To not send child on school trip

[Notreligious]

My child’s primary non religious school has organised a trip to a multi faith centre and I’m considering not sending my child.
The school already has a heavy influence from the local church (vicar holds regular assemblies, is a governor with no children of their own, trips to church without telling us parents) which I disagree with as a non religious school.
On the trip they would need to wear head coverings and take a vegetarian packed lunch. Neither are a problem although I am uncomfortable treating girls different with them having to wear a head covering and boys don’t.
I understand that this is more of an awareness trip to appreciate different cultures and religions but we practice that as normal decent human beings everyday.
I think my issue is more to do with the regular influence of the church rather than this trip but it just feels a step too far but I think I may be overthinking it and kids just see it as a lovely day out!

Re is part of the curriculum and all kids are taken to a variety of places of worship. My dc lived in a small village when they were infants school age and I accompanied the school trip to see a mosque, the Buddhist centre and a gudwara in a nearby city. The vicar came with us as a helper which I thought was wonderful multi culturalism. This wasn't a church school either.

I don't see why you wouldn't want your dc to learn about different faiths

Read that back and think about how you sound. Is that how you want to come across?

Yes it’s a good plan to separate the issues.
My child is at a C of E, because it is our closest school but I would have chose not religious if there was one reasonably close.

Id find the trip to the multicultural centre interesting and be happy my child is doing it. I’d be less happy about the ongoing involvement of a vicar in what is meant to be a secular school.

@FoodFann

Respect goes both ways. Through my work I get invited to multi faith and community events, wearing a (flimsy, very loose) headscarf shoes you have respect for them entering their space if required. It's only Islamic venues or hosts no other religious events require them and I only play lip service to it, my hair is still showing mostly. Just respect and they make amazing food

They did a similar trip when my daughter was at school. She didn't go.

If you don't want your child to go on the trip, it's perfectly ok. Do whatever you feel comfortable with.

I am surprised about the head coverings. That's never been a requirement of primary aged children in my experience.

I took my kids to the local mosque open day. They asked women to cover their head but also made it clear that it was optional and children didn't have to. It was really interesting, and the food was great! 🤣

The kids asked one of the ladies why women cover their heads and men don't and it was a really interesting discsussion.

Definitely let her go, and see if your local mosque has open days - its really worth visiting.

Whilst your child's school doesn't have a specific faith link, or is supported by a specific faith, it's unlikely - if in England - that it is entirely non religious.

If I remember rightly it is still the case that all English schools, unless a specific father school, must have a broadly Christian outlook and should also have a daily collective meeting which is broadly Christian in nature.

Many schools do get round this by referring more to morals, ethics, etc which tend to be very generic and don't actually refer to a faith. But, as far as I know, the legal requirement still exists.

There have been numerous articles and more trying to look at removing this legal requirement but they've not yet done so.

YABU.

My kids primary was.a c of E school so there was reasonable focus and close relationships with the village church.

They took the kids to Bolton for a day where they visited a Hindu temple, a Sikh gurdwara, a mosque and a synagogue and in each someone told them all about it and showed them what people do there.

It was actually a brilliant trip and taught my kids so much.

Indeed.

My Dc went to a non denomination primary in Scotland but they are still connected to local churches where they would do end of term services etc I don't think any uk is secular,

On the headscarf point, I vehemently disagree with women being required to act differently to men, but I also work with and know some amazing women who wear headscarves so out of respect for them, and the religion generally, I would cover my hair.

Having said that, I'd be hugely surprised if they insisted for primary age, unless it's a year 6 trip maybe.

If you go to Rome it's not unusual to see older female catholics covering their hair. It's also really common still in Middle Eastern Christians.

OP I would just let her go and sell it as an item of clothes girls sometimes wear that boys don't like a skirt etc.

I think the trip sounds fairly progressive. It’s a red herring here, your issue is the school.

Church school: I’m an atheist but my DD went to a church primary. It’s swings and roundabouts. I dislike the primacy of Bible teachings etc but I think the moral framework of Christianity (aside from what it teaches about the role of women) is quite good. So I was ok with it with caveats and health warnings.

Ultimately your issue is with the school not the trip. If it bothers you that much you need to change.

I have no religious belief, but I would not only allow this but encourage it. I think it's important to know about the beliefs of others even if you don't share them. I would also think it is particularly important for the children to do this if you consider the Christian church has too much influence at the school.

In modern day Catholicism the mantilla is extremely outdated, not enforced any more and you aren't refused entry into anywhere in Rome if you don't wear one.

It’s the fact that only the girls have to wear the headscarf that would annoy me. It’s to hide women away from the ‘evil eye’ (leering men). Ought we be exposing our daughters to that sort of medieval, sexist notions? That they are second class citizens?

I assume, op, that if the trip was to a local synagogue and boys had to wear a skullcap you'd also object on the grounds that "it's not right for some children to have different demands placed upon them".

I cannot stand this flagrant lack of respect for other religions and cultures.

I deliberately sent my DC to a secular school rather than the much closer faith schools. I was quite surprised how Christian it was, they teach Christianity as a fact rather than a 'this is what some people believe' type thing. As such DD7 believes whereas we are agnostic at best and I support her in that.

Our school does a similar visit in year 5 and headscarves are not required. Are you sure this is the case OP? I would be happy to wear one as an adult but would point blank refuse to make my DD wear one. If this means she wouldn't be allowed on the trip, so be it.

Would a skullcap actually ever be required for non Jewish boys visiting a synagogue @madnessitellyou? As the item is worn as a sign of their faith/devoutness it seems wrong to wear one if you are not Jewish, would this not be insulting or at best appropriation?

This is why I would feel uncomfortable making DD wear a headscarf. She isn't Muslim so isn't wearing it as a sign of her faith. As an adult I would wear one (begrudgingly from a feminist standpoint) out of respect for their requirement for female modesty, but children should not have the same need to be modest.

My grandmother would never have entered a church without a hat. In most cultures women wore a head covering to show respect when entering a religious building. Wearing one on a school trip isn't about shrouding or oppression, it's just about tradition and respect. Perhaps if you let your dd learn about other religions and cultures, she will be able to pass this knowledge back to you.

My Dc attended mosques, temples, synagogues, gurdwaras and churches with school and cubs and scouts.

No child was ever asked to cover their heads anywhere.

It would completely stick in my craw to ask girls to cover their heads and not boys.

I’m sorry if your post is in reference to mine - I didn’t mean it to come across like I thought you were being bigoted, because I don’t get that impression at all - just that without being able to explain your reasons to everyone, it may be read as bigotry. I think this approach is ideal - let them go and experience it, but also take the time to discuss your own views. That seems the best way for mutual respect.

I am an atheist and I am very strongly opposed to any faith/religious involvement in schools. I would be happy for my child to go on this trip.