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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Covering up in the heat

26 replies

Swinglower · 08/09/2023 22:43

Hubby is in a huff over how I was dressed when I answered the door today to get a parcel.

I had a day off today so dropped the kids at school ran some errands then got back after lunch planning to spend the afternoon cleaning.

when I got back I was already hot so changed into a vest and shorts to stay cool. Halfway through cleaning I heard the door go so went to see who it was, took the parcel (which he ordered and didn’t tell me about)
and went back to cleaning.

hubby collected the kids from school and when he came in i told him about the parcel To which he asked “you didn’t answer the door like that did you?” He thinks I’m too exposed to be answering the door and should have covered up. This led to an argument which I shut down as the kids could hear.

for reference I was wearing mid thigh shorts and a vest that wasn’t see through or low cut. I’ve seen far more revealing outfits on the school run!

AIBU?

OP posts:
Wishitsnows · 08/09/2023 22:44

He has serious issues

Superfunepicmariofan · 08/09/2023 22:45

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Frozenone · 08/09/2023 22:46

He’s being ridiculous and half the women in the country are dressed similarly in this heat.

dementedpixie · 08/09/2023 22:48

Fgs I go to the shop in vest and shorts if its hot

Cowlover89 · 08/09/2023 22:48

What an ahole

AdoraBell · 08/09/2023 22:48

Ridiculous of him, is he controlling?

WhateverMate · 08/09/2023 22:49

You don't need to ask this question.

TarantinoIsAMisogynist · 08/09/2023 22:50

Is he normally this controlling? Or controlling in other ways? Because this sounds like it could be the tip of a nasty iceberg.

thisone6 · 08/09/2023 22:51

Blimey, I went on the school run in shorts and a vest top - as did lots of other mums! He sounds like he has some issues.

Original poster
Swinglower · 08/09/2023 22:51

I think he’d had a tough day. Normally if I wear anything actually revealing he doesn’t mind

OP posts:
Perfect28 · 08/09/2023 22:53

He is abusive and controlling

Xrays · 08/09/2023 22:54

That’s insane. My postman often gets me in my dressing gown with my pjs on..! Who cares. It’s not like you’re naked.

Sigmama · 08/09/2023 22:55

You're back tracking now, obviously he's unreasonable

PlantDoctor · 08/09/2023 22:58

That's not good. My husband would never dream of asking that, even if I was dressed with cleavage on show. As long as you were dressed and not in underwear or something inappropriate, what does it matter? Not liking the sounds of this controlling behaviour.

Original poster
Swinglower · 08/09/2023 22:59

He’s only once told me something wasn’t appropriate and that was a dress for a christening which had a low neckline. I hadn’t long discovered I was pregnant and was swelling by the day so my boobs spilt over the top. So he was right that day

OP posts:
Crankitupanotch · 08/09/2023 23:02

I'm a professional cleaner for a living, working in people's homes.

It's reached 32° this week where I am. All week I've been to work in shorts and vest. I've been around the young, and the elderly, single people and couples, men, women, teens and children. Not one has batted an eyelid or even mentioned my workwear for this week. No stares, no shocked looks, no comments.

I even came home and swapped the vest for a bikini top and sat out in the garden while DS and his mates played footy around me. Again, nobody died from shock or gave a toss.

They didn't mention it or faint at the sight of my skin cos it's bloody hot, it's not unusual to wear less laters when its hot and they're all wearing shorts and vests too.

Your DH is being fucking stupid.

Crankitupanotch · 08/09/2023 23:03

*layers

MsAlice · 08/09/2023 23:14

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Chickenkeev · 08/09/2023 23:16

Swinglower · 08/09/2023 22:59

He’s only once told me something wasn’t appropriate and that was a dress for a christening which had a low neckline. I hadn’t long discovered I was pregnant and was swelling by the day so my boobs spilt over the top. So he was right that day

Edited

Why are you in any way accustomed to someone (who isn't an employer) telling you something 'isn't appropriate'? That is full on, bat shit crazy altogether.

Hollyppp · 08/09/2023 23:25

Bit weird of him.

we had builders last summer and I regularly opened the door at 7am in my pj shorts and t shirt!!

Kat19899 · 08/09/2023 23:35

This is really strange if he isn’t normally controlling so YANBU. Today I went out in shorts and a sports bra, this evening I nearly took a guy’s eye out in a very thin vest top while popping out to water the front pots. It’s boiling and we’re all in the same sweaty boat. People are wearing swimwear in the centre of cities! Surely hubby knows your postman has seen people in far less!

PurpleMonkeys · 08/09/2023 23:45

Swinglower · 08/09/2023 22:43

Hubby is in a huff over how I was dressed when I answered the door today to get a parcel.

I had a day off today so dropped the kids at school ran some errands then got back after lunch planning to spend the afternoon cleaning.

when I got back I was already hot so changed into a vest and shorts to stay cool. Halfway through cleaning I heard the door go so went to see who it was, took the parcel (which he ordered and didn’t tell me about)
and went back to cleaning.

hubby collected the kids from school and when he came in i told him about the parcel To which he asked “you didn’t answer the door like that did you?” He thinks I’m too exposed to be answering the door and should have covered up. This led to an argument which I shut down as the kids could hear.

for reference I was wearing mid thigh shorts and a vest that wasn’t see through or low cut. I’ve seen far more revealing outfits on the school run!

AIBU?

Policing what you wear...

Nope. Nope. Nope.. nope.. nope...

I would tolerate that for about as long as I'd tolerate a rat being strapped arsehole first.to.my nose.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 08/09/2023 23:54

He's being ridiculous
Completely normal clothing when it's hot

PickAChew · 08/09/2023 23:59

He's telling you how he behaves around women who aren't "modestly" dressed.

MariePaperRoses · 09/09/2023 00:01

Does he change into shorts and a vest and would he answer the door like that?

Of course he would.

He's an oaf.

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