Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect visitors to take their shoes off?

279 replies

marymungoNminge · 06/09/2023 15:19

Just that really! Do you take off your shoes in the home or keep them on?

I'm pretty house proud and I like a tidy home, not a germaphope by any means but I take pride in keeping my home fresh and clean. (Well as much as I can with a toddler!) I think it's really rude to walk into someone else's home with outside shoes on where there's spit, shit, dirt and whatever else. If I had wooden floors maybe that'd be different.

Someone came for an appointment today walked in with their shoes on and left dirt on our stone coloured carpet. WIBU to tell people to remove their shoes if they walk in with them on? DD(2) takes shoes off and puts them on the shoe rack. I just think it's gross but maybe I'm the odd one! It's just how I was brought up!

OP posts:
Elmerchecks · 07/09/2023 10:02

Keep some disposable overshoes in the house so you can offer them to people. Some trades people carry them around on jobs

SomeCatFromJapan · 07/09/2023 10:20

Pavements are so filthy. There's all the dog piss where I live plus unfortunately rather a lot of unpicked-up dogshit. Central town is absolutely disgusting. Human piss, spit, litter, sticky spillage everywhere. Plus the local factors gardening team chuck glyphosate around with gay and reckless abandon once a month.
The thought of any of that on my wool carpets, where my bare feet go before getting into bed, is an unpleasant one.
I don't have a dog but quite a few dog owners I know will wipe their dog's paws before it enters the house after a walk which seems sensible.

As I said I don't necessarily expect people to full-on remove their shoes but I do expect shoe covers to be put on - if a tradesman refused I would refuse him entry but that's never happened yet.

Scylax · 07/09/2023 10:49

Yanbu, it’s gross. I’d hope people would offer! We keep a few spare pairs of slippers people can wear if they want.

fruitstick · 07/09/2023 10:52

@marymungoNminge I can send you photos if you like

fruitstick · 07/09/2023 10:53

And just like any other body part, that is entirely up to me whether I wish to keep that covered or not.

You aren't entitled to see my feet and neither can you demand I show them to you.

Also my feet are often dirtier than my shoes. I don't think we'd be friends!

OhmygodDont · 07/09/2023 10:55

If you going into my carpeted rooms then shoes off. If you’re not then you can keep them on.

The only problem is I now have a house with shoes everywhere 😅 because the children put shoes on in the garden then leave them at the back door as they come back in and then get a different pair next time they go out.

NeonSoda · 07/09/2023 10:56

I grew up on a farm and with pets so I am just used to the idea of wearing shoes in the house.

I don't wear them most of the time, but I don't have any problems putting them on and walking out to the garden or whatever. And I wouldn't tell people to take them off unless they were obviously dirty.

Whingebob · 07/09/2023 10:56

fruitstick · 07/09/2023 10:53

And just like any other body part, that is entirely up to me whether I wish to keep that covered or not.

You aren't entitled to see my feet and neither can you demand I show them to you.

Also my feet are often dirtier than my shoes. I don't think we'd be friends!

If you want covered feet, you must be wearing socks anyway?

Also, your feet are dirtier than outside?😲

Kanelsnegl · 07/09/2023 10:58

Was a funny culture shock to me when I moved here from Scandinavia. Back home no one has carpets really and everyone takes their shoes off and it would be rude to just walk in with your shoes on. I've never been able to get on board with the shoes inside here and especially not with carpets 🤢.
However, I know that's how a lot of people do it here so I don't ask people to take off their shoes in my home here despite the carpets. I don't see it as rude anymore, just odd.
Most take theirs off when they see I take mine off though.

NeonSoda · 07/09/2023 10:58

As an aside - I'm pretty sure nobody wants my manky verucca'd feet on their floors after years of working in the leisure industry. 😂

fruitstick · 07/09/2023 11:00

@Whingebob not if I'm wearing closed toe sandals, no. And sometimes I wrap my trainer liners round my insoles rather than wear them as socks.

I like being barefoot and am often in my garden barefoot, will not always put shoes on if I need to put something in the bin etc. sometimes I even go outside barefoot in the rain.

fruitstick · 07/09/2023 11:03

Also can I ask ...

I usually do take my shoes of in other people's houses, but if I'm doing that, I'm also curling my feet on the sofa.

Is that OK?

Roto15 · 07/09/2023 11:03

iamwhatiam23 · 06/09/2023 15:42

Imo its irritating and annoying to be asked but I would do as asked in someone else's home! I would never feel comfortable demanding someone remove their shoes in my home!

I’m with you. I always ask if I should take them off but really hate having to 😂We have mostly solid floors so I hate going barefoot at home and almost never take my shoes off. In summer I wear my sandals all day and I’m winter I change into slippers because it’s so cold.

Somanycats · 07/09/2023 11:08

Home visiting professional here and we are not allowed to take our shoes off at all for our safety. Think used syringes, urine vomit yada yada. Neither are we allowed to wear slip on shoe covers as they reduce traction if we have to run away in an emergency. If you don't want our shoes, you don't get our visit.

MimiSunshine · 07/09/2023 11:10

Ducksinthebath · 06/09/2023 15:30

I think it just depends what you're used to.

In the time and place I grew up it was considered a very working class trait but I suspect as a general rule, most people are shoes off at home for the family and guests.

But is that because you / your parents would have been the ones scrubbing the floors to clean marks or dirty out of flooring afterwards and would in fact have had ‘help’ to do that?

it’s often commented that the upper classes never take shoes off but they’re not the ones cleaning up afterwards are they? The type of houses they live in often have boot rooms too so outdoor shoes would be swapped to nice clean ones

Original poster
marymungoNminge · 07/09/2023 11:15

fruitstick · 07/09/2023 10:53

And just like any other body part, that is entirely up to me whether I wish to keep that covered or not.

You aren't entitled to see my feet and neither can you demand I show them to you.

Also my feet are often dirtier than my shoes. I don't think we'd be friends!

But you can keep them covered with socks? If you don't want to show your feet, as you said, up to you, but I still won't allow dirty shoes on my lovely carpet, whether your bodily autonomy over your trotters matters more to you or not.

And no, I don't think we could be friends. I don't receive feet pics of my friends but whatever floats your boat!

OP posts:
Original poster
marymungoNminge · 07/09/2023 11:15

fruitstick · 07/09/2023 10:53

And just like any other body part, that is entirely up to me whether I wish to keep that covered or not.

You aren't entitled to see my feet and neither can you demand I show them to you.

Also my feet are often dirtier than my shoes. I don't think we'd be friends!

Also, why are your feet dirtier than shoes?

OP posts:
Whingebob · 07/09/2023 11:16

fruitstick · 07/09/2023 11:00

@Whingebob not if I'm wearing closed toe sandals, no. And sometimes I wrap my trainer liners round my insoles rather than wear them as socks.

I like being barefoot and am often in my garden barefoot, will not always put shoes on if I need to put something in the bin etc. sometimes I even go outside barefoot in the rain.

I'm a shoes on but I won't lie, I also do this sometimes 🫣

Original poster
marymungoNminge · 07/09/2023 11:17

fruitstick · 07/09/2023 11:03

Also can I ask ...

I usually do take my shoes of in other people's houses, but if I'm doing that, I'm also curling my feet on the sofa.

Is that OK?

If you usually take your shoes off anyway then what's the problem?

And I have no issue with people putting their feet up on the sofa. Its there to lounge about on. As long as there's room for everyone to sit, be my guest!

OP posts:
Original poster
marymungoNminge · 07/09/2023 11:18

Somanycats · 07/09/2023 11:08

Home visiting professional here and we are not allowed to take our shoes off at all for our safety. Think used syringes, urine vomit yada yada. Neither are we allowed to wear slip on shoe covers as they reduce traction if we have to run away in an emergency. If you don't want our shoes, you don't get our visit.

That's different, I wouldn't expect someone of your profession to take their shoes off.

OP posts:
fruitstick · 07/09/2023 11:25

@marymungoNminge because I'll take my shoes off if I feel at home, but expecting or asking me to take my shoes off has the opposite effect and makes me feel unwelcome. I actually find it quite insulting and degrading.

I'm happy to wipe my feet on the map to ensure my shoes are clean, and obviously if it's wet or muddy then fine, and I wouldn't refuse but it would irk.

It makes me feel that my presence on your house is an irritation to you and I am a mess to be cleaned up after when thankfully I have gone.

Reading some of the posts on this thread have confirmed this to be honest.

fruitstick · 07/09/2023 11:27

I also find the shoes off/plastic overshoes people are also people who refer to people as 'tradesmen'

Original poster
marymungoNminge · 07/09/2023 11:37

fruitstick · 07/09/2023 11:25

@marymungoNminge because I'll take my shoes off if I feel at home, but expecting or asking me to take my shoes off has the opposite effect and makes me feel unwelcome. I actually find it quite insulting and degrading.

I'm happy to wipe my feet on the map to ensure my shoes are clean, and obviously if it's wet or muddy then fine, and I wouldn't refuse but it would irk.

It makes me feel that my presence on your house is an irritation to you and I am a mess to be cleaned up after when thankfully I have gone.

Reading some of the posts on this thread have confirmed this to be honest.

It would irk you to take muddy shoes off on light cream carpet?

That's rude!

OP posts:
runrabbit77 · 07/09/2023 11:39

I always ask if I should take my shoes off, I thought that was just common courtesy?

Elmerchecks · 07/09/2023 11:40

fruitstick · 07/09/2023 11:27

I also find the shoes off/plastic overshoes people are also people who refer to people as 'tradesmen'

Trades people refer to themselves as Trades people. There is nothing wrong with the word trade. I have a trade too

Swipe left for the next trending thread