Is my friend being an asshole or am I too sensitive? Infertility related

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I’ve recently come out of a ten year battle with infertility and multiple rounds of IVF. I’m now miraculously a mother for the first and most like only time to a lovely one month old. I met up with a friend the other day for a coffee and she met baby for the first time, whilst we were chatting she told me about a news item she’d seen on YouTube about a couple struggling to get pregnant for years and they found out it was because he was ‘putting it in the wrong hole’. She found this hilarious. I don’t know if I’m just being ridiculous and sensitive but I felt like saying why would you tell me about this? It felt like she was mocking my struggles and pain. AIBU?

The fact that you're only replying to the very few people who agree with you, is quite telling. You don't seem to want to look outside your own view, so I'm not sure why you asked us the question.

Your acquaintance did nothing wrong. It wasn't about you.
You clearly have different senses of humour, and that's all.

Fair enough to those who say IABU, but if this was about death or miscarriage or cancer, I’m sure the answer would be different.

People might minimise those things but they don’t joke about it. Thanks for your take on it though. It does make me realise she probably didn’t think about how I felt, because the vast majority do just think it’s a simple joke. It does help to know she doesn’t have nasty intentions, she’s just thoughtless. But I don’t like it and I think it’s best I don’t pretend anymore.

I’ve got the picture now of what people think and so will leave this thread. Thanks for all those that replied.

I have a friend with some fertility issues, and I wouldn't dream of joking about somebody else's 'fertility' situation with her. That would be tactless and insensitive. Your friend sounds like a pratt, as do half of this thread.

You say she says weird things. But this example is not weird. Maybe you need to forget the friendship. You like her when she is being "lovely" but when she makes a joke you call her an arsehole. She will be well out of it I think.

I remember a particular sense of dislocation after DS was born - that I was in the mum's club now and everyone seemed to have immediate collective amnesia that I'd taken the long way round...whereas I still "knew" myself as someone struggling with infertility who happened to be one of the lucky ones who get to bring home a baby thanks to science.

Happy for you and for OP. I’m one of the ones who didn’t get to bring home a baby (and have made peace with that by now). but I’ve read that those who do sometimes feel something akin to survivor guilt.

People can laugh about any subject. There are no subjects off limits.
Just because someone is offended by something doesn’t mean it IS offensive. It is completely subjective.

That said, I think in this case it is a mix of your friend having very little tact and social awareness and you being a little over sensitive to what is, quite a funny anecdote.

I doubt anyone finds infertility a hilarious subject but that doesn’t mean there isn’t humour to be found somewhere.

I doubt anyone finds infertility a hilarious subject but that doesn’t mean there isn’t humour to be found somewhere.

If there is humour in infertility then it’s surely up to those suffering from it to judge what that is.

I appreciate it feels raw but I disagree, people do make jokes about death and cancer and other serious illnesses. Many people cope with dark times with humour. I assume she didn’t mean any harm but obviously you know her and it upset you so withdraw from her company. If your sense of humour isn’t the same as hers, you’ll end up feeling hurt and life’s too short. Congratulations on your lil one. Enjoy 😊