Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what your opinion is on the Luis Rubiales and Jenna Hermoso kiss is?

102 replies

Username1221 · 11/09/2023 21:49

Do you think he should have resigned? Do you think the legal complaint being brought against him is justified?

Im still forming my opinion on the whole incident so I’m interested to hear what others think.

Primarily I don’t think he should have kissed her, certainly not in the way he did. And I don’t for a second believe his claims that he asked for consent by saying a little peck. And I believe he should have just publicly apologised for acting inappropriately and ruining a proud moment for women’s football in Spain.

However, I personally don’t think what happened merits a legal complaint being filed, nor the possibility of criminal charges. (Albeit I recognise his behaviour could technically fit the legal definition of an assault). I also think that if he’d just apologised that would have been sufficient without the need to resign or be suspended. But there may be facts or angles I haven’t considered so interested to hear more…

OP posts:
BinkyBeaufort · 11/09/2023 22:22

I don't know anything about Jenny, but it occurred to me that, like so many of the England player, she may be gay.
In which case she would never choose to kiss any man, as it would be totally repulsive to her.
In which case, what he did to her would be like Luis wotnot being forcibly snogged by a raging queen determined to impose his sexuality on him.
And I'd love to see what the signor's response would be to that.

fairyfluf · 11/09/2023 22:24

BinkyBeaufort · 11/09/2023 22:22

I don't know anything about Jenny, but it occurred to me that, like so many of the England player, she may be gay.
In which case she would never choose to kiss any man, as it would be totally repulsive to her.
In which case, what he did to her would be like Luis wotnot being forcibly snogged by a raging queen determined to impose his sexuality on him.
And I'd love to see what the signor's response would be to that.

What? Because she's a footballer? I don't get why you have extrapolated her sexuality based on what you know of a different team's players? Such a bizarre comment

MaybeanothertimeNotReally · 11/09/2023 22:28

BinkyBeaufort · 11/09/2023 22:22

I don't know anything about Jenny, but it occurred to me that, like so many of the England player, she may be gay.
In which case she would never choose to kiss any man, as it would be totally repulsive to her.
In which case, what he did to her would be like Luis wotnot being forcibly snogged by a raging queen determined to impose his sexuality on him.
And I'd love to see what the signor's response would be to that.

I agree to this, a large number of female football players are gay, so what Rubiales did was even more unacceptable. He would know this so It's almost like he's intentionally forcing heterosexual behaviour on a possibly lesbian player. A bit like conversion therapy, this is what you're missing out on etc.

EggInANest · 11/09/2023 22:28

He grasped her head so that she could not evade him. It was horrible to see.

If ultimate measures are now being taken against him that is is own fault for not immediately apologising, being honest and taking responsibility. His whole arrogant attitude to calls for resignation just compounds the fact that he thinks he can do what he likes - to women, everything.

Scienceadvisory · 11/09/2023 22:28

Fucking hell, how many people are still excusing sexual assault? And @User41 sexual assault is always violent, its not less serious just because he didnt leave a bruise or it wasnt rough enough for your liking.

He was her boss. She was at work. He grabbed her head and kissed her without her consent. It is blatantly sexual assault in the workplace with a boss using his power to hurt a subordinate. And yet some posters on here think he should have been able to keep his job. What the fuck is wrong with people. Not only would keeping his job be giving him permission to do it, or worse, again but it would also mean the victim having to work with him.

covid18 · 11/09/2023 22:29

Username1221 · 11/09/2023 22:07

@CurlewKate I think because I don’t believe the act was sexually motivated and I don’t think it was violent in nature. Instead I think it was a highly inappropriate, misjudged act which is probably rooted to some degree in sexism.

Legally I do believe it would meet the definition of an assault (and so she has every right to bring such a complaint). However ethically I am not sure that a (very) inappropriate act of this kind meets the threshold for criminality. Have to admit I’m struggling to articulate exactly why though and I’m hoping this thread will help clarify my thoughts…

Edited

It's not for you to decide whether or not this assault was 'bad enough' for her to take action over.

You sound like one of those people who talk about 'rape rape' versus, you know 'rape'.

Catch yourself on.

ghostyslovesheets · 11/09/2023 22:32

But it’s so much more than his ‘kiss’ which is unwanted sexual behaviour in a work place - Spains women’s team had issues with him way before this - it was the final straw

Dinojump · 11/09/2023 22:32

He's a disgusting cunt and I hope the men's football team snub him, too.

COME ON PEOPLE, of course it was sexually motivated! He wouldn't have kissed a man on the lips like that!

Oh, and then there's the fact that he grabbed his crotch..

EggInANest · 11/09/2023 22:33

An unwanted kiss is unwanted. No qualification, and no mitigation for being 'the right sexuality' if she is straight.

Sexual assault is less repulsive if it's by the 'right sex'? Why would that be? because you might enjoy it a bit? Or 'ought to be used to it'?

monsteramunch · 11/09/2023 22:34

@User41

I think it's really odd you don't see grabbing and holding someone's head while you kiss them without permission as a violent act.

SaltyCrisps · 11/09/2023 22:35

What? Because she's a footballer? I don't get why you have extrapolated her sexuality based on what you know of a different team's players? Such a bizarre comment

It's not a bizarre comment. I've no idea why it is, but it is simply a fact that there's a higher-than-average proportion of gay women playing club hockey. (I know that, as I was a club hockey player for very many years.) I should think it will be exactly the same in women's football and rugby.

justifie · 11/09/2023 22:35

Is his mother still locked in the church on hunger strike?

bombastix · 11/09/2023 22:35

No. She stopped on day 2. Too hot

EggInANest · 11/09/2023 22:35

It was violent in nature. He grasped her head - forcefully. So that she couldn't move. He physically restricted her freedom.

Dinojump · 11/09/2023 22:39

justifie · 11/09/2023 22:35

Is his mother still locked in the church on hunger strike?

It's funny what shame makes people do.

MelodiousThunk · 11/09/2023 22:41

He’s an utter scumbag as was Vilda. Going down for an inappropriate kiss is rather like Al Capone getting done for tax evasion - the team finally had something that could stick, and they damn well made sure it would stick. Jenni must have secretly been thinking “Gotcha!” when he did it.

FabFitFifties · 11/09/2023 22:42

Going against the grain, but I didn't think it looked sexually motivated at all - it seemed like a delighted, congratulatory, kiss, that he would of given to either sex.

Dinojump · 11/09/2023 22:44

FabFitFifties · 11/09/2023 22:42

Going against the grain, but I didn't think it looked sexually motivated at all - it seemed like a delighted, congratulatory, kiss, that he would of given to either sex.

Oooof. You're a braver man than me.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 11/09/2023 22:44

So if you achieved something at work and your companies big boss forcefully grabbed your head, held it and kissed you wouldn’t consider that assault or sexually motivated @User41 ?

Northby · 11/09/2023 22:45

I think a positive outcome of this scenario is that the responses to it really clearly show how ingrained misogyny is in our culture.

I’ve discussed this with my DH as an amazing example of how misogyny works, and why women are more and more vocal about sexual assault and the me too movement etc.

A woman has been subject to a sexual act while at work, without consent, performed by her boss, and somehow people still sit and think to themselves, “what’s the problem?”

THAT is the problem.

monsteramunch · 11/09/2023 22:45

FabFitFifties · 11/09/2023 22:42

Going against the grain, but I didn't think it looked sexually motivated at all - it seemed like a delighted, congratulatory, kiss, that he would of given to either sex.

If you landed a massive deal at work, for example, and your boss forcibly held your head while he kissed you (and fwiw only you, despite it being a team effort) on the lips, how would you feel about it? Genuinely, how do you think you'd feel?

LizzieSiddal · 11/09/2023 22:50

I don’t think it matters what you or I think @User41

Jenna Hermoso did not consent to what Rubiales did, he did not apologies but lied about what happened (despite their being televised evidence). He’s a nasty misogynist and I’m glad he’s gone.

noodlezoodle · 11/09/2023 22:50

It's a bit depressing that on a board where I assume most posters are women, that there are so many saying it's not sexual assault. I don't see how it could be much more cut and dried to be honest.

PygmyHippoBob · 11/09/2023 22:52

Rubiales’ own uncle reported him for hiring prostitutes young enough to be his daughter. This is from Private Eye

To ask what your opinion is on the Luis Rubiales and Jenna Hermoso kiss is?
OhNoForever · 11/09/2023 22:52

I would no longer be able to work for someone who did that to me. It wasnt just a little peck he full on grabbed her. We commented on it at the time. It was sexual assault and I would expect if it happened to you you would realise the gravity.