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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find the overly nostalgic social media posts about school and parenting in general quite toxic?

105 replies

NeedMyDress · 05/09/2023 15:28

I have noticed a growing trend now where every parent is almost expected to lament their children starting school, or starting a new school year. Complete with doorstep photos and a post about how quickly time goes etc etc.

Since when did we all have to publicly break down over our children growing up and the passing of time?

I am a parent and I do have nostalgic moments but also try to celebrate the milestones, I feel like now it's the accepted norm for parents to publicly weep over each passing year. Does anyone else find it a bit much?

OP posts:
GrazingSheep · 05/09/2023 15:31

No. Because I don’t have instagram or facebook.

coxesorangepippin · 05/09/2023 15:31

Yes it's all a bit sickly

There was thread on here yesterday about someone who was planning on taking both sets of grandparents for the first day of school

I'm mean, come on!

chopc · 05/09/2023 15:32

Nope. I am the live in the moment kind of person and whilst being happy about my DC progress I am conscious that this family life I enjoy so much will soon come to an end.
So for me, each school year is bitter sweet

GingerIsBest · 05/09/2023 15:32

I think you're missing the point of the door step photos. Those aren't lamenting the passage of time, they're usually about being so proud of their grown up children. And yes, of course the parent might feel a little moment of emotion seeing it, but I wouldn't call it "lamenting"

Sidslaw · 05/09/2023 15:32

well, I am 60 and still treasure the "doorstep photo" my father took of me at this stage in my life. I don't think it is remotely recent, or more common now, than it ever has been

Original poster
NeedMyDress · 05/09/2023 15:33

One friend in particular keeps asking how I'm feeling about my DC starting school complete with sympathetic head tilt - if it was just once I wouldn't think about it but it's almost as if she's just waiting for me to start crying!

OP posts:
gamerchick · 05/09/2023 15:33

It's always been like that. Long before the internet with cameras that you had to take the film to a shop to be developed

JamSandle · 05/09/2023 15:34

I find it sweet. I'm not a parent but can understand why it would feel emotional.

Original poster
NeedMyDress · 05/09/2023 15:34

To be clear it's not people taking photos of their children that annoys me, it's the sad emotional posts that seem to accompany many of them.

OP posts:
Perhapsperhapsto · 05/09/2023 15:34

Your social media is the issue - don’t follow anyone who you don’t want to see stuff like this from.
Much as inwould love to personally check in with all the friends and family I have around the world, I don’t have enough time.So Iike to see updates from them about key family and child moments - new schools, hols, etc

you’ll find it less annoying just following people you know well - and I honestly don’t mind if my cousin does the ‘ I can’t believe my baby is off to college’ type post because I can’t believe it either.

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 05/09/2023 15:34

This isn't new. I think it's normal for most to feel a weepy nostalgia.

Comedycook · 05/09/2023 15:35

Agree.

Maybe I'm an absolute monster but I feel mainly relief at my kids getting older. I enjoy them becoming more independent and me slowly getting my life back. All this "slow down time" stuff...I'm like, speed it up, I want to go on a round the world cruise!

GingerIsBest · 05/09/2023 15:35

Well, I was a little surprised to realise this year that DS is really properly and truly at high school now. I know, you'd think I'd have figured it out. And I posted a picture of him looking hilariously grown up and tall with a corresponding wording. But maybe it's tone - I don't think anyone reading it thought I was lamenting his growth. More just marvelling at it! :)

samuelclemens · 05/09/2023 15:36

Hmm I suppose thinking back to my own childhood (I’m 30 so primary school was late 90s to early 2000s, not that long ago really) I can’t remember my mum making as big a deal about milestones, first school day etc

I saw a TikTok the other day where the poor mum was finding it really hard to come to terms with her youngest starting primary school as she’d been a stay at home parent for quite a few years and used to always having a child at home. I remember feeling the opposite when my youngest started school- really happy to have the school days to myself and finally have some time to myself! Like properly excited for it 😂 Not in an overly selfish way, but I’d spent my 20s bringing up 2 small children with a small gap, I was ready for some me time.

otherwayup · 05/09/2023 15:37

coxesorangepippin · 05/09/2023 15:31

Yes it's all a bit sickly

There was thread on here yesterday about someone who was planning on taking both sets of grandparents for the first day of school

I'm mean, come on!

Utterly selfish, just awful.
Can you imagine how difficult it would be for staff if all 20 plus children brought 6 adults with them?!
Over 100 adults!! So unsettling for new starters, why do people have to make such an unnecessary fuss? Is it just for photos and social media? It definitely doesn't benefit the poor child!!

Perhapsperhapsto · 05/09/2023 15:38

With every step of my children getting older and more independent I feel my day to day getting a little easier but I also massively miss the sweet little toddlers and cuddly kids they were too.
Looking back is all about being able to appreciate stuff like that, without it being tainted by the memory of not having enough sleep etc tantrums that had you close to the edge at the time are now funny anecdotes to be told to embarrass a teen.

my advice would be - unfollow people you don’t really want life updates from and if that still doesn’t work then just don’t look at their pics til the start of term is over.

Amwondering69 · 05/09/2023 15:39

Love seeing all the little smiley faces in their uniforms Really don't understand how you interpret these pics the way you do TBH .
Never thought of these posts as whiney.

DinnaeFashYersel · 05/09/2023 15:39

Since when did we all have to publicly break down over our children growing up and the passing of time?

I've never seen anyone publicaly break down about this.

I have seen lots of lovely doorstep photos annually of freshly scrubbed children heading off for a new school year.

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 05/09/2023 15:40

Sidslaw · 05/09/2023 15:32

well, I am 60 and still treasure the "doorstep photo" my father took of me at this stage in my life. I don't think it is remotely recent, or more common now, than it ever has been

Like many things I think social media makes these things look much more obvious than they did before

Parents have always commented on how old their children are now, can't believe they're going into X year etc. And lots have taken pictures of them going to each new stage. I have photos of me in the same place going into Infants, Juniors, secondary, 6th Form, Uni, starting a job...

padsi1975 · 05/09/2023 15:40

I feel simultaneously happy that they are growing up and need me less and quite sad that they are gowing up and need me less. I don't like these emotions but I do feel them. I see photos of them as babies and almost feel grief. Would love to be shut of these feelings! I wouldn't personally rubbish how people feel about their children growing up.

phoenixrosehere · 05/09/2023 15:41

Perhapsperhapsto · 05/09/2023 15:34

Your social media is the issue - don’t follow anyone who you don’t want to see stuff like this from.
Much as inwould love to personally check in with all the friends and family I have around the world, I don’t have enough time.So Iike to see updates from them about key family and child moments - new schools, hols, etc

you’ll find it less annoying just following people you know well - and I honestly don’t mind if my cousin does the ‘ I can’t believe my baby is off to college’ type post because I can’t believe it either.

Exactly.

I find it odd people get annoyed by such things when nothing is stopping them from hiding or unfollowing the person. Heck, you can just look at the pictures without reading the posts and keep scrolling.

Perhapsperhapsto · 05/09/2023 15:43

‘All this "slow down time" stuff...I'm like, speed it up, I want to go on a round the world cruise!’

mmm, big kids bigger problems though. That may not necessarily happen. Friend has had her planned ‘freedom’ seriously hampered by becoming a grandmother at 50 after her 17 old son got his girlfriend knock up.
Another couple are very much in the weeds with a daughter who has an earring disorder.
another friends teenager had a party while he was away for work and he’s realised the little bugger can’t be trusted at home alone…

No wonder people are getting mushy over the littler bros and sisters in their oversized new school uniforms!

Bingus · 05/09/2023 15:44

Makes me laugh when you get emotional posts and photos....of an awkward looking 16 year old who clearly wishes their parents would quit with all this nonsense!

I wonder if the parents will still be posting photos by their front door of their digs at uni when they're 18, 19, 20 !!

Carebearstare12e · 05/09/2023 15:44

gamerchick · 05/09/2023 15:33

It's always been like that. Long before the internet with cameras that you had to take the film to a shop to be developed

Yep. It just wasn't on the Internet.

MsMarch · 05/09/2023 15:44

I LOVE this time of year - all the pictures of fresh faced smiling kids and gushing parental posts. You can feel the pride just oozing out of those posts.