It's a school shoe spot the difference thread!

[TheUnstoppableWindmill]

Can you work out which of these shoes is NOT an acceptable school shoe for a policy which states that students must wear black shoes of polishable leather in a non-trainer style?

I've got a year 7 child just starting secondary school. We were encouraged to email the Head of Year to check that shoes are acceptable under the school policy if we had any doubts. Thanks to a helpful Mumsnet thread I sent a handful of pictures in the style that I know if comfortable for my son. I was told these were "all perfect."

The ones I bought have now been rejected. I genuinely can't tell the difference.

So, AIBU to think that if 3 out of 4 of these shoes are perfect, then they should all be acceptable?
And can you guess which ones are too "trainer-like"?!

Honestly, sorry for posting again but I'm completely baffled. And echo those posters saying why are they wasting time on such trivialities?

(I agree with uniform and even policing it to a reasonable extent, but if you sent pictures of the other 3 - all quite trainer-like in different ways - and bought the hush puppies, I do not understand why they have been rejected.)

Don't buy another pair, OP. Just refuse. Get someone to explain to you why the other 3 are ok and not the pair you bought. Hopefully they will catch themselves on.

If the other three were 'perfect' than the almost indistinguishably different ones should be at least 'good enough' surely?!

That aside, what could the school actually do if the OP, or any other parent, refused to buy another pair?

Hush puppies but I went back and forth between that and shoe one.

Hush Puppies have textured leather not smooth. Is that what they are on about?

I also don't really understand why they can't have trainers?

I think the school will put my child in 'reset' (i.e. isolation) if they don't conform to the policy. I'm assuming that they'll give him leeway on Monday while we wait for the others to be delivered- hopefully.
The 'reset' debate is a whole different issue, of course!

I don't think so- the leather is the same as on the Next pair. I think it must be the flatter sole?

My DS wears hush puppies with a single Velcro strap for secondary school. He is also on the autistic spectrum and can't manage laces. He says slip on are uncomfortable. It is ridiculous how controlling this has all got now.

I do not understand why schools don’t want these types of shoes. They’re actually a perfect compromise- not trainers, look pretty smart, but the kids can still run around/ play football etc in them. I don’t get it.

Have you forwarded the email onto the Head of Year where they approved the very similar shoes? Have they given a reason as to what the crucial difference is, that means the shoes you have chosen are not allowed? They need to be able to answer that question imo, you shouldn't need to guess, or ask a load of people on Mumsnet. Maybe their explanation will be sensible e.g. if it's the Hush Puppies because they look like a Skater trainer.

And in the real world loads of us are wearing actual trainer like trainers and jeans to our office jobs, including very senior people. As actually all anyone cares about is that we're good at our jobs.

Are teachers really so under worked that they are having to impose rules like this to justify their employment. Tell them to teach the students.

@TheUnstoppableWindmill is this an English school your child is at? I’m in Scotland but I’ve never heard of such strict rules for a school here. Some days my kids wear random trainers to school just cos they feel like it and the school don’t mind.

I would have said the start rite shoes are the most trainer-like but they are so similar I don’t think I would even notice in real life the difference! I think it borders on ridiculous amounts what the school are expecting - are the other kids having to get isolated for their shoes too?

Does the rector expect you to buy new shoes?

all look like trainers

Well quite, very much my point as well!

Honestly OP I do despair, and I used to teach in a school.

I recall once asking a student (a noted challenging student whom I had taught at one point) whether the (grey, not black, branded) trainers he was wearing were his normal shoes, or had his black school shoes got wet? (School rule btw was black shoes, not canvas, not Vans (popular then) but DMs, Kickers, trainer style in leather all OK.)

He replied: "No, these are my normal school shoes. Other people in the school also wear trainers [true but usually black at least] and until they all wear proper school shoes, I am wearing these to school."

Clearly what a parent had told him. I despaired and then realised he was not my student, nor in my form, and the argument was just not worth it.

None of them look like trainers to me, they all look like shoes that you could wear to work in. I think they’re being absolutely pathetic. Perhaps you could get a letter from a private physio to see him through the whole of school and then just get him actual trainers (which are recommended by many physios/ podiatrists as the healthiest footwear to wear)

Yes @Hayliebells I did exactly that and was told the Hush Puppies were trainer-like while the other ones weren't. I have replied asked for further clarification as to how specifically they differ, pointing out that the upper is the same as the Next shoe, only with leather rather than fabric at the ankle, and the sole less trainer-like than the Clarks or Startrite, and the double straps the same as the Clarks. I'll see what they say.

Completely agree with this too.

The flat sole and general style of the Hush Puppies is very trainer-like I’d agree with the school there.

I do think however ultimately they should just accept that if they are the typical brands and from a school shoe range they should just accept them regardless

Indeed @thirdfiddle, most school uniforms are ridiculous. I agree with school uniform, but why oh why cannot it not just be a polo shirt and jumper? So many required a blazer and tie, when very few actual business people wear that nowadays. I'm a teacher, but I don't have a lot of respect for the uniform police.

@Yokaiwatch yes, school in England. Part of a very large, completely dominant multi-academy trust in which all schools have the same uniform and behaviour policy.
I was a secondary school teacher too and my current job still involves working with schools in our region. Still got caught out it seems!

Ds gave up trying to do shoelaces up. He is in his 20s and still can’t do laces.
It isn’t for want of trying

I ended up pulling him out of school altogether for a variety of reasons but one was about insisting he wore lace up shoes. The problem as well as not being able to do laces up. (He gave up football because he couldn’t tie his shoe laces.)

But the particular type of shoe they said was acceptable his feet just wouldn’t fit in.

His feet have grown to a normalish shape now, he still has a high arch on his feet, but they were almost square shaped when he started senior school
(dh had the same issue growing up and had to have shoes made for him)
Now ds’s feet have “flattened” the problem is trying to get shoes to fit his size 16 feet

I would have said the start rite shoes are the most trainer-like but they are so similar I don’t think I would even notice in real life the difference!

Of course we wouldn’t. One pair of black shoes looks much the same as any other when we’re standing up. Coupled with that, kids will be behind desks most of the time. We had to really concentrate to spot the difference. Who has time to do that on a busy school day?

I think the rationale is that then you do have kids in the sports branded trainer shoes like Nike, Adidas, Puma etc and kids do get caught up in the expensive brands thing. And I know Clark's, Hush Puppies etc can be just as if not more expensive, but they're usually less of a status symbol

I do not understand why some schools feel the need to have the pupils dress up like 1940's civil servants, but I do kind of understand the desire to not put kids or their parents under pressure to shell out on brands (if indeed that is the case for the policy)

I'd be inclined to ask if you can be excused this year OP, given you've been told that very similar shoes are OK. Mention the cost of living crisis (unless maybe if it's a private school). Tell them you can't afford to buy a second new pair of shoes.