To wonder why the National Trust have addressed mail to my husband?

[GreenTreees]

I have just signed up for a joint National Trust membership. I entered my details first as the lead member. The subscription is coming out of my own bank account.

I have received a welcome email and temporary membership cards.

The email opens addressing my husband first: “Hello Mr Smith and Dr Smith.” His is the first name on the membership cards.

AIBU to be disgruntled that they have defaulted to male first, even when I’m the one paying the bills?!

(And they can’t even say that they’re following convention, because convention would be Dr first anyway!)

Humph.

If you have the same surname and it's his then it makes sense tbh.

I signed us up to NT as a joint membership and my name is first on the membership cards, I get the emails, and magazines are addressed to me (only). I’m a Mrs and took my husbands name.

Not with the bank contract

Its a legal thing and a legacy issue of banks duplicating old systems onto computer systems.

[ Take @lanthanum 'S case a lot of the banks could not change a single to a joint account as the computer system was designed to stop people other than @lanthanum from getting money out of her account. So most banks needed to close the single account in @thislanthanum name and open up a new account in the joint names as the code to run the new account has to run 2 individual srcurity checks to see if 1 of 2 people can do a withdrawal ]

anyway ...

T&C
each party to the contract will be given notice by mail
the bank as first party will be Bank ltd at X address
The lonee as second party will be Mr Lead Name at X address (address can be changed)

So if the loan is in arrears by sending notice to Mr's address, you (living somewhere else) are also notified for collections/court proceedings

Someone has to be first - why should it be you or the other name?

If it was always a matter for admin to sort out who was paying what and therefore who should be FIRST it would be time consuming and potentially wrong when the priority was unclear.

Too much emphasis is now about being offended about minor matters (see car salesman thread) - it was never what women's lib and the fight for equality was about. .

Traditional etiquette is that Dr comes first.

Why does it make sense?

She set up the membership and payments.

Trad custom is that Dr comes before MrMrs.

Why does it make sense?

They sent me a card with Mrs on, I have never used Mrs and never want to, they had taken my form and altered it so I sent it back.

They sent me another, I phoned them and se t the second one back.

They had no idea what they might have done wrong, what a joke.

Did you misread the opening lines by the OP.

The OP provided all the data.
Who the first named person on the contact list was.
Who the second named person in the contact list was

Yet the admin decided to reorganise the data which was provided.
You recognise that "would be time consuming and potentially wrong when the priority was unclear." yet the OPs fee is being used to fund a system which creates an admin problem where no problem should arise.

The person who's name it actually is comes first. Just makes sense to me. If you use seperate names then sure mix it up.

@fairyfluf
Are you suggesting that the name I've had for nearly half my life, and that has seen me through two children and a PhD, is somehow only something I'm borrowing from my husband?

I fell out with NT when they regarded my husband as the primary account holder and I was secondary.
Because he is a TA and doesn't earn enough to pay tax, I wanted them to claim gift aid from me. They were unable to change it without a call from him, but they couldn't talk to him to set up gift aid because it required my details...

He can't phone them during term time due to school and if I take time off during the holidays, I generally have better things to do to facilitate their gift aid when the insist on such an anachronistic membership policy.

What nonsense is this?!

But even if I weren’t a Dr, they should address the person who set up the membership and who is paying for it, first!

This. Hold the line.

I’m first on my NT membership with DH; and we share a surname.

Perhaps it’s alphabetical?

Yep. About the only card you can’t put in your digital wallet.

I have same irritation with NT, really winds me up! I wrote to them about a replacement car park sticker , had an email conversation with them as there was a delay, and lo and behold, letter with new car sticker arrived addressed to DH.
I'm a volunteer and have raised it internally, got no response.
No point in cancelling membership, we have had life membership for 30 years or more and its a lot more expensive now.

My ex vets did this. I registered all the animals, I take them to every appointment, I pay every bill but every vaccination reminder was addressed to Mr Vixen, every label on every prescription bottle said Mr Vixen. It’s one reason they are my ex vet.

National Trust always puts my name first. I pay the membership

Hi

Did you double check how the ownership of any pets who were microchiped were registered?

Yes my name always comes first.

I am the lead and I have changed my name.

National Trust did the same to me and they are notorious for this - there have been a few threads. Definitely contact them.

When I bought a house, I paid £100k up front for the mortgage and my husband paid £5k, I did ALL the paperwork and was the only person to talk to any of the lawyers or brokers.

You guess it. All the emails were to "Mr PlehPleh" (coming from my email address be signed off only by me, he never spoke to them). All the mortgage stuff was addressed to him first and sometimes only him.

All he did was sign things I put in front of him. I was so appalled and angry the whole way through, I even often asked why they were only addressing him despite only ever speaking to me and they just ignored it. It's so awful and made me feel completely invalid.

I work for the NT. I have seen lots of membership records. I'd say at least 60% of the time the lead member is a woman. But I guess mistakes sometimes happen when the forms are processed. Out of interest, did you sign up at a property or online?

So long ago, I fear by post!