To find the overly nostalgic social media posts about school and parenting in general quite toxic?

[NeedMyDress]

I have noticed a growing trend now where every parent is almost expected to lament their children starting school, or starting a new school year. Complete with doorstep photos and a post about how quickly time goes etc etc.

Since when did we all have to publicly break down over our children growing up and the passing of time?

I am a parent and I do have nostalgic moments but also try to celebrate the milestones, I feel like now it's the accepted norm for parents to publicly weep over each passing year. Does anyone else find it a bit much?

I agree with ComedyCook’s previous post. I also find it’s dependent on how much support families have. I am a lone parent with no support and am quite happy to wave my child off to school!!!

I agree op.
Got a friend whose daughter is starting secondary this week and that popr child is riddled with anxiety because her mum keeps being so sad about it on socials and in real life.

I tend to ignore the "we're all in this together" tone from "mum" influencers because generally they have indeed been at home with their preschoolers barring a minimal number of nursery hours. There are 9 kids from DS' nursery going to his school and I can tell you that at least 6 of us have been picking up at 5pm for the last 2 years minimum. Not every day of the week - but DS has been out of the house for 27 hours a week since he was one and school is what, 32?

Same.

I think parents are just excited about their child's milestone.

The OP sounds like quite a sad & miserable person tbh

Even if you find it a bit much it definitely isn't 'toxic'.

I like back to school photos, cute seeing all my friends and families children grow up. My eldest started secondary school today and although I was nervous and emotional, I held it together and breezly dropped him a suitable distance from school so he wouldn't be embarrassed by me 🤣 I saw loads of parents walking their kids through the gates and wondered if I was being too blaze. I practically drop kicked my younger 2 off at primary school though, poor younger siblings, I've been there and done that, not arsed 🤣

People are just proud and want to share it. If you don't want to see it, either scroll past or just don't use social media. That's literally what it's there for.

‘Toxic’ is a bit over dramatic.

It’s actually illegal to describe something as ‘a bit much’ instead of ‘toxic’ on the Internet.

You don’t have to engage. Switch off.

Ah yes. I'd forgotten the change of rules which came into effect some years ago.

The toxicity comes from the idea that starting school is a terrible event that all proper mothers must dread as we should all want our children to remain young forever and by our sides 24/7. It's a completely ridiculous sentiment that is starting to permeate motherhood, that we should all partake in some kind of grief and if we don't signpost it we aren't feeling it.

As you said it’s an idea. Like most things ,you don’t have to follow or agree with such ideaology if you don’t want to nor should you feel forced. Such sentiment has always been around and was expected not too long ago and thankfully people don’t have to pretend to agree with it if they do not want to. You have just as many parents on SM that openly admit that they count down the days and celebrate their children going back for a new school year with many other parents agreeing with them.

‘Comedycook · Today 16:41

I don't think it's healthy for the kids either. We're raising a very entitled generation and if we mark every single occasion with balloons and sobbing, they will think the world revolves around them.
Please. That is said about every new generation. The same was said about us Millennials when I was in uni.’

gen X here - pretty sure we were told WE were the most entitled generation… and my Dmum remembers her elders
despairing over her 60s generation with their short skirts, long hair and casual sex ..

OP, do you even KNOW what the word toxic means??

It's just normal to openly express (selective) vulnerabilities these days, especially on the social media.

I cried about the prospect of my 2 year old starting school yesterday. It's a big thing! Especially when it's your first and you're not used to them being away from you 5 days a week.

I've never seen a "sad" post about people's kids starting school. I've seen loads of the doorstep pictures and I think it's just a nice way to celebrate a milestone in your child's life. The only nostalgia I've seen seen has been quite tongue in cheek.

I'm more irritated by the endless complaining and judging of other people's social media on here. Constantly going on about how much they hate what others put on their Facebook/Insta feeds, with lashings of stealth snobbery and sneering at people celebrating their marriages/birthdays/children's milestones etc. I find the judgement far more toxic than any of the posts.

As has been said ad nauseam, if you dislike the feeds that much there are ways to avoid them, otherwise live and let live.

Each to their own 🤷‍♀️
I absolutely don't care what anyone does with their own children

I have family spread round the UK so social media is a great way of keeping them in the loop with everything going on. I know a lot of my relatives love seeing updates about the children. However I actually probably use it the most, I always go back and look through our pictures and what we've been upto it's I guess like an online photo album for me and I hope one day the kids will like to look through it too.

I do feel sad my daughter is starting secondary tomorrow. It’s been weighing heavily on me. No gushy FB posts but I worry about the commute as she will be walking on her own. I worry about speeding drivers etc. I haven’t let on though but I’d be lying if I said I’m thrilled about it. I did feel this way with my son too when he went up to secondary and I felt better after a few weeks.

YABU for describing the situation as toxic in your thread title. Apart from being overused as a word, and a short cut to actually thinking, it is best reserved for situations that are damaging to people.

This made me laugh. Why is language so dramatic these days I mean saying something is toxic when it clearly isn't is just over dramatic!

Then stop following those people social media is what you make it

I do actually agree with your thoughts themselves but not the social media bit

I focus on fond memories and the moment and not finding endless drama's but I don't get that from other people on social media as I don't follow them

I would delete all these people from fb if you're not keen on their posts. It doesn't bother me in the slightest, but if you don't like it then do some blocking

I really don't get it either. As a teacher I never got to take our DS to school , ever (thanks DM) and i never got the tears at end of year productions. Each of the big milestones I was just excited as to what his next step was going to be.

I no longer have Facebook Instagram, etc. I can't stand it.