It's a school shoe spot the difference thread!

[TheUnstoppableWindmill]

Can you work out which of these shoes is NOT an acceptable school shoe for a policy which states that students must wear black shoes of polishable leather in a non-trainer style?

I've got a year 7 child just starting secondary school. We were encouraged to email the Head of Year to check that shoes are acceptable under the school policy if we had any doubts. Thanks to a helpful Mumsnet thread I sent a handful of pictures in the style that I know if comfortable for my son. I was told these were "all perfect."

The ones I bought have now been rejected. I genuinely can't tell the difference.

So, AIBU to think that if 3 out of 4 of these shoes are perfect, then they should all be acceptable?
And can you guess which ones are too "trainer-like"?!

Tbf these pics are from the side and at eye level. The difference in shoe shape would prob be more subtle when actually worn on a child and looked at from above (especially adult's pov). They'd look really similar

I would send another email featuring three of the above (Inc the hush puppy) and one that looks more trainer like and then ask which they would consider to be acceptable. See if they then pick out your son's shoes as unacceptable second time round.

OP, if your son is on the school's SEND register they have a duty to make / consider reasonable adjustments for his sensory needs - no need for a doctor's note. All the shoes you've posted look fine to me - and your son has selected a pair based on comfort and support. Getting my kids to choose shoes has always been stressful and I'd be so upset if the school put any extra pressure on them over it. Neither can deal with laces so we went for velcro or slip on, in a similar style to the ones you posted. Thankfully their schools were inclusive in their policies and it was never an issue.

Without criticising teachers (because I doubt it's individual teachers setting the criteria) almost all teachers on MN say how overworked they are and how much stuff outside the classroom they do (and I am not doubting it for a monent) ....so who's idea is it to come up with rules so nuanced that teachers have to be emailed and thus reply out of school hours, on what shoes to buy???

My own DC school came down really hard on uniform rules when they all went back ft after covid. With all the extra protocols and procedures around testing/bubbles, one way systems, etc I couldn't imagine why they were giving themselves more work to do by heavily policing uniform (especially when shops had been closed for months)

I don't think any of them.are trainer like. All three of my sons where this type to secondary. Private and state.

I'd be petty and send him in in Nike airs with a note to excuse his footwear until you get paid and then have time to source new shoes.

But in reality I'd send him in the ones I bought and plead your now skint as used up your shoe budget.

School shoes not being OK but kids vaping on the way to school. It's hardly a massive deal in the scale of secondary school possible issues is it

Write a strongly worded letter to the head, head of year and SENCO and note he must have supportive footwear with a Velcro strap as a reasonable adjustment. Be very firm. They are seriously being ridiculous

Every year I read these types of threads with my jaw dropped.
There are many things that I don't agree with in the school system in Germany (which is where we live) but the lack of any kind of uniform is one I can totally get behind. Both my dc (one in primary, one in secondary) just wear clothes - normal, comfortable, affordable clothes. Some kids are really into designer labels and make a big effort. Most wear jeans and t-shirts/hoodies. And 99.9% wear trainers. I can happily report that it has no impact on their ability to learn whatsoever.

Exactly @Fizbosshoes , it's absolutely maddening. I do not want to spend my time replying to emails from parents of students in my form about school uniform policy. It's not a good use of my time, when I don't have time for the important stuff. I also don't want to pick a fight with teenagers because they're not wearing XYZ, just before I'm going to spend an hour with them trying to teach them something difficult. The SLT who make these rules and insist on being anal about them to the extent that they make no sense (I refer you to the schools that insist that students must wear blazers in 30 degrees), are absolute knobs. Most teachers think they're knobs. So if you're an SLT reading this who makes your teachers enforce this kind of nonsense, you can rest assured that your colleagues think that you're a knob, and they don't have much respect for you.

The shoes look fine to me 🙄

If it makes you feel any better, I went to a school which had an official school coat you could buy from their official supplier. It was expensive (wool, full length) and uncool so virtually no one had it - we were allowed to wear any navy coat. But I had it in year 7.

My teacher held a class coat inspection and told me my coat was a banned style and I would have to buy a new one (it was such a dark navy it looked black). I took great glee in telling her it was literally the official school coat.

It’s the shape and sole of the shoes that make them feel so trainer like. My guess was Hush Puppies. Shame - they do look very comfortable and easy to get on/off.

So how can we, as parents, stop the ridiculous uniform policies in this country? Don't come at me with "if you choose to send your kids there" etc. because in my area (north Birmingham suburbs) there is literally no choice nearby unless you go private or are catholic.

To be fair, my children's schools are fairly sensible but even so, black trousers and blazers in 30 degree heat is ridiculous and shirts and ties annoyingly old fashioned.

I'd love to abandon infield altogether but I feel that might be a step too far but what can we collectively do?

In Scotland too & this wearing of random trainers would definitely not be acceptable. In my school I work in it has to be all black shoes- no ridiculous policing, just all black, including trainers. Shirt & tie & blazer.

Surely the email reply from the teacher that they were all “Absolutely Perfect” should be enough…

@TheUnstoppableWindmill

you emailed them, they gave you the OK. Stop engaging with them and tell them that if they want to pay for another pair of school shoes then they can go right ahead, but you’re not replacing a perfectly good pair of conforming school shoes.

my DS is year 12 now, but there was the odd whiff of jobsworth when he was in school, you have to pick your priorities in terms of what’s important to change and and this isn’t one of them.

the school shoes are bought and paid for and they fit. Whenever he’s grown out of them, you’ll replace them. They are black, polishable and leather.

Woman up, Mum up, Parent up - whatever works best for you and tell them that you have ticked all the boxes they asked and that’s the end of the matter

If these shoes were stocked at the official uniform shop I would raise this with the school.
Absolutely bloody ridiculous, as if teachers have nothing better to do with their time. I was rubbish at being the uniform police in my last school, so glad that my new school does not have a strict uniform!

you emailed them, they gave you the OK...

and then she bought a different pair which she thought would be OK.

All look like trainers, the Hush Puppy more like plimsolls because of the flat sole. I think schools should either insist on proper shoes or, preferably, accept all of the 4. Sympathies OP

The hush puppies. They wouldn't be allowed in our school either

"black shoes of polishable leather in a non-trainer style?"

It's right there in the OP. First paragraph.

If they would really deprive him of a day's education over shoes that can only deviate from their unpublished (and as yet un clarified) policy by such a small difference that we're here trying to guess what it was, then that school is not for fit purpose.

What if all the teachers asked the kids about their interests and ideas instead of engaging over shoes - there surely can't be much appetite for this kind of thing from the staff enforcing it. What if they all just refused to give a shit or
-it can't be why anyone got into teaching.

You emailed the head photos of schools to ask which one you should buy? Is that right!!!

We all really need to push back against this kind of shit

Put an 11 year old kid, who has no control over the matter, in isolation because a perfectly sensible shoe is deemed too trainer like (it isn't) though signed off virtually identical pairs. I'd say that isn't a suitable environment for young people to thrive tbh

Their policy might say a Drs note but legally an identified need doesn't have to be diagnosed. So they are incorrect to insist.

We were advised to by the school. Seemed like madness but obviously not in this case. I sent a selection to check that the style was ok rather than the specific shoes, which turns out are more different to the others than I realised.

This is fecking ridiculous - you have my sympathy.

I totally understand schools banning branded trainers, but this level of nit picking is unbelievable. What the hell is happening in schools today that the style of plain, black, totally tiktok free style of footwear causes so much anxiety? It's bloody disgraceful.

I remember, many moons ago, the gut churning need to find money for cricket and rugby gear at school. Now, looking back, I really wish I hadn't totally screwed myself, over to buy them the branded kit. But I did, and my life changed immeasurably because of it.

My ' children' are now in their 30s, but I still feel the anger on behalf of parents today.

If a school said ' black trousers are skirts, blue shirts or polo shirts, black shoes, not trainers, sensible, waterproof coat and sportswear, unbranded' that should fulfill all criteria.

I want to say tell them to stuff it, but it's not that easy, is it?

I guessed the Hush Puppies before reading the thread. The banding or whatever you'd call it looks like a trainer. I don't see why that makes them unsuitable for school, but they are distinctly more trainer-esque than the others.