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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have my toddler on lap for a 5 hour flight?

53 replies

PinkCheetah · 10/09/2023 23:26

We're booked to fly to Cyprus in November, by which time my DD will be 19 months old.

We booked her as seat on lap because I couldn't imagine lugging around a car seat the whole way.

But now having second thoughts. She's obviously quite wriggly, a toddler, and won't easily sit still. The flight is 4h 40 mins. Am I asking for trouble?

I'd like to know others' experiences. DD last flew when she was 5 months old, obviously in lap and was very easy.

OP posts:

WandaWonder · 12/09/2023 04:21

No it it would not be comfortable for the people around you, you or your child

Ponderingwindow · 12/09/2023 04:39

I wouldn’t fly with a child on my lap. Just because it is legal doesn’t mean it is safe. Get a seat and bring a car seat that is plane approved.

TeeBee · 12/09/2023 04:44

Good lord, my two would never have sat in my lap for 30 minutes. And I couldn't stand to be sat on for 5 hours. I'm in the 'get her a seat' camp.

mathanxiety · 12/09/2023 05:00

Agree with @thommoal

Buy an extra seat. See if you can bring a car seat.

I'd be concerned about blood clots.

5YearsLeft · 12/09/2023 05:28

It does seem a bit like almost all of the answers can be summed up as 1, 2, 3, or some combo of them:

you could if you had to,
but why would you want to,
and you probably won’t enjoy it.

With smatterings that can be summed up as:

“You’re thinking of holding your toddler on the flight to Tenerife? Well… I held my toddler perfectly all the way to Elevenerife!”

dahliadream · 12/09/2023 06:22

We took our toddler on a four hour flight earlier this year when she was 17 months and it was fine. She actually ended up with her own seat anyway as the plane wasn't full but she would have been ok without, as we could raise the arm rest between my DH and I and she could sort of squash in there or play in the footwell. We have booked another flight in October when she will be 22 months, again we haven't booked a seat for her and I'm really not worried at all. She's generally quite a wriggly child who likes to be on the go but she was really no trouble at all on the flight, I think it's all just so new and interesting to them!

Edit to say we had to get her up at 2.45 for our 6am flight and again that was a breeze too, much less stressful than I had anticipated.

Emmacb82 · 12/09/2023 06:26

I took my 18 month old on a flight and we didn’t get a seat for him, I would never ever do that again! The pressure of having him kicking off and screaming with a stranger sitting next to us was unreal. I wish I had just bought a seat so we were a 3 on our own. You’ll get plenty of people who have done it and it was fine but it all depends on how your child is on the day and how well you cope with the stress.

GreyhpundGirl · 12/09/2023 06:42

I flew to Barbados from the UK (8/9 hour flight).with my hefty 15kg 23month old as a lap infant..I walked the aisles a lot- she was far more entertained doing this than any of the toys/ activities I'd packed!

Prettypaisleyslippers · 12/09/2023 06:50

Legally toddler needs to be on your seat fir take off and landing. Not sure how you go about booking a seat for under 2 years old?

why would you take a car seat?

DreamOnDream · 12/09/2023 07:31

I’ve only done short flights (2,5h) with Ryanair when my DS was under 2, and I always booked an extra seat next to mine. It’s just so much easier to handle everything, at least for me, if you have that extra space.
Yes under 2, they have to be on your lap for take off and landing but rest of the time they are free to sit on their own.

M103 · 12/09/2023 07:37

I've done 4 hours on the lap with both mine when they were little. It was fine. I don't know anyone who has booked a seat for a child under 2.

drivinmecrazy · 12/09/2023 07:39

FGS don't let your toddler play in the foot well.
I did that once, started to drift into a lovely snooze only to be woken by someone four rows down holding up a baby asking who this belongs to.
Took me a moment to realise it was my child 😂

PuttingDownRoots · 12/09/2023 07:43

Which airline?

I flew to Cyprus and back on Eayjet a few times and my knees were practically touching the seat in front... there would have been nowhere to put a toddler!

An airline with better leg space could be easier.

Peccary · 12/09/2023 07:52

Did a four hour flight with 18 month old DD once, it was so bad we drove to France for our next few holidays. She wouldn't sit still, didn't have the attention yet for screens (long delay in airport so everyone cranky). It was a lot better on the way back when Jet2 gave us an extra seat free as the flight wasn't full.
We'd flown with her at 11 months which was a dream, false sense of security!

Hollybobs1 · 12/09/2023 07:57

It's not that bad. I did it in August and just took turns with partner. We took a tablet with games and movies downloaded and she was quite happy.

Caspianberg · 12/09/2023 07:57

It’s easy to book seat for under 2, you just contact airline direct. Most you then book as ‘ first name: comfort second name: seat then call up or use online chat and name change for free.

We have done several times for 1-2 year old. Didn’t take car seat though as neither of ours were allowed as rear facing toddler seats. But was far nicer as take off and landing was only 20 ish mins, and he could lay down between dh and I in spare seat, and gives adults space to hve tray table down

TropicalTrama · 12/09/2023 08:04

Book the seat! You don’t need the car seat, if it’s a British toddler seat it likely isn’t airline approved anyway since there aren’t any currently for sale. She can go on your lap for take off/landing then into her own seat once the seatbelt sign goes off. Make sure you have an ipad with headphones too and practice with the headphones at home, we used to do 5 minutes everyday in the 2 weeks before flights. Cocomelon we found was best for holding their attention, you can download it on netflix.

Starfish11674 · 12/09/2023 08:07

We did this exact trip with our kids this year. 3 and 17 months. Toddler was on our laps. She did really well. The flight wasn’t crazy busy so she did get a chance to lie down on the seats some of the way, but I think it would have been just fine even if she didn’t.

We gave them both little back packs and filled them with lots to do, magazines, colouring, iPad, books, toys etc and that kept them both happy all the way through the flight.

Hope it goes ok!

mynameiscalypso · 12/09/2023 08:11

Book the seat. We've always booked a seat for DS. It made it much easier for him to sleep across the seats, was much more comfortable for everyone and we got the extra cabin baggage allowance coming with an extra seat.

Münchner · 12/09/2023 08:16

We did 20 hours each way + 9 hour layover to Australia and back with our then 15 month old on the lap the whole time. She slept for around 40% of the time, the rest we had to entertain her. It helped that it was 2 parents vs. 1 child so we were able to share. We sat up the front near the bassinet seats and all the other passengers around were also parents with young children so that help a little with the entertainment. We decided not to waste money on an extra seat and we we're glad we didn't.

4-5 hours should be relatively straightforward, I would just do it. It will be definitely easier if the kid sleeps at least some of the time. You're only flying over a couple of timezones so jet-lag won't be factor. Ignore disapproving looks from other passengers when your child is invariably noisy, its an aircraft, not a library. Just go for it OP.

HMW1906 · 12/09/2023 08:17

We flew with our eldest at 11 months (to Cyprus) and 22 months (to Gran Canaria). it was absolutely fine both times. Take lots of entertainment and snacks. We don’t generally allow him to watch his tablet much but got the flights we did and he was settled most of the time.

Katela18 · 12/09/2023 08:27

I'd book the 3rd seat in the row. She will need to be on a lap during take off and landing but then could sit between you at other times. You don't need to take a car seat.

We recently flew to Lanzarote with our 4 year old and 20 month old and honestly, the 20 month old was hell.

Didn't want to be on a lap, over stimulated and wouldn't nap, wanted to run around, too hot on the flight.

Having all 3 seats helped, I would have felt awful if there had been another customer on the same row as us.

Also lots of new toys. I just went on Amazon and got magnatiles, travel jigsaws, books, colouring. We also downloaded a couple of films on Netflix (not that 20 month old was really interested). Lots of snacks too.

Ozgirl75 · 12/09/2023 08:53

We did the flight to and from the U.K. to Australia when we had a 13 month old and a 3 year old, in 3 seats. AWFUL. He had just learned to walk so just wanted to be down practicing the whole frickin time. We must have done 900 laps of that goddam plane. Then he fell asleep on me for about 7 hours and I ended up with the most agonising coccyx pain which lasted for about 3 months.
Youll probably be fine on a short flight but if you can afford the seat, but it!

Veee24 · 12/09/2023 09:49

We flew to the US when my daughter was 18 months back in 2019, it was a 8 hour flight and honestly she was fine! She watched a load of downloaded CBeebies and Disney on a tablet with headphones for a few of the hours, slept on one of us for another couple, I took a LCD drawing pad that are like £7 on Amazon which she loved and she did the standard toddler tour of the plane a few times too.

We have a micro fold pram which fitted in her suitcase, and checked her car seat at the gate.

Cmxox · 12/09/2023 10:55

Just flew there and back with 19 month old on my lap she was great. Lots of toys, snacks and give them a little walk around if you need to. My little one is very sociable though so liked seeing all the people. Way back we had a row to ourselves, me my partner and daughter so when seatbelt signs were off she sat in her own chair.

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