Is my friend being an asshole or am I too sensitive? Infertility related

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I’ve recently come out of a ten year battle with infertility and multiple rounds of IVF. I’m now miraculously a mother for the first and most like only time to a lovely one month old. I met up with a friend the other day for a coffee and she met baby for the first time, whilst we were chatting she told me about a news item she’d seen on YouTube about a couple struggling to get pregnant for years and they found out it was because he was ‘putting it in the wrong hole’. She found this hilarious. I don’t know if I’m just being ridiculous and sensitive but I felt like saying why would you tell me about this? It felt like she was mocking my struggles and pain. AIBU?

I think you are reading way too much into this. Enjoy your baby and don't overthink random comments too much.

Omg I read that article.. It was too bizarre not to be shared. Congratulations on your dc op..

Congratulations on your baby. I do think you’re overthinking this a little, I’m not sure your friend was being an asshole.

Yes you’re being over sensitive, unless you think she was insinuating that you also had this mishap?

With the greatest respect I think YABU, from what you've said she's not mocking you- your infertility struggles are completely separate. What did she say which makes you feel like it's you she's mocking? Was she asking if that's what you were doing wrong?

Yeah YABU and oversensitive. It is funny.

Sorry, you are being a little too sensitive here, that’s a v funny story.

Why would you think she was doing anything other than sharing a news story she found remarkable? Your friend is not an arsehole. Chill a bit.

Lighten up, you have your baby and it was a joke. Nothing to do with infertility either it was about logistics. Sometimes I think people want to be offended.

I don’t think she was implying that’s what you did! It’s a funny unbelievable story. I wouldn’t take it personally!

I wouldn’t think in a million years she was mocking you. Why would she?

YANBU, this is not something I would have thought to say to you.

Think you are being a bit of a drama llama....

Calm down, get a grip and enjoy your baby.

I imagine she was thinking about/remembering your infertility and it triggered the memory of this infertility story she'd seen recently. She's not mocking you or even linking your experiences, it just came into her head.

You are being oversensitive.

And why would you call your friend an arsehole? That's not a very nice thing to say is it? Like I said it wasn't a story about infertility either it was about putting in the wrong hole. Plus you have your baby so it's not like your still struggling. I'd never have called my friend an asshole because of something she said. She was talking about an asshole not being one....maybe you should take a look in the mirror.

If she'd said it while you were still struggling to conceive and she knew this, then yes she would absolutely be an asshole. Or if she was very obviously insinuating that was the reason you struggled, then again that would be a really dickish thing to say, but I imagine she thought it was funny and was probably "safe" to joke about because you now have your beautiful baby.

I'd probably assume the best unless she has form.

And congrats!

@Emz6103 She has form for making ‘funny’ comments. Years ago she actually did joke about whether DH was ‘putting it in the wrong hole’ which really hurt so this reminded me of that time. I’ve always been wary of her. I wouldn’t really call her a friend any more. More of an acquaintance

You’re being over sensitive which is fine, you have a newborn so lots of hormones and I’m guessing you’re knackered too. We all have our moments but she definitely didn’t mean anything by it.

Why bother to see her if you don't like her then?

First of all I can't believe some of the posts on here.

I think if your friend had shared that with you in 6 months or a year's time you won't have had the same reaction, and I'm sure your friend didn't mean to cause you any hurt. But you are still raw from the trauma of ten years of infertility, the repeated and relentless pain and trauma of fertility treatment and if you're anything like me still a little bit in shock and disbelief that your baby is here, and that it's YOUR baby. So you're absolutely not being unreasonable. Unless people have been through infertility it's so hard to even imagine how hard the entire experience is and that includes after a baby has arrived.

I've seen a few posts here saying "you have your baby now" "just enjoy your baby". For people having gone through a long infertility journey it's simply not that easy. If only it was.

Congrats on your new baby, please reach out if you'd like a chat, I know what you've suffered xx

@TomatoSandwiches I don’t know. We have a lot of shared history I guess, been friends for years and sometimes she can be lovely. But then she says weird things like this and I don’t know whether it’s me overthinking it or she’s just genuinely thoughtless

I struggled with infertility too and also got comments like “you want to get some beers down him” or “are you doing it often enough”. It’s gobsmacking what people actually think is ok to say.

You obviously have different sense of humours. If you can't tolerate or appreciate her as she is, then let the friendship drop otherwise you will always be wondering when she will next inadvertently upset you.