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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wasn't told that my 1 year old had no food

84 replies

KittyKat95 · 08/09/2023 22:01

It was my 12 month old DS's first week at nursery this week and he's been quite unsettled.

When I picked him up today, I was told that he hadn't eaten since 10am (I picked him up at 5). I was really concerned to know that my one year old hadn't eaten for 7 hours.

As soon as he was handed over to me, he was pulling at my clothes wanting breast milk (he doesn't usually have this until 7pm) and becoming quite upset so I quickly went to my car to feed him and went home.

This evening, I'm feeling quite upset that my baby had no food all day and was probably starving and I'm thinking about complaining to the nursery. AIBU to expect that they should contact me in the event that he's not eating, so that I have the opportunity to bring in something that I know he likes? I just think it's crazy to allow a one year to go all day with no food and it makes me really anxious about sending him again next week!

OP posts:
PeopleAreWeird · 09/09/2023 01:32

The nursery i worked at wouldnt allow you to bring in food he likes.

We cant guarantee the ingredients used in the cooking process (other children having allergies )

Then the fact other parents / other children would want to bring in food they like and it gets very complicated

LuckySantangelo35 · 09/09/2023 09:24

@Rachaelrachael

”would be really annoyed about this OP! I'm surprised at some of these responses. Our nursery (busy bees) update the app throughout the day. On the one occasion my daughter refused to eat the meal, they made her a sandwich and the nursery manager sat with her and had their lunch together.
I would have a chat with them and make your expectations clear. You need to trust your nursery and clear communication is so important!”

but that can’t happen everyday though! The manager probably wants a child free lunch!

Thehuntess · 09/09/2023 09:32

Precious first born ?

Hufflepods · 09/09/2023 09:39

If the didn’t eat anything, and was obviously offered a morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack and tea then it’s not about offering him something he likes unless he’s an insanely fussy eater. It’s either he’s still not settled into nursery or he’s on the cusp of getting sick.
I don’t think suggesting things he likes to nursery is really the best route.

If you are happy to come and pick him up after lunch if he hasn’t eaten it then let the nursery and I’m sure they will take that on board the next time. Not all parents would be able to leave work because their child wouldn’t eat their lunch so I can see why they didn’t jump to that first.

Luxell934 · 09/09/2023 09:58

You are being unreasonable. It's his first week at nursery, lots of children, especially babies are extremely unsettled during their first few weeks at nursery. They miss their parents and their homes. It's not unusual for them to refuse food and be upset for most of the day.

He likely didn't eat because he was unsettled, and probably he would have refused even his favourite foods. I've worked in nurseries and we wouldn't have phoned a parent to tell them that their child hadn't eaten. We would have kept offering snacks and meals, and discussed at the end of the day.

If you want to come and feed your child every time he refuses food at nursery then please make that clear with the nursery manager and key worker. But in the long run it will just make his settling in process harder for both him and you.

Give it a few weeks to settle and I'm sure he will be eating happily at nursery.

Rachaelrachael · 09/09/2023 11:46

LuckySantangelo35 · 09/09/2023 09:24

@Rachaelrachael

”would be really annoyed about this OP! I'm surprised at some of these responses. Our nursery (busy bees) update the app throughout the day. On the one occasion my daughter refused to eat the meal, they made her a sandwich and the nursery manager sat with her and had their lunch together.
I would have a chat with them and make your expectations clear. You need to trust your nursery and clear communication is so important!”

but that can’t happen everyday though! The manager probably wants a child free lunch!

I'm not suggesting that should happen every day, I'm simply stating that this was my experience - that my nursery went above and beyond and found a solution to the problem.
Obviously if it was a regular occurance and she continued refusing to eat then I would look at other options but I wouldn't let her go 7 hours without food on a regular basis.

TheWayofBeing · 09/09/2023 11:47

He probably refused all the food. That's not their fault.

Topjoe19 · 09/09/2023 12:19

Honestly it doesn't change, my 5yo DD can barely eat all day at school some days (most days!) She's just ravenous when she gets home & it's constant food then. I don't worry about it, as long as they have a drink it'll be ok.

Dibbydoos · 02/12/2023 18:15

Did he drink anything @KittyKat95

We can all forgo food, but drink is another matter....

Speak to them so they know to call you.

I hope he settles in soon x

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