Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To pretend to be my husband?

60 replies

pontipinemum · 04/09/2023 17:03

I've been trying to sort an issue with an online supplier. I decided to just pretend to be my husband in order to make sure they would talk to me. Gave my name ''David'' think very much so a mans name.

The guy on the phone clearly didn't believe me, (there is no mistaking I am a woman by my voice), and said, can I confirm this is MR DAVID Smith which I just said yes. He couldn't really say well I don't believe you are a man so he had to proceed with the call as if I was DH.

More so a what do you think not an AIBU

YABU - That's bad to pretend like that
YANBU - Got the job done. No harm

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 04/09/2023 17:10

Well done. I hate the fact that the people we pay money too will only deal with DH. Why is it beyond them to deal with two people who can be named on an account 🤷🏼‍♀️

EffortlessDesmond · 04/09/2023 17:13

Because DH's name is unisex when shortened, I just say I'm XxxxDesmond. Mainly when I need to change the registration on the car's tag.

Malapataraso · 04/09/2023 17:15

This is hilarious, though I’m weeping that there’s even a need to do this. But good for you.

Simonjt · 04/09/2023 17:15

We do this all the time, we’re both men, despite that I always get asked “Is the Mr S JT?” Yes yes it is, I just sound like a 12 year old asian lad.

anotheropinion · 04/09/2023 17:16

It's an unexpected benefit of "live chat" on websites too. I had to pretend to be my teenage child to discuss their bank account: no probs

Frabbits · 04/09/2023 17:18

If the agreement/whatever is in both your names then you should be able to talk to them using your actual name.

If it's an agreement with a supplier and your husband, of course you can't pretend to be your husband. That would be fraud.

dudsville · 04/09/2023 17:18

"Yes yes it is, I just sound like a 12 year old asian lad." 🤣@Simonjt .

OP, you're my new hero, this is brilliant, i shall do this.

Wendysfriend · 04/09/2023 17:21

I do this often. Well not speaking but emails and live chats. All of our utility bills are in dhs name, some will allow me to add my name but they won't deal with queries with me. So I pretend to be him. Tbf even though he pays the bills, I do most of the setting up, getting offers, looking for assistance if something goes wrong.

It's a pain having to wait for him to be on a day off before he can ring places so I just pretend to be him, I have all the info and I know what I'm enquiring about.

HectorSalamanca · 04/09/2023 17:23

Yes. I've done this a few times myself. The first time was an issue with a joint bank account. We had moved house and I had updated my new address online but my husband hadn't and they froze the account.

I phoned in work and they said they had to speak to him.

I explained he was away and I was in work so unable to get hold of him.

In the end I just said oh hang on he's just walked through the door, I put on a bit of a deeper voice and I knew she didn't buy it, but what was she going to say 🤷.

It was a revelation and I've done it a couple of other times now.

Janieforever · 04/09/2023 17:32

I’ve done this. I thought everyone did.

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 04/09/2023 17:33

This is fine @pontipinemum of course, as long as you're not pretending to be your husband for nefarious purposes - to find out personal and private information that he would not want you to know etc. But if you're just trying to sort something out, (that's something to do with the two of you, or he has asked you to sort,) then of course, you're not being unreasonable to pretend to be him.

I have got quite a deep voice, (think a Rula Lenska type voice,) and I can switch to sounding exactly like the man at the drop of a hat. And I have pretended to be my husband numerous time to try and sort stuff out for ourselves and for him. I do quite a lot of the life admin, but sometimes the person/company I am talking to wants to get his permission to discuss something with me.

Comedycook · 04/09/2023 17:35

DustyLee123 · 04/09/2023 17:10

Well done. I hate the fact that the people we pay money too will only deal with DH. Why is it beyond them to deal with two people who can be named on an account 🤷🏼‍♀️

Will they though? Who do you mean? If they have to speak to both account holders, than fair enough...but I'm struggling to believe they will only deal with your husband?

Laiste · 04/09/2023 17:36

The guy on the phone clearly didn't believe me, (there is no mistaking I am a woman by my voice)

YANBU - Got the job done. No harm

It didn't in itself ''get the job done'' though, did it? If he didn't believe you.

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 04/09/2023 17:47

Comedycook · 04/09/2023 17:35

Will they though? Who do you mean? If they have to speak to both account holders, than fair enough...but I'm struggling to believe they will only deal with your husband?

Show quote history

I have to admit, in 35-ish years of being with my DH, I have never been asked to speak to him only - when it's been anything 'joint.'

SmudgeButt · 04/09/2023 17:48

I have the opposite problem in that I have a fairly deep voice for a woman coupled with a name that most people assume is one for a man. I've had a few phone calls go dead silent when I correct them about my name and say that I am NOT Mr Butt but Ms. They prob think I'm mid trans or something.

FeatherBlack · 04/09/2023 17:48

One of our utility bills has dh and my name on it. All the bills forever have had both our names on. I set up the account, I manage it. I have my phone number on it, my email. They ring me looking for him. I say no you can't speak to him. If you want to deal with this household you can speak to me.
They look at the bills, say sorry, decide they will speak to me after all. Then we sort out whatever needs sorting. Then next year, same thing happens again.
I only stay with them because they have the best offers.

FeatherBlack · 04/09/2023 17:49

Meant to answer your actual question, I say, in those circumstances, whatever gets the job done...

WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 04/09/2023 17:54

FeatherBlack · 04/09/2023 17:48

One of our utility bills has dh and my name on it. All the bills forever have had both our names on. I set up the account, I manage it. I have my phone number on it, my email. They ring me looking for him. I say no you can't speak to him. If you want to deal with this household you can speak to me.
They look at the bills, say sorry, decide they will speak to me after all. Then we sort out whatever needs sorting. Then next year, same thing happens again.
I only stay with them because they have the best offers.

It's both unfathomable - and utterly outrageous isn't it, that this still happens in 2023?! Shock

MartyMcFlysPurpleUnderwear · 04/09/2023 18:01

I have never done this myself but I have worked in call centres. We were always told that if someone said it was them and passed other security questions then we just had to take their word for it that it was them 🤷‍♀️. So if the account name was under Mrs Susan Potts and the person on the other end with the deep voice said it was them then there was nowt we could do 🤷‍♀️.

Davros · 04/09/2023 18:23

I've done this before. I just said I was him and thought "go on, challenge over whether you think I'm a man or a woman". Not allowed these days...

Original poster
pontipinemum · 04/09/2023 19:26

FeatherBlack · 04/09/2023 17:48

One of our utility bills has dh and my name on it. All the bills forever have had both our names on. I set up the account, I manage it. I have my phone number on it, my email. They ring me looking for him. I say no you can't speak to him. If you want to deal with this household you can speak to me.
They look at the bills, say sorry, decide they will speak to me after all. Then we sort out whatever needs sorting. Then next year, same thing happens again.
I only stay with them because they have the best offers.

I recently applied for a gov scheme thing. I put my name as adult 1, followed by DH, DS. The cards were issued under DH's name. I was not impressed!! We also recently changed electricity company and I specifically asked for both our names to be on the bill so I have an easy to get proof of address, guess who's name is not on the bill.

Stupidest one was my aunt phone a utility company after gran died. They said they could only deal with the account holder...... they were so unhelpful. My aunt just called back, pretended to be gran and closed the acc.

OP posts:
EffortlessDesmond · 04/09/2023 20:05

I quite often claimed to be DMIL after she was diagnosed with dementia to deal with utility companies. It was simpler than explaining powers of attorney to a Philippino call centre. On the odd occasion it didn't work, I escalated and escalated the calls until I hit a level of competence, at which point I explained that they needed a bypass system for family members managing contracts for people with dementia. DMIL latterly could not manage an automated caller menu with three choices, much less carry out the reset tests to reinitialise lines and signals. I must have wasted a 40 hour working week all told trying to get her phone sorted. I will never, ever deal with TalkTalk, ever again. Never encountered such unhelpful customer service teams.

Duttercup · 04/09/2023 20:09

We've bought and sold two houses with me signing everything as my husband so I think yours is a fairly minor incident.

gibegobble · 04/09/2023 20:18

Yes we bought a house in DH's name (reasons why) and we dealt with an online solicitor, I did the whole conveyancing process pretending to be him 😂 I even set up an email address [email protected] o m
So that I could have full access and the emails wouldn't get mixed up with anything in his own inbox, I answered every email and uploaded and sent back every document signing all the emails off Mr Husbands name 🤣

It still makes me chuckle now!

Globules · 04/09/2023 20:23

You sound like this is the first time you've done it.

Pretended to be XH phoning companies several times during our 20 yr marriage. It was easier than continuing to nag him to do whatever needed to be done.

"Yes, this is Mr Glo Bules" "Like I said, I can confirm this is Mr Glo Bules"

I felt for the people speaking to me. They knew I was lying but could do nothing about it.

Swipe left for the next trending thread