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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU or is it the wine causing silly thoughts?

51 replies

pavementsally · 08/09/2023 22:26

I had to take an overnight work trip to the city I went to University in & only left in January of this year. DP came along for the free stay at my invite as it’s the city we initially met in.

On the way back to the hotel from work (without DP), I bumped into a guy “Bob” I used to casually see & sleep with before DP a couple of years back. We made small talk, filled in each other about our lives (mentioned being here with DP & our dinner plans for that evening), and he ended with a lovely compliment.

My response to compliments since I was a child was to always scrunch my face, something I SHAMEFULLY never outgrew despite me granny telling me it would give me wrinkles! (Botox is the answer £££).

”Bob” & another ex used to always mention the face scrunches and other little things I used to do or the way I used to say things in kind and positive ways, but since being with DP he hasn’t made any comments or noticed anything about any little quirks I may have or things I do or say a bit weirdly. DP’s compliments towards me typically are nice smile, great laugh, nice dimple etc., but none of the small things i.e. DP curls his hair when he’s nervous leaving little piglets in his hair.

I’m home now (DP & I don’t live together) but feel a bit odd? I won’t lie, I cried! How is it a guy I only ever casually dated and slept with for 3 months remembers these things a couple of YEARS on yet DPs never noticed or commented/compliment on any of my small things or quirks. I remember scrunching my face around DP before and he just asked “what was that” 😂😂😂 and in fairness he’s right, it’s not that cute, I look like a pug😂😂😂

I’ve had a bit of wine so I may be thinking silly but I was thinking what the heck would ever be in his vows for me????? Oh yes she has a lovely smile, yes she has a great laugh and yes lovely dimples. Like…… ????

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 08/09/2023 22:28

How much wine have you had exactly 🤣

pavementsally · 08/09/2023 22:29

A bottle and a taster… with a side dessert of lots of romcoms😂😂😂

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WitteringawayatWestWitteringBay · 08/09/2023 22:29

‘Tis possibly the wine making you over think maybe!

pavementsally · 08/09/2023 22:31

I’m not telling you you’re wrong… or you’re right 😂 I’ve spent the eve watching a couple of romcoms (younger sisters going through her first heartbreak) and all the wedding vows or big win you back speeches are pulling my heart strings. DP doesn’t even remember the date we became a couple or my birthday!!! I have to leave subtle reminders 😂

OP posts:
CountryStore · 08/09/2023 22:31

Pmsl at the piglets in your dp's hair 😂
You probably need to consider things when you're sober, about whether you feel your dp knows you and is interested on you or not

pavementsally · 08/09/2023 22:33

I’m awful because I let him go out with the piglets in his hair too 😂😂 he’ll catch himself in a mirror or window and just pat his head down like a rabbit till they’re flat

He says he’s interested but has a short attention span, and in fairness he has an alarm set to remind him to eat….. 🥸🥸🥸

OP posts:
WhateverMate · 08/09/2023 22:36

Do you mean ringlets?

I've honestly never heard of hair piglets 😁

pavementsally · 08/09/2023 22:38

Yes I must mean ringlets😀

AIBU or is it the wine causing silly thoughts?
OP posts:
WhateverMate · 08/09/2023 22:41

Sorry, I have no advice but hair piglets have made my night 😁😂🐷

Aquamarine1029 · 08/09/2023 22:41

Perhaps your relationship isn't what you need it to be and bumping into your old flame has brought up some unexplored misgivings.

INeedAnotherName · 08/09/2023 22:43

I imagined curly piglet tails which are looser than ringlets.

Keep scrunching your face, maybe DP needs to see it more 😉

Lbsnged · 08/09/2023 22:44

I'm absolutely lovin hair piglets too!!

pavementsally · 08/09/2023 22:45

I swear my mother used to ask me if I wanted piglets in my hair as a child!!!

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pavementsally · 08/09/2023 22:46

I’d love to show you a pic but I fear DP will discover Mumsnet in a parallel universe because he discovered Reddit 😂😂😂

Maybe I will draw one

OP posts:
Lesina · 08/09/2023 22:46

Have you considered drinking Carlsburg? It’s only 3.6% and causes much less introspection. I’d do that.

pavementsally · 08/09/2023 22:47

I just want the cute vows that mention the cute things I do. DP doesn’t seem arsed with my cuteness 😂😂😂

OP posts:
ChippyTea16 · 08/09/2023 22:47

Lol do you mean pigtails? But hair piglets is much funnier and cuter 😂

pavementsally · 08/09/2023 22:47

Is this a joke?

OP posts:
OrlandointheWilderness · 08/09/2023 22:47

What is good about your DP? There will be things so much better about him if he is a good one.

notasimportant · 08/09/2023 22:55

Hair piglets Grin

Like a mashup of pigtail and ringlets, I love it!

pavementsally · 08/09/2023 22:55

DP has changed a lot in the past couple of months. Since Day 1 I’ve planned all the trips and dates (DP only ever planned our first date). He’s an awful gifter, now I’m not materialistic but this is the fella who bought me shoes in the wrong size for my birthday after asking me my shoe size 100 times… everything’s 50/50, now I’m all for feminism but christ who wouldn’t want a meal bought for them!!!!! Romantics not in his vocabulary and he does not believe in cards for any occasion, I couldn’t tell you what DPs handwriting looks like. Now he is a rural fella and I suppose you could say the rural ones are a bit odd and tighter money wise??

OP posts:
Metatarse · 08/09/2023 23:13

I knocked the romance out of dh pretty quickly. I don't have time for faff. But I haven't cooked a meal in 20odd years and he's never let me down. I don't need bollocks cutesy vows. I've got a dh who knows me inside-out, loves me warts and all and gently mocks my flaws. If I said I wanted flowers, he would get them. But I'd rather live with a man who demonstrates his love in practical ways. Like saving my half arsed. Houseplants.

Metatarse · 08/09/2023 23:14

I also don't want a man to think I'm cute. Dangerously irresistible- yes. Cute- fucking hell no.

Spookymormonhelldream · 08/09/2023 23:14

Maybe what you think are your cute quirks, are what he thinks are the, I have to live with these weird habits as I love the rest of her, bits?

pavementsally · 08/09/2023 23:15

I hear ya & I’d love that. DP didn’t get me flowers for a good 9 months when we first started off and I’d gotten him some!!! and I was basically begging for them but he just never bothered and then one week he sent them to my work as a surprise but I think I begged for them so much at that stage that it just felt forced and not genuine.

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