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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it weird to stand outside a school at 3pm if I don’t have a child?

226 replies

Whatislifegw · 07/09/2023 15:35

Before you think I’m crazy! I have a dog who I want to expose to loud and busy environments and live very close to a school.

would it be weird to just stand or sit near the school at that time for my dog to work on being in that environment.

my dog is a very friendly and 6 month old German shepherd because he’s so big I want him to be able to behave around strangers and strange children.

(I have my own toddler who wouldn’t be with me) ideally in a few years I’d like to be able to do the school run when it’s my turn and bring my dog at the same time.

OP posts:
Kwasi · 09/09/2023 06:36

Screamingabdabz · 08/09/2023 23:47

Jeez thank God my kids are past school age. No dogs should be anywhere near a school. Ten years ago you wouldn’t have had a single one, people sensibly left them at home. But now it seems selfishness is the order of the day and we all have to be inflicted by them everywhere - even inside the friggin’ place as ‘therapy dogs’.

Just no. Barking, jumping up, snarling, blocking the way. That’s what the selfish dog owners allowed at our school gates at peak kicking out time. Absolutely selfish and no consideration.

You are in that same camp op. Entitled with no thought for folks in the melee that don’t want any animals around them, let alone some big German shepherd ‘in training to be around kids’. Ffs.

Agree. I had woman in my village block me in the village Facebook group for telling her I didn’t appreciate that she let her dog pee on the children’s playing field. She said she can’t help where her dog pees. I asked if her dog peed in her living room! She then blocked me of Facebook but the parish council must have seen the thread, as signs soon went up saying dogs had remain on leads and couldn’t go to the toilet on the field.

Katy123456 · 09/09/2023 06:47

Rather than standing outside I'd choose a walk that walked around the school and closest play field/area at drop off and pick up. It gets rhe same results and will probably be easier than just standing there. If anyone asks just say honestly you have a kid who ill be attending in a few years and you want to get the dog used to the school routine.

JennyBee23 · 09/09/2023 07:12

Other peoples children are not training aids for your dog. Why not do normal things to socialise it like puppy classes and group walks?

Rachierach11 · 09/09/2023 07:22

minipie · 07/09/2023 15:42

Quite a few small children are scared of dogs, especially large ones so deliberately bringing one there when you don’t need to seems a bit off.

Plus as pp said you don’t know how he might react, school pick up can be loud and chaotic.

Not a good idea.

100% this!

Ffion21 · 09/09/2023 07:24

Take him for proper formal training? Training him around tiny kids where he is going to be unpredictable is a terrible idea as that’s a big dog who can cause serious injury if he gets over excited or overwhelmed.

My son is petrified of dogs. If we walked past he’d actively try to cross the road, but if your dog didn’t understand that or behave it could be problematic.

Great idea training him but I don’t think this is the right way to do it.

Frazzledstar1 · 09/09/2023 09:10

Can you time a walk past at letting out time rather than just standing there loitering. Despite your intentions it might come across as weird to staff/parents.

Mumoftworedheads · 09/09/2023 10:18

Whilst the majority in this thread think your request is weird and unreasonable. I completely disagree with them. You want dogs to be passive and to be able to ignore all environments. Dogs get excited in new environments and by exposing a puppy to these exciting environments early on and teaching them to be calm is the best thing you can do for all concerned. Sounds like you know what you are doing with the work you’ve already put in. So I’d been inclined to keep going, if you want to highlight what you are doing maybe get the dog or yourself a vest saying Dog in training.

KeepingItReal2017 · 09/09/2023 12:06

Quite selfish really. A lot of young children do not like dogs. Adding an extra big dog to their walk home from school for your own needs or selfish. Take the dog to puppy training.

KeepingItReal2017 · 09/09/2023 12:10

You were clearly in the way. Utterly selfish. No regard for others and how children may feel. And as for your other posts about the dog being off lead… I’m astonished. So many dog attacks these days and it’s idiotic behaviour like this.

Cazareeto1 · 09/09/2023 12:24

I can see why you want to desensitise your puppy, considering you will be doing school runs in few years. First I’d stand a bit away from the school to gauge ur dogs reaction to the noise and the children running and screaching after school. This way ur avoiding the inevitable that kids will see ur dog and want to pat ur dog. This may be overwhelming for you pup early on and cause some chewing of children. (Puppy excitement chewing of hands ext) that could get u and pup into hot water. So I’d stand a street or two away at first and build up to walking past at 3, then work up to sitting your dog nearer the school. Once the first few experiences of the noise and tail end of kids wanting to pat ur dog (they will some will ask some won’t some may grab ur dog for a hug, beware of this and how ur dog reacts to that from strangers) I’d recommend doing these things before or you may end up with the police at door if your dog gets frightened or overly excited. Remember take it slow and build up to being closer to school at 3. Bring lots of treats (for dog) and get ur dog to sit while kids come out, will stop the jumping up and about in the long run.

Noodles1234 · 09/09/2023 12:48

Not against exposing your dog to noise, but in front of a school is being unreasonable. The reason I say this before being shot down, I have seen so far outside my kids primary school dogs becoming overwhelmed by the noise and two dogs have bitten 3 children - 1 dog to 1 child from their own family. Then another dog on a different day bit two children both just walking past and hadn’t interacted with the dog. Both dogs were put down, they had been to the school gates many times before but snapped on one occasion. I felt for them as personally I think where the rails are dogs should be kept away as it can be sensory overload and kids sometimes want to stroke a tired / hot / panicky dog, in my mind it can be unfair to the dog.

outside a school is a crazy place for adults let alone some dogs. I would expose them to noise in a different way to maybe more adults making noise first.

If you do, then please stand well away from where the rails are as this area can get potty.

oobladay · 09/09/2023 12:52

A park with a play area could be a better shout. We have quite a few locally that have a fenced off area for the play equipment and lots of benches etc if you have anything similar. They're always popular with dog walkers around here. We did do one school run with our puppy when he was younger - never again!

Donetrying1 · 09/09/2023 14:12

Poor OP
lf you’re still reading this…you and your puppy sound lovely, l bet you wish you’d never asked your question.
There is absolutely no need for some of these responses…none at all.
l wish you every success with your puppy-l don’t think in your post you set out to upset, horrify or anger anyone.
😞

Zerosleep · 09/09/2023 14:46

Please don’t do that. Surely there are other opportunities to accustom your dog to loud noise. Much better options than outside a school.

YoBeaches · 09/09/2023 15:33

Your dog is a puppy for another 18 months to 2 years. Off lead training is fine but you need to remember they can and will run at any time as their interests and reactions develop.

As a dog owner, Ive never needed to hang around a primary school in order to train them. The thought wouldn't have crossed my mind. It's very weird that this would be your choice and if I saw you lingering several times outside my kids school without ever collecting any kids, I'd report you.

SnowWhiteAndTheTwoKids · 09/09/2023 15:43

Whatislifegw · 07/09/2023 15:46

I definitely understand the concerns and being a parent myself I’m wary around strange dogs and my child

he is generally very good lots of children play outside where we live and my dogs walks off lead with no issues (although I can definitely see the temptation to go over if they’re playing with a ball)

I definitely don’t want to upset anyone or end up on a Facebook pedo page.

I’ll probably just do a dog walk around 3pm one day without stopping I just wanted to work on him ignoring people and children

Most schools won't allow dogs on site - except guide dogs so your plan for future school runs with dog may be flawed.

Rottweilermummy · 09/09/2023 23:37

Standing outside a school to train your pup sounds a bit weird. I understand you wanting to train it re children and noises etc which is perfectly reasonable but you could easily take round local park by playground, will have same noises. it is important to socialise your dog and get it used to children totally with you on that. All the best

CelestiaNoctis · 10/09/2023 03:00

Yes. Also unfair as some people and children have allergies or fear of dogs.

JoBoJoBo · 10/09/2023 22:24

God no this would be a weird thing to do.

JoBoJoBo · 10/09/2023 22:27

I as an adult like dogs but am scared of German shepherds as was bitten by one as a child.Children are not training tools for your dog as they run jump and the dog could see them and attack if not used to them .Please take it to puppy class.

Kikisweb · 11/09/2023 07:08

Depends how close you get to the school, it's illegal to walk dogs off lead by school gates. I would ask that you don't, as my son and I are both cynophobic (May be spelt wrong, phobia of dogs) and do everything we can to avoid dogs. There are a lot of children at my sons school who are also terrified of dogs and there have been incidents with dog walkers off lead.

Idtotallybangdreamoftheendlessnotgonnalie · 11/09/2023 07:19

It's exactly what I did with our German shepherd, just sat on the verge next to him on a 5 ft lead a little way away from the school with a bag of treats to distract him any time he got a bit fizzy or silly.

Everyone had loads of space, people who don't like dogs could be well away from us, lots of kids came up to us and said hi to the puppy/gave him a treat. We've now got a relaxed, bomb proof dog who couldn't give a fuck about who is coming over to him.

The replies on this thread are absolutely fucking barking.

IndigoLaFaye · 11/09/2023 07:25

I think this depends entirely on how it’s done.
Will the dog be kept on a lead?
Are you going to actively be training him? (Rewarding for eyes on you, ignoring children and all the activity etc)
Are you going to start off slow and build up?
What are you going to do when a child wants to stroke dog, and what message does that send the dog about how exciting schools are? etc

Not weird but needs to be done with care

TheHappyCarrot · 11/09/2023 16:58

Why are there so many people who are terrified of dogs? Is it perhaps because so many owners don't bother to go to the trouble of training their dogs by putting them in certain situations and so they're so badly behaved?

Unlike the Op who is doing the training precisely so the dog is not reactive around children.

WhalePolo · 11/09/2023 19:37

@TheHappyCarrot

I think there is a better way to do it. Otherwise that’s a green flag for all dogs owners to ‘go to schools to get your dog used to children’. Some owners may be sensible - some may not. School drop off/pick ups are chaotic anyway without dog owners bringing their dogs to the mix.