Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have my toddler on lap for a 5 hour flight?

53 replies

PinkCheetah · 10/09/2023 23:26

We're booked to fly to Cyprus in November, by which time my DD will be 19 months old.

We booked her as seat on lap because I couldn't imagine lugging around a car seat the whole way.

But now having second thoughts. She's obviously quite wriggly, a toddler, and won't easily sit still. The flight is 4h 40 mins. Am I asking for trouble?

I'd like to know others' experiences. DD last flew when she was 5 months old, obviously in lap and was very easy.

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 10/09/2023 23:33

I’m sure it could be ok, especially if you split the time between you.

But assuming it’s just you, Dd and your partner, if you got a seat for her you could have a whole row. Then she could lie down with her head on one of you and feet on the other and have a bit of a sleep?

Nevermind31 · 11/09/2023 00:02

I would get a seat (you don’t need a car seat), just so you have a whole row. Having a wriggly toddler, and a stranger sat next to you us quite hard work

AngryBirdsNoMore · 11/09/2023 00:07

Check the rules on whether you need a car seat if you book her her own seat?

I flew with a 13 month old on my lap for a three hour flight. It felt twice the length. SO wriggly. If you have a sleepy baby or it’s an overnight flight you might be ok, but I found it hard going, to be honest.

wavws · 11/09/2023 00:08

Can you give her an action filled day before so she’s sleepy on the flight?

GrassWillBeGreener · 11/09/2023 00:12

I think if you book a seat for an under 2, you will still be required to have them on your lap for take-off and landing, and probably if there is turbulence requiring seatbelts. But you'll have the use of the seat for them in between which may be very useful. Having said that, years back we travelled long-haul when our youngest was 15 months, had bulkhead attached childseat option some of the time. But thinking about it, we also had the option of both children sitting in one seat together sometimes. (the far bigger issue was that the just 4 yr old was still convalescing from serious illness and had difficulty even sitting in a car longer than 20 minutes .... travelling home for a family wedding otherwise we'd have cancelled the trip)

heyitsthistle · 11/09/2023 00:13

I had a 19mo on my lap from the UK to Texas (return flight was overnight). It was surprisingly okay, seeing as she can sometimes be a bit difficult.

4h50m will be alright, I reckon.

DiscoBeat · 11/09/2023 00:15

We never booked an extra seat, even on long haul, but as there were two of us we could take turns and walk them up and down the aisle, etc. Also we always were careful to book flights for nap time/bedtime

EveryoneButSam · 11/09/2023 00:29

Did this on a 9hr flight with an 18 month old. Spent about 7hr of that walking up and down the aisle with him and the rest sat on the floor whilst he sat in my seat but it wasn't that bad and we had no money for an extra seat for a toddler. I think 5hr you'll be fine.

Original poster
PinkCheetah · 11/09/2023 02:13

Thank you for all the comments. For clarity it's an early flight (7am) so she'd need to get up early (say 5) in order to get there on time. She might be tired and go to sleep or she might be stimulated by everything doing on around her.

OP posts:
Kissmas · 11/09/2023 08:06

If you're flying at 7am you'll need to get her up before 5! She doesn't need a seat, it'll go surprisingly fast

CalistoNoSolo · 11/09/2023 08:38

If you're flying at 7am you need to be at the airport for 5am to check-in. It's 2hrs before (3hrs if long haul). Just book another seat. Please dont subject the random stranger sitting next to you and your wriggly toddler 5 hours of being kicked and disturbed.

Nevermind31 · 11/09/2023 10:39

and please… get your child some headphones if you rely on any kind of screen to entertain them!

Kwasi · 11/09/2023 23:04

Exactly this! Some poor bugger is in for an awful five hours.

boatyardblues · 11/09/2023 23:08

If she is anything like my son at that age she won’t be in your lap for long, but you will do many, many laps of the aisle. 😬 That said, our flights were transatlantic ones and it was possible to do loops up one aisle, through the cabin crew’s kitchen at the back, down the other side and back round ad nauseum.

Applebyapples · 11/09/2023 23:17

If you're flying with someone else and can take turns it might be ok, though if you can afford it I think it would be more comfortable for everyone if she had her own seat. It depends on whether you'd rather have a harder time of it but save some money, or vice versa! I once took a ten hour flight alone with a 23 month old on my lap, and it was absolute hell. We were so squashed, I couldn't go to the toilet as there was nowhere I could safely leave her, I couldn't have any liquids on my food tray as everytime she wriggled she knocked everything on the tray!

Mememe1234 · 11/09/2023 23:26

Seeing this gives me anxiety 😅 we took my boys on a 3 hour flight and that was hard enough esp my youngest who’s 3. It’s put us off travelling again 🫣

Fizzology · 11/09/2023 23:32

Book her a seat.

laurajayneinkent · 11/09/2023 23:33

We've done this many times with our children and it was fine. We fly to Italy 2-3 times a year as we have family there. The kids have done this since they were born and Ryanair dictates a lap strap for kids under 2 so we've been thru that stage with both of them and done it several times.
You may have to wander up&down the aisles a bit but generally speaking we kept them amused with a "bag of tricks" and would get something new out of the bag every 20mins or so. Little toys, colouring books, stickers, snacks, and last resort a tablet containing downloaded cbeebies apps & similar. Usually ones that don't require sound.

aLittleWhiteHorse · 11/09/2023 23:33

I flew transatlantic 3 times with a child under 2 on my lap and it was surprisingly fine. Baby always seems to insist on being on a lap anyway.

Nooop · 11/09/2023 23:40

I’d say it depends what kind of plane too.

Some of the PP who flew long haul were also probably on planes with screens, room to move around the plane etc which are very comfortable, as opposed to say a Ryanair flight where every inch of space which can be occupied is!

Recently flew myself Ryanair with my 20 month old for 2 hours with no screens- it was absolutely fine but if had wanted to go 4hr40 I think I would have had to accept giving her a tablet. The person next to us remarked they were surprised she was no bother! The main winner was suction fidget spinners stuck to the window. Also lots of sheets of stickers!

thommoal · 12/09/2023 02:38

I’d buy a seat if you can afford it. Whether you take a car seat or not is up to you but we have only ever flown with car seats (lived in America for the first 4 years of our kids’ lives where it’s more common practice especially if you’re in a car at the other end) except with the odd EU airline that didn’t accept an infant seat. Depending on the airline they can sit in their seat from takeoff to landing and it’s a familiar, comfortable seat that can help with the wiggles. big fan of having a contained child and have even managed to have a sneaky nap next to my baby watching a show 😅

if you don’t take a car seat, having the extra space for them to curl up on is just worth if for you. Why add the extra stress to your journey when you’re probably already doing all the packing and planning etc for the trip?! Give yourself free arms and get a drink

newusernamevictoria · 12/09/2023 03:09

I've done flights to the US with toddlers on my lap a few times, it's difficult but not impossible. One time I was also about 6 months pregnant, that time was considerably harder. Go being very prepared, snacks, new little toys books, movies etc.

Ragwort · 12/09/2023 03:22

I really wouldn't, I developed a DVT on a flight when my DS (who ironically did have his own seat) fell asleep leaning on me and I therefore didn't move for fear of disturbing him. It led to weeks of uncomfortable treatment and could have been fatal ... please don't risk that.

madeleine85 · 12/09/2023 04:05

I did a 13 hour flight with my 20 month old in my lap. I assumed that if I did business there would be space for 2. There wasn’t. I’d absolutely go back and buy 2 regular seats. She wasn’t awful, it was just uncomfortable as hell. We’re doing a flight later this year with our 3 yo and 18 month old and there’s 4 seats. I wouldn’t do it another way now.

SoSad44 · 12/09/2023 04:17

You don’t need a car seat. I did 10
hour flights with both my children when they were under 2. It’s not an issue, bring stuff like screen, toys, snacks, walk around etc. If you really think it’s impossible book another seat. You DC will almost definitely sleep on the flight, the aircraft noise is very soothing.

i would be worried about getting up at 4 or earlier not the extra seat.