To ask if people use wedding registries?

[WeddingRegistry]

I'm getting married in 2 weeks and have a wedding website with an online registry. While we have a mechanism for gifting cash I've also got a registry that took me many hours to make, got a good mix of gifts on there from £10 right up to big ticket items! Also suggestions for people who don't want to buy a specific 'thing' e.g 'plants for the garden' (not really plants but you get the idea)

Did anybody appreciate my effort in making life easier?

Nope, out of 40 guests only 3 have bought/reserved stuff.

Maybe people will think about it last minute, but what if people turn up with multiple toasters?? Or champagne flutes? Of course I'll write everyone a nice thank you note etc etc but still.

Chief of which... future H's parents... who made such a big fuss about the registry because 'friends will want to buy you gifts' and then crickets. If I'd known that nobody would care I wouldn't have bothered.

So tell me, people of MN... do you use registries, or just buy what you want?

FYI of course the day is to celebrate but I think I'm just annoyed at how this was made out to be a big deal and wasted so much of my time.

I don’t think I’ve ever been to a wedding with a gift registry, most people already have a house with everything they need so they ask for money.

The only wedding I’ve been to that wasn’t money towards honeymoon if you wanted was a registry of about 5 items and you could put anything from a fiver towards that item and it told you how much had already been put towards it. It worked really well and the couple got just the things they wanted and no excess!

I've been to weddings with gift registries before, but I don't recall being organised enough to buy anything from it more than 2 weeks in advance....

Every single wedding I've been to has had a gift registry (and I've been to several weddings every summer for maybe 10 years). But this is because I'm a christian and these were all weddings of people from church - so none of them were living together before marriage. They were mostly renting with friends and about to move into a new home with nothing with their new spouse.

DS and DDiL used one for their recent wedding. They already had a lot of stuff but will move to a bigger place in Spring when DGCh is born. They included items for the new house as well as traditional crockery etc. About 2/3 of the items were purchased, with groups of work friends clubbing together for some big ticket items. A few (mainly family) gave money. They had about four gifts not from the register.

Not a fan of the gift registry myself. Whilst you spent ages doing yours, picking things you'd like to receive, many shops/companies do a genetic list and then the bride/groom receive vouchers to that value- with an added extra as their incentive for doing their registry there at all.
I personally find the whole idea quite vulgar and old fashioned (sorry,) and think people should just be thankful for what they're given- weddings are a dreadful expense to the guests as it is, without being shown a list of gift suggestions.
Equally awful in my opinion is those poems you get in the invitation, trying to be cute about it, but actually requesting cash from guests!
However, now you've made the list- just enjoy what you are gifted from it- don't worry about it too much! You'll get loads in gifts/cash- people are super generous.
Congratulations and enjoy your celebrations!

Almost all the weddings I've been to have had a registry or asked for cash/vouchers.
I like a registry because who wants to get something people don't want. Especially the bottle of champagne and picture frames to add to the rest.

I am disorganised though almost always leave it til a few days before and end up giving random stuff no-one else has picked.

I've never been to a wedding with a registry that I was aware of. Most people live together before marriage and don't need the stuff.

And what the fuck is a mechanism for giving cash?

You care about your wedding more than anyone else does, it'll be the same if you have a kid if you don't already. The hours you put into into it is a hilarious thought.

We had one with wrap it. It was a huge success. Over £800 was spent innit.
Then they went bust and we lost the lot

You’re not married yet. Save the moaning about your presents until when you actually receive them.

We used the Wedding Shop because some people still wanted to buy us a physical gift but as we’d lived together we had most things so only had ~20 gift items (new cutlery, fancier plates) and then the majority of guests gave cash. I’d usually give cash but I also check if there’s a gift list as well so the couple get things they actually want.

I think you'll get mostly cash but registries are still a thing so some people will give you things from it and nobody will think it's odd.

I wouldn’t use a registry, I’d give money unless I didn’t want the couple to know how much I’d spent or felt I needed to put in more thought. In either case I wouldn’t buy a gift they’d suggested as they’d obviously know the cost and it’s not exactly any more thought than money to buy a gift they’ve listed.

i got married recently and had an online registry- most gifts were bought the night before!

We had one we used Amazon and Prezzi I think it was called. I didn’t have much on it and I think the dearest thing was £50 but people kept asking my mum for it so I pulled it together. My now husband and I although lived together were in a fully furnished house so we had nothing. So got a lot of things for our new house that we moved into round about the same time.

This is really odd logic... Why is it more thoughtful to buy the couple a gift that you think they might like or need, than something that they've specifically asked for and presumably do need and/or want?

No I wouldn’t use it. I don’t do wedding gifts or give cash especially when I’m asked for it. So grabby

How joyless @TedMullins.

Maybe thoughtful wasn’t the right word, I guess I mean personal and specific to my relationship with the bride/ groom/ couple, so for example if we always socialised by eating out and I knew they loved the idea of a posh meal out I might want to buy them a voucher for a Michelin star restaurant or something. If I wasn’t confident I could give a personal, thoughtful and well received gift of my own accord I’d probably just give cash, I just don’t see that I would ever buy from a list which requires no thought when cash is also easy to give and requires no thought but will mean they can buy their preferred thing on the list rather than mine.

Lol. I resent having gifts demanded of me. The kind of wedding that has a gift list is likely to be the type it costs a lot to attend - stately home in the middle of nowhere, transport costs etc. Having people there yo celebrate with should be enough! A gift list or poem asking for cash is a cast iron guarantee I’d turn up with a nice big box of fuck all.

That's fair enough. I guess I was thinking of my own experience, similar to the OP's, where many guests who didn't really know us as a couple very well (for example, our parent's friends/relatives we don't see very often) didn't buy anything from our gift register and we ended up with lots of pottery/crystal bowls and vases/glassware - none of it matching and all rather too large to store in the tiny flat we lived in at the time 😄

100% agree with this.

I don't understand what you mean by "crickets" in this instance?
Anyway, gift lists or registries are quite useful for people who don't know how much cash to give or feel awkward about it. There's another thread running about that at the moment.
I'd buy a gift, if it were me.

I've never bought from a registry or gifted cash when it's been asked for, it tastless and grabby.

I was thinking about this the other day, gift registries seemed to be a thing up to about 2010 then they completely disappeared from my circle anyway. I think they’re just out of fashion and people find it easier to give cash/vouchers.