To be angry at the ableism here on MN

[QuitChewingMyPlectrum]

I don't see any threads saying cancer is over diagnosed. Or used as an excuse for something.
More and more ableism is showing up here targeting the ADHD and autistic community and I'm pig sick of it.
Overdiagnosis conversations involving those who have no lived experience (your kids don't count, sorry) suck.
You have ZERO idea what it's like to be us.
And you say WE lack empathy.

It's not the diagnosis that causes employment difficulties it is the autism and the lack of adjustments in society to include people who are different. Not all autistic people can or will want to work but plenty who do want to are excluded.

There was a thread on here a while back about someone being stalked by a colleague. He was autistic, and whenever she brought up how uncomfortable he was making her feel, she was shot down with he can't be confronted because of reasonable adjustments etc.
Sorry, but sometimes the diagnosis and the behaviours can not be ignored and let go because of a label.

For goodness' sake: not everything is the school's/teacher's fault. Parents and teachers need to work together.

Not according to OP. Parents should just shut up and not have an opinion because OP doesn't like it.

Do you have to go on every thread to talk about horrible autistic people?

Re the ADHD vs CPTSD issue at the start of this thread, I was talking to a professional recently who explained that where neurodiversity can result in sensory overload in what are generally perceived as everyday environments (e.g. shopping centres, town centres or even supermarkets), many neurodiverse people's systems and therefore fight or flight systems get triggered A LOT of the time... I feel this to be true of myself, and so wonder how it would even be possible to separate out ADHD and CPTSD for kids in many situations?

Some people believe the earth is flat. Others ignore science and deny climate change.

So much ignorance on here! The average NHS gp will not prescribe or diagnose adhd, it has to be a specialist. The pages and pages of my DS’s report are hardly evidence of coercion on my part! Also, medication must be obtained from a specialist and works particularly with adhd brain chemistry and is a stimulant (similar to speed) but has a calming effect on the adhd brain. It would have a counter productive effect on a child that did not have adhd, making them hyperactive. Please educate yourself before speaking.

Also, suggesting that my child has trauma and that explains his condition is offensive.

It's about as much of a label as asthma, etc is. Or are physical "labels" more acceptable?

Opinion shopping 100% happens. A gp friend if mine commented among a group of us that if you are willing to pay privately and you want a diagnosis, you will get on eventually if you talk to enough drs.

Have to say I see this quite a lot. I know friends who sought private diagnoses as, in their words, they wanted their kids to have extra time in public exams. I think the Guardian reported that 20% of kids get extra time in their GCSEs.

It does feel a bit unfair as some of the diagnoses I've heard about are rather questionable. I can think of one case where the child's behaviour was really quite unpleasant and manipulative. It's been really hard for the parents and school to manage as they trotted out their 'label' when their behaviour was challenged. As soon as they got a girlfriend, strangely it all stopped.

I also know plenty of parents who seem to want their kids to be 'different'. I understand that some people have a lifetime of struggle with autism or ADHD and they have my complete sympathy. But there's also some kids who are just naughty and the parents would prefer to attribute it to a label than deal with their behaviour. I'm not sure it does them any favours when it comes to getting a job.

Before the pile on, there are clearly genuine cases of people who are ND and they deserve all the support they're given. It's some of the marginal ones with a dubious diagnosis I'm referring to.

@sep135

I agree. There are children I know of whose parents have diagnosed them as ASD/ACHD who don't recognise it themselves and refuse to identify with the diagnosis. Children don't want to be different in a school social setting.

if the child themselves doesn't use the label and go into the workplace ignoring it is the condition still relevent? I fear in some cases (a minority) ADHD/A SD may be used through childhood as a means for the parent to explain some behaviours, remove personal responsibility for disruptive attitudes etc. and the diagnosis will 'disappear' when employment and romantic relationships are concerned.

It is this sub set of children where I think it is a stretch to confer a status of disability.

I know friends who sought private diagnoses as, in their words, they wanted their kids to have extra time in public exams

I find that hard to believe but, on the off chance its true, I am aghast at the short sightedness.

My child almost certainly meets the diagnostic criteria for autism. Ultimately they never completed the diagnostic assessment. It was a risk benefit analysis where is risk of diagnosis outweighed potential benefits for them.

This thread seems to imply that having a diagnosis is always beneficial, so beneficial that even those without the condition stand to gain from having it. It blows my mind. Discrimination exists. That "label", is seen by some (many?) as an invitation to discriminate or bully.

The list of circumstances where having a diagnosis works to you detriment is long but primarily (for me) having worked in health and social care my entire adult life I have witnessed so much discrimination in this field for people with ND. I don't mean jokey jokes about it (but that too, and yes I take appropriate action) I mean deep-seated systematic discrimination that is effectively state sanctioned.

Thats not the greatest example to use, asthma is frequently misdiagnosed, this happened to me personally, 30 years of using inhalers I didnt need and wondering why there was little effect.

I highly suspect my partner is the same.