To not send child on school trip

[Notreligious]

My child’s primary non religious school has organised a trip to a multi faith centre and I’m considering not sending my child.
The school already has a heavy influence from the local church (vicar holds regular assemblies, is a governor with no children of their own, trips to church without telling us parents) which I disagree with as a non religious school.
On the trip they would need to wear head coverings and take a vegetarian packed lunch. Neither are a problem although I am uncomfortable treating girls different with them having to wear a head covering and boys don’t.
I understand that this is more of an awareness trip to appreciate different cultures and religions but we practice that as normal decent human beings everyday.
I think my issue is more to do with the regular influence of the church rather than this trip but it just feels a step too far but I think I may be overthinking it and kids just see it as a lovely day out!

Have you ever actually spoken to any Muslim women about why they choose to wear it rather than Daily Mail click bait? There are a range of views. I have visited mosques and worn a head scarf out of respect- I have not been converted to Islam so I don't know what your concern is.

I don’t think it is bigotry to not want your child to actively participate in practices that go against your beliefs. I think respect can be shown by not entering if you’re more comfortable with that. I would question how it can be a multi faith center and require this dress code

They aren't participating in religious practices they are learning about them. For a visitor the headscarf is equivalent to taking off your shoes going into someone's house (which they also do in a mosque). Some people ask you to do it some don't.

Multi faith centres are usually used when there isn't a specific building so people can use them to worship their own faith and I'm assuming that visit is being hosted by somebody from Muslim faith, but I think the wide eyed I don't knows on this thread know that !

But do people ask girls to remove shoes and not boys? What is it about girls hair that means it needs to be covered but not boys? (Genuine question)

The shoes comparison was about respect in someone's home. Not a good one obviously.

Going on the trip would be a good way to find out why things happen. It's not for me as a non-Muslim to explain.

So if it is a multi faith centre where different faiths worship not all will cover during their own services?

And they won’t have visited during worship.

I have visited mosques (The Paris Mosque is so gorgeous, go for the architecture and mint tea) and temples and removed shoes in the areas where everyone removed shoes, but have never been asked to cover my head. I have been to Greek Orthodox churches and monasteries in Greece and everyone, men and women alike have covered upper arms, upper bodies, above the knee.

I just can’t see why girls would need to cover at a multi faith building, and would object to girls heads / hair being treated as less ‘respectful’ than male heads.

I think it's fine they will learn about different faiths. Even the Catholic primary school I work at we have to teach about all different religions. We visited a Mosque once, it was very interesting, although the children or staff were not asked to cover their hair. That part surprises me as usually primary children would not be expected to do this.

Oh, I wouldn't have assumed that. I'd have assumed it was a trip about all faiths, rather than being hosted by any specific one.

As an RE teacher friend used to say to parents who didn't want their child learning about anything other than Christianity, " At school we also teach them History, we don't expect them to turn into Vikings"

I remember being 5 or 6 and being taken to that huge temple in Neasden. It was beautiful and smelt lovely and the people there were the kindest folk I’ve ever met, I was enchanted by the whole thing. They gave us some food to try as well and it was a lovely day. I’m quite old now, when I was young we had 3 or four Muslim kids, 2 Hindu siblings and a couple of Jews in my entire school despite being on the outskirts of London. Obviously as I’ve grown up and got to know different people and different cultures I find that observing their practices and respecting them is very much about showing kindness to the person and absolutely nothing to do with whether their faith in any way resonates with you. Also, there’s a lot of confusion where political and cultural practices get intentionally or accidentally confused with faith based ones. It’s really important for children to learn this stuff so they aren’t confused or anxious around people of faith. My son could easily prepare a kosher or halal meal if he needed to for guests, we are atheist but we still need to know how other people do stuff.

I'm an atheist and I'd let my kid go. It's educational and that's the bottom line. Knowledge is power and ignorance is well, we know where that leads..

The trip would be fine, I'm surprised about head coverings for pre-pubescent girls and about it being a requirement when there is no service and it's a multi-faith centre. Even in most mosques, young girls don't wear them. In multi faith centres, many of the adults wouldn't usually cover their heads, so I'd say it's worth looking up the particular venue rules.

If you can see they don't mandate a headscarf, or have pictures without headscarves on adults, then you are better placed to go back to school with some questions about if this is a requirement for the trip, or just for a brief section in the day. They may have been asked to take a scarf to play at putting on headscarves as part of the appropriate session with thoughtful awareness about the symbolism, but it's been misinterpreted as being needed all day. Hopefully they would link discussions about a whole range of head covering types for different faiths, including turbans for the boys.

I do wonder if girls of other faith's would be told to remove their head covering to attend a Christian church. I wouldn't allow the head coving based on that.

You can wear a hat to church many women do why would girls be asked to take their head coverings off . What a ridiculous statement.

No by wearing a headscarf they are being asked to participate in a religious practice which is solely linked to their sex. It’s fine to respect others wish to do so but be against doing this yourself. One belief doesn’t trump another but you can’t expect to enter and disregard the rules of those whose space it is. People are mainly opposed to this practice due to beliefs around sexism so it’s not comparable with any practice that affects both sexes equally.

No they are being asked to respect the custom of covering their head , if someone refuses to respect that then they shouldn't go this is a school trip nobody is being forced into anything.

No it wasn’t your post I took offence to!
Child will be going on the trip and we will continue to keep discussions open and welcome and respect all faiths, beliefs and cultures as we have always done anyway 😀

I don't like the idea of young boys seeing only their female classmates with heads covered, and understanding that this is sanctioned as normal by the adults (I assume it would be difficult for school staff to be critical of the practice without inadvertently sowing seeds of intolerance, etc.). The visual impact would be impressive and, among this age group, would probably not be discussed in a way which would prevent sexism from taking root. Gender is learned and communicated from a very young age, so of course this is going to shape the kids' worldview.

I genuinely do not think that my position is Islamophobic. Surely everyone can agree that certain cultural strands of the major religions are key vectors for sexism? That's hardly a controversial thing to say. The visit sounds like a brilliant opportunity to me - just minus the head covering for small children. Wearing it should be treated as a political decision and I would want the children to know something about the action that they are performing - that it has a meaning and is not a neutral act. A lot of Muslims would no doubt find it very odd if a child were told to participate in the matrix of sexual modesty (e.g. Ed Husain).

There are no rules banning headcoverings in church. Wearing a hat used to be the norm. I think it was St Paul who said something about 'covering your crowning glory'.

Primary school kids shouldn't need to wear them. When we visited a mosque in Egypt my daughter was up for discussion as she is nearly as tall as me so despite being 12 she could have passed for an adult. Had she clearly been a child, like those going on a school trip, there wouldn't have been a question.

I agree, I would not send my daughter somewhere where she had to cover her hair

I would only allow my child to go if they wanted to wear the head covering. if they didn’t want to wear it then they wouldn’t be going.

It’s ok to respect all customs and beliefs equally

What would you do if they chose to date a Muslim or someone who has a faith when they are older?
If they married and wanted some kind of blessing at a mosque would you refuse to wear a head cover or just refuse to go?