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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Minor celebs wife being rude in pub

386 replies

cattreatsanddragrace · 04/09/2023 09:28

Went to a country pub yesterday with my partner. Nice little place in the Surrey countryside, part of a chain, not fine dining. Very busy as the weather was really good, some stressed looking teenage girls trying to serve everyone. Kids play area in the garden and a bar in the garden area for drinks. We were sat on the patio attached to the restaurant.

A minor TV celeb, his wife, and another couple were sat across from us. The wife of the minor celeb complained a few times (that I heard).

First time: That one of the starters came out fractionally behind one of the others. (It was busy, there were four of them, the waitress can only carry two plates?!)

Second time: that the prawns in their prawn cocktail were inedible. (To be fair, I'd let this complaint slide as I didn't eat the prawn cocktail. It could have been bad). The waitress apologised and had a new dish made for them.

Third time: and this is the one that got me. The mains came, and the waitress went to put the plates down. The wife of the celeb laughed and stopped the waitress, and told her that "you don't serve plates from that side" aka the waitress was stood on the wrong side of her putting her plate down. She made the waitress go round the other side and put her plate down. This wasn't a silver service Michelin starred restaurant where you might expect such things. Just a standard pub.

So my (lighthearted) AIBU - do I sell this story to the Daily Mail and name and shame?

OP posts:
MrReflection · 04/09/2023 11:34

Isn't it called "self entitlement"?!

Politeness, good manners and civility are essential to humanity.......

TGGreen · 04/09/2023 11:35

It always astounds me that people are stupid enough to abuse workers who have access to their food and toiletries (don't trash your hotel bathroom during a stay if your toothbrush is accessible). Make of that what you will but as an ex-chef, if you upset one of my waiting on staff, you would pay for it.

AutumnAnnie · 04/09/2023 11:35

Tellerium · 04/09/2023 11:24

To be fair I only know because of working in silver service in my 20s.

Show quote history

Which side is it?!

TGGreen · 04/09/2023 11:36

Serve food left, clear right.

Dramatico · 04/09/2023 11:37

CoffeeCantata · 04/09/2023 10:09

I think the operative word here is 'minor'. It's always the minor celebs who behave like this. If this woman was properly grand, she wouldn't give a flying f what side her food was served on, I bet. It's because she's just had a taste of the high-life and being such an important person, at least in her social circle, that she thinks she's Marie Antoinette.

Yuk - why do people never learn. It's such a naff cliche, isn't it? Someone having their 15 mins of fame and throwing their weight around, humiliating those who they think are beneath them?

Incidentally, it reminds me of a well-known story about Maggie Thatcher. Whatever you think of her politically, there are many stories of her kindness and consideration to 'the little people' (not my view, btw!). A young waitress once spilled gravy down Mrs T at a banquet and was in tears. Mrs T went out of her way to console her and make sure she was OK. People can surprise you.

A friend of mine is a retired cameraman for a news channel. He was sent to 10 Downing Street a number of times to film Mrs T and said she always served them mugs of tea herself, remembered how he took his and made sure they had everything they needed, she would also ask them about their families and actually bother to look interested in the answers.

However he said the last time he filmed her she 'stank of booze'

The last PM he filmed was David Cameron who he said was standoffish. Can't recall if I ever asked about Blair or Brown, or if he ever told me.

Dramatico · 04/09/2023 11:40

NotMadeOfStone · 04/09/2023 10:45

That is weird and creepy as fuck.

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It would be funny tho, like that Twitter user who outed Caitlin Moran for getting pissed with her friends (not distanced) during the first lockdown the week after a column of hers was published in which she slated the little people for not adhering to distancing rules during lockdown.

I laugh when 'fine for me, not for thee' types get their comeuppance.

scaredydog2 · 04/09/2023 11:40

I've heard he was awful at a party my DH friend was at. Really rude asking why my DH friend was there. Why are people like this? Do people blow so much smoke up their arses they think they're special?

HufflyShuffly · 04/09/2023 11:40

FullFatPhil · 04/09/2023 11:32

Just look at how posters are talking about her now OP. Vile.

I would ask where my starter was if it hadn't appeared and definitely wouldn't eat dodgy prawns. Would you?

As for the telling the waitress which way to put the plates down, well, maybe she was about to knock over their drinks or something. "If you come round this side and put the plates down it'll be easier and you won't knock into our things/brush past us/be at risk of knocking drinks over" etc.

Sounds like the type of place that saves money by employing kids and not enough of them. I doubt staff training is high on the agenda.

Of course it's fine for someone to be named on MN, accused of something no-one here knows is even true and called an uppity cunt, a bitch, an utter bastard and whatever else.

It's silly to think that'll be upsetting, damaging or is in any way abusive online bullying. 'LOL it won't ruin her life'. Maybe not, but it might ruin her day, week or month.

And it will be picked up by a tabloid.

OP thinking it's funny and lighthearted is 😳 and the people making awful, abusive and misogynistic comments should be ashamed of themselves.

Disgusting.

Tellerium · 04/09/2023 11:40

AutumnAnnie · 04/09/2023 11:35

Which side is it?!

Show quote history

Depends. If it's true silver service where guests get a plate and the server then serves the food at the table, its left side. If it's been plated in the kitchen then it's right side. That's what we were taught to do anyway.

Chippy4me · 04/09/2023 11:42

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Elmerchecks · 04/09/2023 11:44

I reckon everyone is a PITA sometimes, without involving the Daily Mail

Hayley0203 · 04/09/2023 11:45

The people saying it's unfair to expose her like this - it's actually very easy to avoid being exposed for this kind of thing: simply, don't be rude and entitled.

TheEyesOfLucyJordon · 04/09/2023 11:45

imagiantwitch · 04/09/2023 11:24

This doesn’t surprise me, as Bradley Walsh is actually a bit of an arse in real life too!

Is he? Any more so than the rest of us? I can be a right arse on any given day 😚

Bumcake · 04/09/2023 11:46

StanleyGoodspeed · 04/09/2023 11:26

What was Bradley Walsh doing while she was behaving like this?

Hoping nobody would overhear and post on mumsnet? 😁

He’s probably used to it to be fair.

Everanewbie · 04/09/2023 11:48

I hate it when people are rude, overly entitled and obtuse with hospitality and retail workers, especially when said worker is young and perhaps working one of their first shifts. For goodness sake she was having a pub lunch not haute cuisine at a 3 Michelin star restaurant.

My wish is that one day, hospitality and retail managers will empower their workers to tell these people to, in want of a better phrase, get fucked and drop this 'customer is always right' crap, and back them up with telling them that they're not welcome back. If the waiting staff spend their time frantically trying to meet over inflated expectations the custom isn't profitable anyway.

FullFatPhil · 04/09/2023 11:49

"The people saying it's unfair to expose her like this - it's actually very easy to avoid being exposed for this kind of thing: simply, don't be rude and entitled"

You know what @Hayley0203 you're right. Everyone should accept substandard service like missing starters and poor quality, undercooked seafood. They should never dish out advice that might help the waitress in future (although this one might not be the case it is entirely possible she was struggling to set the plates down over drinks etc).

My3dahliasarebloominlovely · 04/09/2023 11:50

Many, many years ago I was a stage performer. In between contracts I used to take on part time work - from office cleaner to temp etc etc, but my favourite was helping out at a friend's rather trendy bistro in a holiday area. One night there was great excitement in the kitchen as one table was occupied by a group of minor tv celebrities. Don't ask me who, as I didn't have a clue then and I still don't now. One very nervous waitress was given their table to wait upon. Not only were there highly suggestive remarks made to her, but she was bullied by one of the women for "not doing things properly". I took over and started serving the main course, carrying in 2 plates each trip. Obnoxious woman said in a voice designed to be carried across the whole room, "Oh, another incompetent waitress who can't do silver service!" I smiled brightly, gave a silvery laugh, and said with my best stage projection, "Silver service? From ME? With my lack of dexterity you're very lucky I haven't managed to spill the lot into your lap!" Another dazzling smile and off I sailed to appreciative laughter from the rest of the diners. They behaved a lot better after that.

HufflyShuffly · 04/09/2023 11:51

Hayley0203 · 04/09/2023 11:45

The people saying it's unfair to expose her like this - it's actually very easy to avoid being exposed for this kind of thing: simply, don't be rude and entitled.

But that's the point. No-one here knows it's even true.

But have been quick to jump on being abusive and clamouring for public shaming.

Based on an anonymous MN post!

OP could be making it up. OP could be exaggerating. OP could have been behaving badly in the pub, BW made a comment and she's pissed off. OP could know BW wife in RL and have some kind of grudge or grievance and is rubbing her hands with glee she's got a bunch of MNetters frothing about it and being abusive.

It's not okay. It's not just damaging to the person being publicly named and called a cunt, it's damaging to everyone as it feeds into the horrendous SM public shaming and abusing based on little or nothing.

ImNotWorthy · 04/09/2023 11:53

How odd that some PP thought you should challenge her, OP. Depending on her reaction, it might well have turned into a stand-up row,

MrReflection · 04/09/2023 11:54

HufflyShuffly · 04/09/2023 11:51

But that's the point. No-one here knows it's even true.

But have been quick to jump on being abusive and clamouring for public shaming.

Based on an anonymous MN post!

OP could be making it up. OP could be exaggerating. OP could have been behaving badly in the pub, BW made a comment and she's pissed off. OP could know BW wife in RL and have some kind of grudge or grievance and is rubbing her hands with glee she's got a bunch of MNetters frothing about it and being abusive.

It's not okay. It's not just damaging to the person being publicly named and called a cunt, it's damaging to everyone as it feeds into the horrendous SM public shaming and abusing based on little or nothing.

Show quote history

OP could be Bradley Walsh.....

Hayley0203 · 04/09/2023 11:55

FullFatPhil · 04/09/2023 11:49

"The people saying it's unfair to expose her like this - it's actually very easy to avoid being exposed for this kind of thing: simply, don't be rude and entitled"

You know what @Hayley0203 you're right. Everyone should accept substandard service like missing starters and poor quality, undercooked seafood. They should never dish out advice that might help the waitress in future (although this one might not be the case it is entirely possible she was struggling to set the plates down over drinks etc).

Was the starter missing? Or did it come out one minute later. The post says the latter.

What helpful things would the waitress learn about prawns she didn't cook?

Is it helpful to perpetuate a meaningless tradition of putting a plate down on one specific side of a person? Maybe, depends how much you're into meaningless traditions.

Hayley0203 · 04/09/2023 11:55

HufflyShuffly · 04/09/2023 11:51

But that's the point. No-one here knows it's even true.

But have been quick to jump on being abusive and clamouring for public shaming.

Based on an anonymous MN post!

OP could be making it up. OP could be exaggerating. OP could have been behaving badly in the pub, BW made a comment and she's pissed off. OP could know BW wife in RL and have some kind of grudge or grievance and is rubbing her hands with glee she's got a bunch of MNetters frothing about it and being abusive.

It's not okay. It's not just damaging to the person being publicly named and called a cunt, it's damaging to everyone as it feeds into the horrendous SM public shaming and abusing based on little or nothing.

Show quote history

Of course it could be false. I never said it was true. I said, if you want to avoid being exposed for being rude to people, don't be rude to people.

FullFatPhil · 04/09/2023 11:59

"Was the starter missing? Or did it come out one minute later. The post says the latter.

What helpful things would the waitress learn about prawns she didn't cook?

Is it helpful to perpetuate a meaningless tradition of putting a plate down on one specific side of a person? Maybe, depends how much you're into meaningless traditions."

I'm on about the plate setting down advice being potentially helpful, not cooking the fucking prawns. But thanks for proving my point hayley. Posters skim read and take an anonymous post as the gospel truth, just like you did, and within minutes a named woman is being called extremely abusive names online.

HRTadvicepls · 04/09/2023 12:00

Womencanlift · 04/09/2023 11:25

Agree with this. Knowing how hard it is in hospitality right now I would have said “who do you think you are. If you want silver service don’t come to a country pub”

Obviously the staff are not going to say anything so other people need to have their back - celeb/celeb wife or not

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Sure you would Hmm

Maverickess · 04/09/2023 12:04

FullFatPhil · 04/09/2023 11:49

"The people saying it's unfair to expose her like this - it's actually very easy to avoid being exposed for this kind of thing: simply, don't be rude and entitled"

You know what @Hayley0203 you're right. Everyone should accept substandard service like missing starters and poor quality, undercooked seafood. They should never dish out advice that might help the waitress in future (although this one might not be the case it is entirely possible she was struggling to set the plates down over drinks etc).

substandard service like missing starters

OP says fractionally behind, waiting staff don't apparate to and from the kitchen unfortunately, they have to walk and are disadvantaged by only having two hands as well, shocking as it is, biology and physics can't be got around - even for customer service.

poor quality, undercooked seafood.
Might be, might not be. But none of us, even the OP didn't eat it so I guess we'll never know.

They should never dish out advice that might help the waitress in future
Well no, not when that entails trying to deliberately humiliate someone in front of a pub restaurant full of people for a bit of superiority and validation. If there were glasses in the way she couldn't have, oh I don't know, moved them out of the way maybe?

People up in arms about the woman being 'shamed' yet no one really giving a toss about the humiliation and belittling of the second class citizens that are hospitality staff!