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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Peeing in public

125 replies

ToddlerIs2 · 08/09/2023 16:38

Just after some advice really.

In the new days of being toilet trained, what did you do if they needed to pee no where near a loo?

Finished school, I checked if they needed a wee. They said no. Teacher confirmed they'd not long been. Great. Literally 5 minutes from school, twin 2 needed a wee. And it was a big one. I then checked twin 1 and he wanted one too. Had to do it up a wall on the residential street.

Getting them back to school, getting someone in reception to let us in etc would have taken 10 minutes. The nearest shop with a loo is probably 15 minutes away. We didn't get home for at least 30 minutes.

What am I meant to do cos obv this isn't ideal but neither is walking home dripping pee as they wet themselves

For context, they've been out of nappies since last Wednesday so just over a week. It's a mile home but taking us 40-80 minutes. We've stopped at the local shop for a wee but we're too far from it today

OP posts:
Original poster
ToddlerIs2 · 08/09/2023 18:03

Boomboom22 · 08/09/2023 18:02

It is confusing because you say school but mean pre school. 3 year olds are not school age and the answers around peeing in a Bush would have been different.

They go to nursery in a school. And we all know they're 3 so I don't see what difference it would make?

OP posts:
Original poster
ToddlerIs2 · 08/09/2023 18:05

WhatHaveIDoneNo3 · 08/09/2023 18:00

Nothing wrong with a tree or a bush when they are young, yes its not ideal but what would the previous sanctimonious posters prefer, a child wetting themselves and having a long walk home upset?

The same people probably wouldn’t bat an eye at their precious dog urinating in public!

Yes, given where it is I imagine we've confused a few local dogs 😬

OP posts:
Original poster
ToddlerIs2 · 08/09/2023 18:07

AuntMarch · 08/09/2023 17:27

"No buggy, they're 3"... but its also taking 40-80 minutes to walk a mille!

I've since clarified this entailed a shop stop with a wee. But yes. I got in at 4.45. first day back. Not solid marching home obviously but still the length of time it took. 4.10 today, so 45 minutes. I could probably match them home in half that but I'd prefer to find a better solution whilst they learn to hold themselves. Which I've found thanks to a couple of posters.

OP posts:
Spinningcats · 08/09/2023 18:11

A mile normally takes about 15mins. I know kids dawdle but if it’s sometimes taking 1hr20 mins you need to seriously consider other options.

Original poster
ToddlerIs2 · 08/09/2023 18:12

Twinsforthewin · 08/09/2023 18:03

I have twins. Ignore everyone who doesn't have twins. If have aimed for the gutter rather than the wall but if the road is busy, it's toddler wee, it's pretty innocuous, if it goes on a wall it's no worse than fox pee.

However... You could just take the buggy so you could carry all the stuff? Had mine in a Mountain Buggy Duet til 4? I would usually walk them to nursery, then push them home, especially when it's hot like this.

Ignore all the wall pearl-clutchers, oxygen cylinders are heavy!!

Thank you.

Yes it a quiet road that time of day (last out of school as usual!) but means the cars can motor up it. So holding on reins and helping one to wee in the gutter whilst keeping the other one safe on the pavement isn't a great plan. It also involved several minutes of arguing over whether all the wee was out as second one started to jiggle 😬 so glad we were safe on a pavement. Then he's, heavy O2 cylinder for eldest who is generally sensible but cannot be trusted to hold reins of second twin.

I'm contemplating a super cheap single buggy to push to and from school so I can load it with junk but it actually makes manhandling marauding preschoolers when I'm pushing the double. God I wish we'd ignore nursery and not trained them out of it.

OP posts:
Onionsandplaydoh · 08/09/2023 18:13

TheBarbieEffect · 08/09/2023 17:45

It isn’t a “pee bottle”. It’s a travel potty. Christ, have some class.

OP is planning to buy a plastic bottle for her DC to pee in, therefore it's a pee bottle.

A potty is a bowl used by small children as a toilet, derived from 'chamber pot'.

Christ, check your dictionary.

Original poster
ToddlerIs2 · 08/09/2023 18:14

TheBarbieEffect · 08/09/2023 17:45

It isn’t a “pee bottle”. It’s a travel potty. Christ, have some class.

It isn't a potty. It's a bottle. For them to pee in. Otherwise I'm carrying a potty full of pee around which doesn't sound like a great plan. Even if you tie the bags to seal them, I don't see how it isn't an accident waiting to happen. The BOTTLES however look far more secure. More like a water bottle.

OP posts:
Brightandshining · 08/09/2023 18:14

Let them wee outside but find somewhere the wee will be absorbed into the ground and not smell. Weeing on a wall is not OK. You find some grass or soil, ideally a Bush or tree. If you wee on concrete or brick and it doesn't rain it will stink to high heaven for days.

Cigarettesandbooze · 08/09/2023 18:16

Grim to allow anyone to wee up against someone’s wall. I wouldn’t be impressed seeing that. Get them to wee immediately before leaving school. They’re late to be out nappies going to reception. You could also consider a portable potty to avoid any more weeing in public.

Original poster
ToddlerIs2 · 08/09/2023 18:17

ManateeFair · 08/09/2023 17:29

Your kids are at school and only just out of nappies?! Do you mean nursery/pre-school?

Do not let your child piss up against a wall ffs and don't keep asking the local shop if your kids can use their toilet. If they really can't make it home without a wee, get them to go over a drain or something. Pissing up a wall is disgusting and will also very quickly stink, especially in this weather.

Firstly, my eldest was actually in school before he was potty trained due to medical needs linked to his bowel resections when he was 1. So maybe temper the judgement until you clarify the situation.

The twins are in nursery, in a school. I didn't realise that was confusing because none of my kids have ever gone to another type of nursery. Sorry for the confusion for those it confused.

Shop has a public toilet so I don't ask, I just take them, and then buy something on the way out. Why would that be an issue?

And I don't want them to pee up a council wall, but standing them in the road to pee in a drain is a worse idea and letting them wee down their legs would be pretty messy as we walk along . However I've found a pee bottle on here that someone linked which will solve the issue until they can hold it.

OP posts:
LockdownLisa · 08/09/2023 18:17

OP, you've had a lot of grief here! When you're wrangling 3yo twins, an older child with additional needs (making an assumption because of the oxygen tank) and all the school paraphernalia, sometimes we've just got to do what seems the right thing at the time. I don't think it necessarily means they'll think it's OK to piss against war memorials when they're 20.

I'm pleased that this thread has helped you find a solution (the pee bottle) - hopefully this will be one less stress for you to deal with.

Poppyseed14 · 08/09/2023 18:18

OP with the travel potties you get like an absorbent thing that they wee into so you aren't carrying around a potty full of wee. You can then throw the used thing into a bin.

Original poster
ToddlerIs2 · 08/09/2023 18:19

cocksstrideintheevening · 08/09/2023 17:27

Get a wagon for the stuff.
Don't encourage your kids to piss on walls.

Permitted due to a lack of options isn't the same as encouraged. Hence asking for ideas. And talking those ideas and making an Amazon order.

OP posts:
Original poster
ToddlerIs2 · 08/09/2023 18:20

Noorandapples · 08/09/2023 17:29

Mine took a long time to be able to hold it, I insisted he went for a wee in the school toilet after school every day for years. Teachers may not like it but it's for the kids benefit, nobody likes feeling desperate to go.

Tbf I do this with eldest but school insisted twins had just gone. Highly possible. Sometimes it is only 10 minutes between pees.

OP posts:
Original poster
ToddlerIs2 · 08/09/2023 18:22

Blackblueandgold · 08/09/2023 17:32

How are they at school if they're only 3?
40-80 minutes is a very long time to walk a mile. Could you get them scooters or something like that to speed up getting home?

School nursery.

I don't think I'd feel safe with the twins on scooters as I wouldn't be able to pull them and hold their reins and we cross two big roads frequented by flipping big lorries. I also honestly don't thinky back would stand pulling two of them plus the stuff I carry. They're not small for their age 😬

OP posts:
Original poster
ToddlerIs2 · 08/09/2023 18:24

Balloonhearts · 08/09/2023 17:39

It doesn't matter if its a council wall! It's disgusting! If you don't want to be considered a skank I suggest you show some class. You don't teach children to pee up walls.

This is why there are so many revolting men who piss wherever and think its normal.

Except my 8 yo knows he has to hold it so clearly permitting something in an emergency is not the same as actively celebrating the liberation of their urination. And I'd have got a daughter to do the wee similarly located under the same lack of choices and posted the same thread for solutions to the same problem.

OP posts:
Sprogonthetyne · 08/09/2023 18:24

Non-ideal wees happen. If it makes you feel better, I had to chugg an entire water bottle so my 4yo could pee in it while half way round the London Eye.

Original poster
ToddlerIs2 · 08/09/2023 18:29

ManateeFair · 08/09/2023 17:34

It doesn't make any difference whether it belonged to a resident. It's still a public space that people have to walk past and which people lean against or sit on or whatever.

Piss isn't somehow acceptable just because it emerges from a child. If an adult was caught short and pissing up walls in residential spaces people would rightly think it was dirty and gross, so I'm not sure why people think it's OK just because it's a child. Their wee is made out of exactly the same stuff, you know.

Show quote history

Which raises an interesting question on why no one cares if a dog does it. I've clearly said I'm going to buy a pee bottle so I'm not saying I'm going to let them do it again because Mabel's pit bull does it, but it is an interesting point

With adult or older children I assume it's much more about exposing themselves than the actual liquid. A woman peeing in public in a long skirt for instance would be more acceptable than a woman in leggings.

OP posts:
Original poster
ToddlerIs2 · 08/09/2023 18:29

Sprogonthetyne · 08/09/2023 18:24

Non-ideal wees happen. If it makes you feel better, I had to chugg an entire water bottle so my 4yo could pee in it while half way round the London Eye.

😂

OP posts:
ohboohoo · 08/09/2023 18:31

@ManateeFair It doesn't make any difference whether it belonged to a resident. It's still a public space that people have to walk past and which people lean against or sit on or whatever.

Piss isn't somehow acceptable just because it emerges from a child. If an adult was caught short and pissing up walls in residential spaces people would rightly think it was dirty and gross, so I'm not sure why people think it's OK just because it's a child. Their wee is made out of exactly the same stuff, you know.
You are going to bust a gasket when someone tells you about dogs.

caringcarer · 08/09/2023 18:31

That's just disgusting. Would you like people peeing all over your wall. You could put them in a pull up if they are not reliably dry. It sounds if they only had a wee 5 minutes before they are not really controlling their bladders. Allowing them to pre all over other's people's property is actively teaching them not to respect things belonging to others. At the very least a drain would be more appropriate.

ohboohoo · 08/09/2023 18:33

Gosh all these uptight self righteous people. I wonder what they'd do if someone with Crohn's, UC or Coeliac disease suddenly had a medical event and needed to shit

Original poster
ToddlerIs2 · 08/09/2023 18:33

LockdownLisa · 08/09/2023 18:17

OP, you've had a lot of grief here! When you're wrangling 3yo twins, an older child with additional needs (making an assumption because of the oxygen tank) and all the school paraphernalia, sometimes we've just got to do what seems the right thing at the time. I don't think it necessarily means they'll think it's OK to piss against war memorials when they're 20.

I'm pleased that this thread has helped you find a solution (the pee bottle) - hopefully this will be one less stress for you to deal with.

Thank you. Yes, sometimes all you can do is the best thing in the moment. It hasn't happened before because they've literally left the house in pants 4 days Inc today. Appreciate the understanding x

OP posts:
caringcarer · 08/09/2023 18:36

ToddlerIs2 · 08/09/2023 17:38

Well the council not someone's house and they can't pee high enough to get ot where you sit unless you sit on the pavement floor.inwhich case you're probably sat in worse.

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In this heat it will absolutely stink and there is no justification whatsoever for getting them to do this.