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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cat sitter bringing her grandchild

160 replies

Mseddy · 06/09/2023 22:57

We've paid someone to cat sit for us for the week. Not used her before, was recommended by another cat sitter/dog walker who my friend uses as she was full. Not cheap, but that's irrelevant really.

Came and met us and the cats before we went, chatted to her for a while, she mentioned she looked after her grandchild who lived local, nothing more mentioned about GC in regards to visiting. One of the cats is on medication which he takes happily off a spoon, she was fine with this.

Qué first day we are away and she says cant get cat to take medication because he won't come near. Long story short this goes on for 3 days and my neighbour has had to step in to do it. My neighbour knows the cats well and usually does feeds/meds for us if we are away, but she's had major surgery recently hence outsourcing so to speak! I spoke with my neighbour and she said she wasn't surprised cat wouldn't come as woman had a child with her playing in the garden.

We've looked on CCTV in our garden tonight and her 4 year old grandchild is chasing after the cat and even screamed at him when he meowed at her. My 2yo DD has a lovely little wendy house that is mine and her pride and joy, we love it and it's special. She's just turned 2 the day before we flew on holiday so it's got a fair few new not yet played with toys in there. The cat sitter and her grandchild have been playing in the Wendy house completely without our permission and I honestly feel a little bit violated! I paid this women to come to our house, feed the cats and spend half an hour sat with them twice a day. Not to use my house as a play cafe for her grandchild.

So aibu for wanting to message her and telling her to leave the key and the money that would cover the remaining days and piss off out of my house? My neighbour is having to come daily to give the cat his meds anyway so she could throw some food in their bowl and I'd rather spend the remaining money on her!

OP posts:
LittleBrownJug · 11/09/2023 22:54

Bravo to your DH! & to you for naming Gary’s brother!

My cat is called Brenda. She came that way. I tried to change it but it didn’t take. She’s definitely a Brenda.

Catsmere · 11/09/2023 23:02

Hang on, this bloody woman (or her grandkid) wore your clothes? She should never get a pet sitting job again for that alone, never mind that she allowed the kid to terrorise a cat to the point of refusing his essential medicine. Naming and shaming reviews are the least of what she deserves, though she seems utterly shameless.

Original poster
Mseddy · 11/09/2023 23:16

Catsmere · 11/09/2023 23:02

Hang on, this bloody woman (or her grandkid) wore your clothes? She should never get a pet sitting job again for that alone, never mind that she allowed the kid to terrorise a cat to the point of refusing his essential medicine. Naming and shaming reviews are the least of what she deserves, though she seems utterly shameless.

I feel I need to caveat this with explaining the shoes. DH was furious because he loves them (mostly because he understands my utter distain for them) and she wore them and left them in the garden to subsequently end up in a storm. But they are crocs that he had left by the bifolds, Greggs embellished ones. So I can almost forgive her for thinking it was ok to wear them because who in their right mind would want to look after them right? But he wanted it adding into the message because she left them outside and that's the bit that's unforgivable.
And as i'm sure you are all on tenterhooks to know, unfortunately they did survive the storm and have been rehoused back Infront of the bifolds. Men ey!

OP posts:
Catsmere · 11/09/2023 23:43

Even though they were Crocs, they weren’t her shoes! Not her property! Even without leaving them outside, she had no right to wear them at all. Makes me wonder what else she tries on in other people’s houses, tbh. The more I hear about her the worse she gets, not that anything could top her allowing Gary to be terrorised and not giving him his meds. She doesn’t sound like she knows or cares one jot about looking after a cat.

ifIwerenotanandroid · 12/09/2023 00:12

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 11/09/2023 20:43

Whatever, can't be arsed arguing. Not worth the hassle!!

She's a real charmer, isn't she...

Show quote history

I agree, but I meant, does 'can't be arsed arguing' mean:

(a) I'm not talking to you any more & you can whistle for your money

or

(b) OK, I give in, you can have your money back?

DoItAgainPlz · 12/09/2023 00:29

Personally I don't thinkbIbwould have messaged the "play cafe" and would maybe have just briefly mentioned the new toys in the wendy house being left in a mess, if i chose to mention it at all.

I think I would have maybe been a bit more gentle with the references to "a child" when talking about her granddaughter.

But it depends on whether you were more eager to get your money back or get it off your chest.

I agree you had every right to send that message and she sounds incredibly rude.

DoItAgainPlz · 12/09/2023 00:30

When looking for a new cat sitter, could you post on a public local facebook page or something similar?

Hopefully someone recommends her and you'll have an oportunity to leave a bad review in response to that.

jlpth · 12/09/2023 00:49

What absolutely terrible behaviour from the cat sitter. And when you called her out, she said she cba to argue - well, she actually cannot possibly have any defence for her entitled, selfish actions. So many people are just shits these days.

FictionalCharacter · 12/09/2023 01:44

I'm just back to say I've fallen in love with Gary 😁 He sounds so sweet and I'm glad he's OK now.

richteaftw · 12/09/2023 07:10

Can we have a picture of Gary? He does sound wonderful!

Original poster
Mseddy · 12/09/2023 07:17

ifIwerenotanandroid · 12/09/2023 00:12

I agree, but I meant, does 'can't be arsed arguing' mean:

(a) I'm not talking to you any more & you can whistle for your money

or

(b) OK, I give in, you can have your money back?

Show quote history

Option A I think!

@DoItAgainPlz I had been alot more calm about it in the initial message I sent her, but I was so annoyed by this point and pretty sure I wasn't seeing any money back. So I probably did just want to say my peace as it's all I had left to do really.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mseddy · 12/09/2023 07:20

These are the two of them. Gary is the white one and Gus is the tabby. (Im not fussed about being outed, I've shared my DDs very uncommon name under this username so I don't think I had a dot of anonymity anyway)

Cat sitter bringing her grandchild
Cat sitter bringing her grandchild
OP posts:
Catsmere · 12/09/2023 07:27

@Mseddy they're beautiful! So much floof! I love tabbies.

richteaftw · 12/09/2023 07:28

Beautiful 😻

Pottyberry · 12/09/2023 07:40

So beautiful! @Mseddy

supertiredallthetime · 12/09/2023 08:09

This is why cultivating good neighbour relations is so important. Indeed my neighbour's cat and she feeds mine. I know you've done that and needed a back up plan this time.

Sometimes the dates clash with neighbour and I get my sister or a friend to pop up for those days. We have a new neighbour over the road who has a cat and we are in talks about helping each other too.

I've never liked the idea of strangers coming in when we are not there and this saga has put me off even more! She should be refunding you all the money!!

Original poster
Mseddy · 12/09/2023 08:19

supertiredallthetime · 12/09/2023 08:09

This is why cultivating good neighbour relations is so important. Indeed my neighbour's cat and she feeds mine. I know you've done that and needed a back up plan this time.

Sometimes the dates clash with neighbour and I get my sister or a friend to pop up for those days. We have a new neighbour over the road who has a cat and we are in talks about helping each other too.

I've never liked the idea of strangers coming in when we are not there and this saga has put me off even more! She should be refunding you all the money!!

I suppose this could be considered drip feeding so apologies if it is. The reason we have only now just started needing a cat sitter is because of a change in family circumstances. My mum used to cat sit them for us 99% of the time with my lovely neighbour doing the odd one night here or there if we went and stayed at my parents (2 hours away). My mum can't sit them as often now since my Dad passed away a few months ago as she has cats that need looked after if she comes to ours to look after mine. Hence wanting a cat sitter as it doesn't feel fair to be asking my neighbour as frequently as we will need these days. Plus we took my mum away on this holiday with us for the first time as she hadn't been able to get away when my Dad was sick.

So we don't really have the network of friends/neighbours round here to that extent from a cat sitting point of view as we never really needed it until now.

I'm going to spend the next few weeks looking for another cat sitter and paying them to do as hoc days so the cats can get used to them and visa versa and hope we end up with a nice one who we can all build a decent relationship with

OP posts:
Luxell934 · 12/09/2023 08:20

I have a cat, it would bother me that she brought her grandchild without asking. As my cat hates noisy children and would be unsettled each time they visited which is the opposite of what I want when I hire a cat sitter.

That being said her granddaughter playing in the Wendy house is hardly violating, that’s a really extreme reaction. No I wouldn’t be pleased either but more for the fact the granddaughter shouldn’t be there at all, not because she went into your daughters play house.

BruceAndNosh · 12/09/2023 08:41

Ask at your vets about cat sitters. Ours actually works at the other village vets, not ours.

Batalax · 12/09/2023 08:47

I’d be furious.

What did the person say, who recommended her?

LoonyLois · 12/09/2023 09:03

Just caught up with this, I think her attitude is appalling! What an absolute CF

Your boys are gorgeous by the way!

Original poster
Mseddy · 12/09/2023 11:42

Well I stand very much corrected on her ghosting me! She's just posted an envelope with the cash covering the 4 days I cancelled her for through the letter box. Maybe she's not a full 100% CF, maybe like 98%

OP posts:
SunRainStorm · 12/09/2023 11:56

Mseddy · 12/09/2023 11:42

Well I stand very much corrected on her ghosting me! She's just posted an envelope with the cash covering the 4 days I cancelled her for through the letter box. Maybe she's not a full 100% CF, maybe like 98%

The least she could do but glad she did it

MeridianB · 12/09/2023 13:13

Oh wow, very glad about the money, OP. Well done you.

But best of all, the photos of your two boys are so gorgeous. I want to snuzzle them both! Thanks for sharing.

Iminpatchinghell · 12/09/2023 14:27

I wonder if she read this post and saw the overwhelming response to her CF’ery 😂