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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect visitors to take their shoes off?

279 replies

marymungoNminge · 06/09/2023 15:19

Just that really! Do you take off your shoes in the home or keep them on?

I'm pretty house proud and I like a tidy home, not a germaphope by any means but I take pride in keeping my home fresh and clean. (Well as much as I can with a toddler!) I think it's really rude to walk into someone else's home with outside shoes on where there's spit, shit, dirt and whatever else. If I had wooden floors maybe that'd be different.

Someone came for an appointment today walked in with their shoes on and left dirt on our stone coloured carpet. WIBU to tell people to remove their shoes if they walk in with them on? DD(2) takes shoes off and puts them on the shoe rack. I just think it's gross but maybe I'm the odd one! It's just how I was brought up!

OP posts:
Original poster
marymungoNminge · 06/09/2023 21:09

Hbh17 · 06/09/2023 20:52

Would you ask the King to take off his shoes if he came to your house? I think asking people to remove their shoes is rude, and I don't want to see people's socks or bare feet - yuck! Floors are meant to be walked on and we have always been happy for people to have shoes on indoors.
(And yes, it probably is a class issue too..... ).

Yeah, I would tbh. I don't think anyone is better than anyone.

OP posts:
Original poster
marymungoNminge · 06/09/2023 21:09

KnittedJimmyChoos · 06/09/2023 21:08

It's unclean practices I've witnessed.

What have you witnessed? Genuinely interested!

OP posts:
DiscoBeat · 06/09/2023 21:13

We're very much a shoes-off family and I hope our shoe rack and socked feet give a good hint. It does for most but I never ask people to remove them. On the rare occasion they don't I just choose that time for a regular carpet shampoo later.

DrNo007 · 06/09/2023 21:14

we always take our shoes off when going into other people’s houses and expect it of people who enter our house. There was a German study done some years ago that found traces of toxic pesticides on the floors of houses where people kept their shoes on, and no pesticides in houses with a shoes off policy. The roads and pavements are sprayed with pesticides.

Whingebob · 06/09/2023 21:16

Greensleeves · 06/09/2023 15:33

I think it's rude and unwelcoming to ask guests to remove their shoes. It's putting your comfort ahead of others'. If I'm worried someone has sullied my carpet, I just clean it when they've gone. Some people feel very inhibited about taking shoes off in front of others.

Even if they tread mud inside and soil your carpet? There aren't enough eyeroll emojis for you🙄🙄🙄

DiscoBeat · 06/09/2023 21:16

We don't take ours immediately off, although we do change into slippers quickly. If you are bringing in big food shop you might go back to car 3 or 4 times, so you'd need to carry on wearing shoes.

We all have sliders by the front door, so can shuffle them on and off each load.

hittingtheshelves · 06/09/2023 21:16

My family: shoes off.
Visitors: its polite to say 'oh don't worry about that' if they reach down to take off their shoes.

Haveallthesongsbeenwritten · 06/09/2023 21:17

Yes shoes off

Wsmi · 06/09/2023 21:19

ohboohoo · 06/09/2023 20:30

This is why much of the world thinks the British are a bit revolting.

Show quote history

Exactly, other cultures think people in this country have poor personal and domestic hygiene standards.

carouselthoughts · 06/09/2023 21:22

Never had a problem down south.

Up north I constantly have entitled worksmen refusing and treading mud through my carpets. I've had to enforce shoe covers at some points.

I pray on my carpets
I have small children
I don't want dirty shoes on my floors full stop.

I think it's rude not to respect the house of people you visit and I'm so relieved when I see the workman etc is Asian, because they understand Atleast

Whingebob · 06/09/2023 21:23

toomuchforonewoman · 06/09/2023 17:19

If you are going to ask me to take my shoes off, I will stay on the doorstep thanks. I think it is horrifically rude asking people to ask people to remove their shies before entering your home. nah keep yer ridiculous cream carpets pristine love.

I'd be breathing a sigh of relief that your not coming in with shoes. At least you're respectful enough not to intrude.

PersephonePitstop · 06/09/2023 21:26

marymungoNminge · 06/09/2023 21:06

@PersephonePitstop I haven't lived a sheltered life. Very much the opposite, thank you very much. Don't be so rude on such offensive assumptions. Part of my upbringing is why I am like this about a clean home.

You asked Are you or your friends not clean? and you’re calling me fucking rude and making offensive assumptions. 🤦‍♀️

Pots and kettles springs to mind 🙄

LolaSmiles · 06/09/2023 21:30

If I'm visiting a house with work then our policy is that shoes stay on. It's about being able to leave quickly should we need to.

I've never asked anyone visiting for appointments such as midwives, health visitors or mobile hairdressers to take theirs off.

Original poster
marymungoNminge · 06/09/2023 21:33

carouselthoughts · 06/09/2023 21:22

Never had a problem down south.

Up north I constantly have entitled worksmen refusing and treading mud through my carpets. I've had to enforce shoe covers at some points.

I pray on my carpets
I have small children
I don't want dirty shoes on my floors full stop.

I think it's rude not to respect the house of people you visit and I'm so relieved when I see the workman etc is Asian, because they understand Atleast

I think especially when cultures come into it, you have to respect the home.

I don't care if it makes people uncomfortable. I feel like my home is my sanctuary, and to others, where they pray etc. people need to respect that, not ruin it with traipsed muddy shoes!

OP posts:
Original poster
marymungoNminge · 06/09/2023 21:36

@PersephonePitstop

Well, you said you wouldn't walk bare foot on carpets as it's so unbelievably gross. So I wondered what type of minging carpets in your circle you have for it to be so dirty especially if they've worn shoes inside.

You said I've lived a sheltered life because I look after my carpets and have a no shoes rule. Take your pots and kettles back love, seems like you need them.

OP posts:
givemeasunnyday · 06/09/2023 21:41

This question appears on MN every couple of months!!

Where I live, not the UK, most people wear shoes inside. Some don't. Neither is wrong, however I most certainly would not ask anyone to remove their shoes before entering my house, nor would anyone else I know. It's really not hard to clean the floor - not that I have ever had to - and as for germs etc., well all I can say is that I am very rarely ever ill, and yes, I walk barefoot on the carpets.

PersephonePitstop · 06/09/2023 21:41

marymungoNminge · 06/09/2023 21:36

@PersephonePitstop

Well, you said you wouldn't walk bare foot on carpets as it's so unbelievably gross. So I wondered what type of minging carpets in your circle you have for it to be so dirty especially if they've worn shoes inside.

You said I've lived a sheltered life because I look after my carpets and have a no shoes rule. Take your pots and kettles back love, seems like you need them.

You said I've lived a sheltered life because I look after my carpets

No, I didn’t love.

givemeasunnyday · 06/09/2023 21:45

DiscoBeat · 06/09/2023 21:13

We're very much a shoes-off family and I hope our shoe rack and socked feet give a good hint. It does for most but I never ask people to remove them. On the rare occasion they don't I just choose that time for a regular carpet shampoo later.

You shampoo your carpet just because someone comes inside with shoes on????? I've heard it all now. Unbelievable.

Regholdsworthswaterbed · 06/09/2023 21:52

carouselthoughts · 06/09/2023 21:22

Never had a problem down south.

Up north I constantly have entitled worksmen refusing and treading mud through my carpets. I've had to enforce shoe covers at some points.

I pray on my carpets
I have small children
I don't want dirty shoes on my floors full stop.

I think it's rude not to respect the house of people you visit and I'm so relieved when I see the workman etc is Asian, because they understand Atleast

Yeah definitely make it a North/South divide. How ridiculous 🙄

Regholdsworthswaterbed · 06/09/2023 21:58

PlumPeony · 06/09/2023 18:47

Will ask everyone, including tradesman, either to take shoes off or I have covers.

I had a cleaner say once she will have to keep shoes on at kitchen because she's mopping the floor. Needless to say, that was their first and last time.

I bet she was relieved

Olika · 06/09/2023 22:00

Where I come from you always take shoes off.

X6hfyib4ms · 06/09/2023 22:03

If you're there on business, take shoes off and have appropriate attire underneath, ie don't walk around a house in bare feet.

If we're meant to be friends no. I'll take my shoes off in winter as they're probably muddy but in the summer I'd rather not walk around in care feet.

If you ask me to take my shoes off, mental note, we'll never be friends. But it's OK as I don't think I'd want to be friends with the OPand visa versa.

I think the chilled out types and the Mrs Hinch types find each other in life 🙃

ShawleyNot · 06/09/2023 22:05

Always ask the hosts. We allow shoes downstairs but not upstairs.

maddening · 06/09/2023 22:08

Yanbu!

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 06/09/2023 22:14

Shoes off.

UNLESS you have a dirty downstairs and hairy dirty dogs running around in which case the guests should be allowed to keep shoes on. Or if they're going straight through the house to a back garden party.