she?
This thread is real tho--- am sharing screenshots