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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cat sitter bringing her grandchild

160 replies

Mseddy · 06/09/2023 22:57

We've paid someone to cat sit for us for the week. Not used her before, was recommended by another cat sitter/dog walker who my friend uses as she was full. Not cheap, but that's irrelevant really.

Came and met us and the cats before we went, chatted to her for a while, she mentioned she looked after her grandchild who lived local, nothing more mentioned about GC in regards to visiting. One of the cats is on medication which he takes happily off a spoon, she was fine with this.

Qué first day we are away and she says cant get cat to take medication because he won't come near. Long story short this goes on for 3 days and my neighbour has had to step in to do it. My neighbour knows the cats well and usually does feeds/meds for us if we are away, but she's had major surgery recently hence outsourcing so to speak! I spoke with my neighbour and she said she wasn't surprised cat wouldn't come as woman had a child with her playing in the garden.

We've looked on CCTV in our garden tonight and her 4 year old grandchild is chasing after the cat and even screamed at him when he meowed at her. My 2yo DD has a lovely little wendy house that is mine and her pride and joy, we love it and it's special. She's just turned 2 the day before we flew on holiday so it's got a fair few new not yet played with toys in there. The cat sitter and her grandchild have been playing in the Wendy house completely without our permission and I honestly feel a little bit violated! I paid this women to come to our house, feed the cats and spend half an hour sat with them twice a day. Not to use my house as a play cafe for her grandchild.

So aibu for wanting to message her and telling her to leave the key and the money that would cover the remaining days and piss off out of my house? My neighbour is having to come daily to give the cat his meds anyway so she could throw some food in their bowl and I'd rather spend the remaining money on her!

OP posts:
PhilippePhiloppe · 07/09/2023 00:07

SunRainStorm · 07/09/2023 00:06

Allowing her grandchild to torment the cat she's being paid to look after is just cruel.

Tell her to leave the keys and money.

I'd also let her know you have CTV footage of her allowing her grandchild to upset your cat and play with your daughter's things and if the money isn't left you'll be posting it to the local Facebook groups.

And give feedback to whoever referred her to you so she doesn't send anymore business her way.

Honestly, it's not a difficult job to get right. No excuse at all.

All of this

(why does reply not quote any more?)

Catsmere · 07/09/2023 00:14

Did reply used to quote? I always have to use the Quote feature in the three dots section. Mind you I’ve only been here a few months.

TheNightTroll · 07/09/2023 00:16

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Salome61 · 07/09/2023 00:18

So sorry to read this. I used to pay a 'friend' to look after our cat when I was away. I was very unhappy to see her advertising her forthcoming weekend away on FB - when she was supposed to be looking after my cat - and just as I was going to message her, she messaged to say 'don't worry, I've made arrangements for Pandora'. She'd subcontracted the job to her friend - that I'd never met. I didn't use her again.

Catsmere · 07/09/2023 00:21

Bloody hell! That’d be the end of the friendship for me. Inviting a stranger into my home to be responsible for my cat’s welfare? Fuck no.

Hawkins0009 · 07/09/2023 00:22

ŁadnaPogoda · 06/09/2023 23:56

For those of you who can’t get your cat to take medicine off a spoon, and it’s either liquid or can be crushed or removed from a capsule, Lick-E-Lix are like kitty crack.

YANBU, OP. Poor cat, being chased.

My friend can vouch for the lick e lick, they're heaven apparently

verdantverdure · 07/09/2023 00:22

I wouldn't mind the Wendy house if the cat was happy and well cared for but frightening the poor cat is bang out of order and would give me the rage.

You pay someone to take care of your cat and instead they are harassed and tormented.

Not on.

KissyMissy · 07/09/2023 00:45

Definitely not on!
I'd be furious

Totallyterrific · 07/09/2023 00:55

Id be furious. Tell her to do what the night troll should also do - Disappear!
I would want a full refund of the money you've paid (because she hasnt done what you've paid her to do) and a written apology tbh. Appalling way to behave.

MCOut · 07/09/2023 00:57

YANBU If she really needed to bring her granddaughter she could have asked you. Id be upset too if a pet sitter brought a child which harassed my cat.

momonpurpose · 07/09/2023 01:15

You are not unreasonable at all! She has gone completely far!

Mamai90 · 07/09/2023 01:17

I genuinely wouldn't be bothered about the woman bringing her young grandchild and the child playing with my DDs toys briefly when they are there. I don't see why you would feel violated, that seems massively OTT.

Though I'd be really pissed off that said child was scaring my cat!

Catsmere · 07/09/2023 03:16

I dunno, I'd have been really angry when I was little if some kid I didn't know was playing with my toys in my house, never mind teasing and tormenting my cat ...

Irridescantshimmmer · 07/09/2023 03:33

Yeah, you are right OP to ask your nieghbour to take over as the cat sitter is doing more harm than good.

No wonder your cat won't take his medicine, the kid has stressed him out.

evuscha · 07/09/2023 04:50

Oh hell no, definitely YANBU. I have 2 cats, and a 4yr old, so technically they’re used to kids but they still get intimidated by other noisy unruly kids. Definitely unacceptable.

(I have had my share of poor cat sitters so I do sympathize)

OneLittleFinger · 07/09/2023 06:46

If I were your neighbour I'd be upset if you didn't sack.her and ask me, especially if I'm having to go in anyway.

Definitely NU. It's awful! Speak to neighbour, get her confirmation then sack the woman. I'd also tell your friend, ans tell her to tell her dog walker as well. How can someone like animals let them be terrorised in their own home?

Notsuredontknow · 07/09/2023 06:48

Stories like these really make me wish I had cctv. Thank goodness you were able to see what she’s been up to! Definitely message her and stop her visits. Absolute piss take. You sound like a really responsible cat owner btw. Bet you can’t wait to get home and give him a cuddle!

Doingmybest12 · 07/09/2023 07:02

I wouldn't mind a cat sitter bringing their grandchild along if they respected the place , I wouldn't mind them having a quick play in the garden or with toys left out. I think you are being precious about the Wendy house . But if the child is unkind to the cat then that's not ok so on that basis end the arrangement if your neighbour is able to help.

ittakes2 · 07/09/2023 07:24

This is unbelievable CF - I would contact the first pet sitter who recommended her and explain the situation and ask if she might have some time to step in for 1 visit a day. It gives you an excuse to out this woman but I am also concerned as your neighbour has had a major operation. She might doing the meds as a favour to you because she feels obligated for the cats sake but she might not really be up to it and too polite to say.

HeDoesntWannaBangYouSomebodyHangYou · 07/09/2023 07:36

You sound like such a good cat owner!

Agree with all the rest - sack her off. I'd be absolutely appalled if my kids treated an animal in such a way, and they wouldn't have done that even at 2.

Agree with PP though - make sure your neighbour is ok to help and well enough.

BananasForBrains · 07/09/2023 08:23

That’s awful OP. I would be so angry and upset. My rescue cats are TERRIFIED of even the sound of children (we don’t have kids ourselves). I would definitely be letting the person who referred her know what happened, because she’s tarring her own business by giving clients to someone so unprofessional when she’s busy, particularly if she is dishonest and doesn’t leave the remainder of the money for the sit she doesn’t complete.

EvilElsa · 07/09/2023 08:27

Oh and I'd be buying lovely neighbour a massive bunch of flowers (or wine etc) to say thank you. Thank god she is there to step in.

Original poster
Mseddy · 07/09/2023 08:54

Thanks everyone for your responses. Can confirm lick-e-lix is the kitty crack that makes him take his meds with no drama. He's anyone's when he sees that spoon! Which is why I thought the whole situation was odd and looked into it further.

100% agree with the posters saying I'm being precious about the Wendy house. I know it's just a wendy house, but last night watching the video of her screaming at the cat instantly got my back up and then I was furious (after a fair few Pina coladas) that she was then getting to enjoy my DDs lovely toys.

I'm going to have a chat with my lovely neighbour this morning. I'm pretty sure she would tell me if she wasn't feeling up to it, or her husband would pop in and do it (he's done it before once or twice so the cats know him too). The other reason I didn't ask them do to this week, apart from her surgery, is because I don't want them to think we didn't explore new options and just expected help from them now our situation regarding my mum looking after them like she would usually has changed.

And yes, I absolutely cannot wait to get home and give them both a cuddle!! The cats, not the neighbours! But lots of wine, chocolate flowers coming their way!

OP posts:
Hummingbird89 · 07/09/2023 09:30

YANBU! Cheeky cow! Tell her to do one!

FictionalCharacter · 07/09/2023 09:54

I don't think you're being precious at all about the Wendy house. You were paying the woman to look after the cats, she didn't have your permission to bring a child over to play with your stuff.
It really isn't normal for someone who's being paid to provide a service to help themselves to the use of their client's belongings, even worse to bring someone else to the house to use them.