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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU or is it the wine causing silly thoughts?

51 replies

pavementsally · 08/09/2023 22:26

I had to take an overnight work trip to the city I went to University in & only left in January of this year. DP came along for the free stay at my invite as it’s the city we initially met in.

On the way back to the hotel from work (without DP), I bumped into a guy “Bob” I used to casually see & sleep with before DP a couple of years back. We made small talk, filled in each other about our lives (mentioned being here with DP & our dinner plans for that evening), and he ended with a lovely compliment.

My response to compliments since I was a child was to always scrunch my face, something I SHAMEFULLY never outgrew despite me granny telling me it would give me wrinkles! (Botox is the answer £££).

”Bob” & another ex used to always mention the face scrunches and other little things I used to do or the way I used to say things in kind and positive ways, but since being with DP he hasn’t made any comments or noticed anything about any little quirks I may have or things I do or say a bit weirdly. DP’s compliments towards me typically are nice smile, great laugh, nice dimple etc., but none of the small things i.e. DP curls his hair when he’s nervous leaving little piglets in his hair.

I’m home now (DP & I don’t live together) but feel a bit odd? I won’t lie, I cried! How is it a guy I only ever casually dated and slept with for 3 months remembers these things a couple of YEARS on yet DPs never noticed or commented/compliment on any of my small things or quirks. I remember scrunching my face around DP before and he just asked “what was that” 😂😂😂 and in fairness he’s right, it’s not that cute, I look like a pug😂😂😂

I’ve had a bit of wine so I may be thinking silly but I was thinking what the heck would ever be in his vows for me????? Oh yes she has a lovely smile, yes she has a great laugh and yes lovely dimples. Like…… ????

OP posts:
Laneymoo · 09/09/2023 07:37

I think some of the comments on this thread are very unfair. The OP is posting about her issues which are relevant to her. She is in no way taking away from a thread about domestic violence. And no one, myself included, is telling her to leave him cause he doesn't laugh at her scrunched up face. I think this boils down to a basic lack of compatability and a mismatch of personalities. Not remembering your birthday is unacceptable in my view. It sounds like you want a more fun loving relationship OP and there is nothing wrong with that! I'm nearly four years in with a ten month old and there's still plenty of romance so don't settle.

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