Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it weird to stand outside a school at 3pm if I don’t have a child?

226 replies

Whatislifegw · 07/09/2023 15:35

Before you think I’m crazy! I have a dog who I want to expose to loud and busy environments and live very close to a school.

would it be weird to just stand or sit near the school at that time for my dog to work on being in that environment.

my dog is a very friendly and 6 month old German shepherd because he’s so big I want him to be able to behave around strangers and strange children.

(I have my own toddler who wouldn’t be with me) ideally in a few years I’d like to be able to do the school run when it’s my turn and bring my dog at the same time.

OP posts:
AGoodDayForSomebodyElseToDie · 07/09/2023 17:07

I frequently used to end up loitering around a primary school at pick up time on a horse, due to my poor time management and the traffic carnage of parents picking kids up. I always felt a bit awkward as the kids would be lining up to pat the nice (kid friendly) horsey, and I’m too much of a people pleaser to just bugger off.

It did work wonders traffic and kid proofing the horse though.

LizzieSiddal · 07/09/2023 17:08

@Whatislifegw it seems like a lot of people have had negative experiences which I completely understand but as a dog owner I want my dog to be absolutely perfectly behaved around children

I hope you are always going to keep your dog on a lead near children. I’m sick to death of dogs running towards my Dc, and the owner shouting “it’s ok, he’s friendly”. I don’t give a damn what you think your dog is, keep it in a lead so it is under control at all times.

TheHappyCarrot · 07/09/2023 17:09

I have to say I'm surprised by these responses, it's a puppy, not an alligator.

All these people who are petrified need to toughen up, reminds me of the Catherine Tate character that jumps at the slightest thing.

It's good all round to be exposed to things that you're going to encounter throughout your life, can't run from everything.

Barbiesback · 07/09/2023 17:11

It's not strange but it is dangerous. Imagine if your dog reacted to one of the primary school kids!

Stickly · 07/09/2023 17:14

I'm glad you've decided against this. I honestly think it would be insane. And that's coming from a large breed dog owner myself (2 actually ... ) literally just 2 days ago a German shepherd puppy lunged at my child as the owner had it at the school gates. Despite repeated requests to maintain a reasonable distance from the gates with dogs.

SerafinasGoose · 07/09/2023 17:17

OhmygodDont · 07/09/2023 15:42

Try a secondary school walk by at 3:15. Big loud teenagers not little kiddies.

Better still, don't use other people's children to train your dog.

Danascully2 · 07/09/2023 17:20

I have seen people doing this near one of our school entrances but the entrance is onto a footpath through a green space. So the dogs aren't really close to the children and there is plenty of space for everyone. I have no issue as long as they are on a lead and not running up to the children. Would be different if it was a school with only a small street entrance and v congested.

DeanElderberry · 07/09/2023 17:20

I'm a dog owner, and was very pissed off when another dog owner decided to use me and my dog to socialise her new pooch WITHOUT ASKING ME BEFOREHAND. She started following me around the wood and the car park and standing in front of us while giving orders to the dog. I told her it was unacceptable and she tracked me down via the village shop and showed up at my house (several miles away) to apologise (the shop were very apologetic afterwards, they'd assumed she was a friend).

btw, if she had asked I would have said no, I was looking after two elderly invalids and my life was complicated enough, the walk was my one little moment of me time in the day.

I'd say don't do it, or only do it by walking past. Other people have their own lives, they aren't teaching aids or dog toys.

BerfyTigot · 07/09/2023 17:26

This is definitely recommended in some of the new puppy books. I remember laughing with friends about it.

We took ours to Tesco car park on a Saturday morning - plenty going on there 😁

jannier · 07/09/2023 17:26

Our school had just put out a warning about a man hanging out around the school I guess it depends if you keep doing it a one off probably no regularly your going to be spotted not unheard of to lure kids with pets and for women to be used as safer

hermioneee · 07/09/2023 17:34

I think there are better ways to get him impeccably behaved around children than school gates. You need your dog to be trained to real life environments- so he needs to be comfortable in situations that you'll actually be in. If you don't have children why do you need him to be okay with 30 children all at once?
It's also called 'flooding' in behavioural training. There's no need for it. Well behaved, predictable children to begin with and work up to it. There is simply no reason to stand outside school gates unless you have a puppy that you need to get used to you picking up your child from school gates. And even then you'd pick quiet times first.

VeterinaryCareAssistant · 07/09/2023 17:37

TheHappyCarrot · 07/09/2023 17:09

I have to say I'm surprised by these responses, it's a puppy, not an alligator.

All these people who are petrified need to toughen up, reminds me of the Catherine Tate character that jumps at the slightest thing.

It's good all round to be exposed to things that you're going to encounter throughout your life, can't run from everything.

Well said!

Anxioys · 07/09/2023 17:43

I would think you were crazy. And I don't think you would get many supportive parents either

Chippy4me · 07/09/2023 17:44

There was a path right next to my DDs school playground and I quite often walked my dog past it.

There was high, secure fencing so none of them could touch my dog or vice versa but at break time there was a lot of screaming and laughing and energetic behaviour which is a great situation if you’re exposing your dog to loud, busy areas.

DinnaeFashYersel · 07/09/2023 17:46

Yes it would be weird and children aren't there to meet your training needs.

Go and hang a round a train station instead

HoneyPotts · 07/09/2023 17:46

So a woman sanding in public with her dog is a big no no. But a strange couple inviting children into their home to stroke a shy cat is ok?

Oh MN you are adorable!

DinnaeFashYersel · 07/09/2023 17:49

DinnaeFashYersel · 07/09/2023 17:46

Yes it would be weird and children aren't there to meet your training needs.

Go and hang a round a train station instead

To add

I'd honestly consider reporting an adult hanging around outside a school to the school or the police as a safeguarding concern.

eggandonion · 07/09/2023 17:49

I think hed be better walking past at playtime and past playgrounds on his lead so children aren't too close. Then depending on the streets around the school walking nearby at pickup time.
Don't be afraid of secondary kids...lots of them love dogs!
But keep him on his lead and keep an eye out for any kids running at him from behind. I met a very pretty gsd puppy earlier.

ohdamnitjanet · 07/09/2023 17:50

God no.

ICanBuyMyOwnBooks · 07/09/2023 17:51

Our school would ask you what you were doing. They don't trust any adults just turning up with a dog. It's not appropriate. They know some adults do it because being in the vicinity of the school gives them a veneer of respectability and they want to entice DCs to pet the dog, etc.

Also your dog isn't socialised or trained, from a safety pov, you're putting DCs at potential risk.
Go somewhere else.

Redrunnynose · 07/09/2023 17:55

I'm going to assume you are a middle aged man, will be wearing a mac, will invite children from the school to stroke your puppy.

Perhaps you could take some sweets for the children and take them off on little walks.

No alarm bells ringing with any of this. Completely normal behaviour.

Inappropriate and rude !

Perfect28 · 07/09/2023 17:56

What if the dog can't handle it and bites a kid?

WiddlinDiddlin · 07/09/2023 17:58

Ahh Mumsnet: 'Why don't people train their dogs to behave around children'...

Dog owner 'I plan on training my dog to behave around children'

Mumsnet: OH NO, FUCK OFF WITH YOUR DOG...

OP - as long as you can a/ remove dog from situation as necessary b/ ensure you're not so close as to overwhelm dog/be in peoples personal space c/dog is ready for this level of distraction...

Then go ahead. Staying 2 minutes from home is very sensible, much easier to ensure you're out for a short time, within your dogs capabilities and can return to a stress free environment quickly as necessary, than going further afield and then ending up out of your dogs depth.

A mix of loitering and moving is generally good - too much loitering can be frustrating, but I start the 'we don't always do anything exciting' stuff right outside my own front door so we can nip back in if necessary, and therefore my dogs are not automatically expecting immediate fun and games on my street.

Train in as many locations as you can - dogs generalise very very badly, so you'll need multiple locations and environments before your dog can generalise that 'this all applies everywhere'.

Final tip - don't ask for dog training tips in AIBU. You have a dog, therefore YABU pretty much all the time.

muddyford · 07/09/2023 17:59

I did this but explained to the mothers what I was doing. Puppy was sat next to me in the back of the car, looking soppy. At one point we had about a dozen primary-aged children making a fuss of him. Just mention to some of the parents. All mine were very understanding.

ICanBuyMyOwnBooks · 07/09/2023 18:02

It's not appropriate to do it at playtime either and regardless of whether a few parents say it's ok, the school could still report you and ask you to leave. Using dogs to build links with DCs is a known technique of predators. No school with a decent safeguarding lead would condone what you're suggesting.

Swipe left for the next trending thread