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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Make up

433 replies

ettieb · 04/09/2023 08:17

Do you wear make up every day? I do...I know I look better and younger when I wear it and feel so much better. I know so many people who don't wear make up on a daily basis who look stunning when they put make up on to go out. Why wouldn't you want to look the best you can all the time? It doesn't need to take a lot of time...5 mins for basic eye liner..mascara.. blusher and lipstick...I have a friend in her 60s and if we go out she wears lipstick and mascara and looks 20 years younger! I also would wear make up if I'm just at home hanging out with my DP...I want to look my best for him. I find it baffling that people will do their hair and make up to go out with with work colleagues but don't do the same on a daily basis for their partner...

OP posts:
Comtesse · 04/09/2023 11:23
Biscuit
NeunundneunzigHorseBallonz · 04/09/2023 11:26

I have super-blonde eyelashes. I look like a piglet without mascara. I also loathe dry lips, so at 51 I slam on lip balm (Laneige sleeping mask) and mascara at the bare minimum. I’m not at all averse to switching out my sunscreen for a tinted one if I feel a bit pale and mysterious.

DirectionToPerfection · 04/09/2023 11:26

I also would wear make up if I'm just at home hanging out with my DP...I want to look my best for him. I find it baffling that people will do their hair and make up to go out with with work colleagues but don't do the same on a daily basis for their partner

What the actual fuck?

This is very 1950s housewife.

If you enjoy makeup, fine, but stop being judgemental towards women for not piling on slap when they're sitting around at home with their partner. You're the one with the baffling attitude here.

As it happens, my DH seems to like who I am as a person, and how I look naturally. I do wear make up for going out but I would never dream of being with someone who expected me to get dolled up every day for his benefit. Fuck that.

BarnacleBeasley · 04/09/2023 11:27

I never really learnt to do makeup when I was a teenager and everyone else was doing it. In my late teens and early 20s I thought I was missing something and ought to know how to do it and would make myself look loads better. Then someone who did have quite good makeup skills pointed out that I had naturally thick dark eyelashes and clear skin, and that most of what you'd be trying to achieve with foundation and mascara is to smooth out blemishes and emphasise your eyes, which I didn't really need to do. Anyway, I am lucky enough to still have quite good skin, and I can spend the money I would otherwise have spent on makeup on gin and crisps.

tillytoodles1 · 04/09/2023 11:32

The last time I wore makeup it was done by a professional for my daughter's wedding. Before that, I can't remember.

herringboneparquet · 04/09/2023 11:35

ettieb · 04/09/2023 08:17

Do you wear make up every day? I do...I know I look better and younger when I wear it and feel so much better. I know so many people who don't wear make up on a daily basis who look stunning when they put make up on to go out. Why wouldn't you want to look the best you can all the time? It doesn't need to take a lot of time...5 mins for basic eye liner..mascara.. blusher and lipstick...I have a friend in her 60s and if we go out she wears lipstick and mascara and looks 20 years younger! I also would wear make up if I'm just at home hanging out with my DP...I want to look my best for him. I find it baffling that people will do their hair and make up to go out with with work colleagues but don't do the same on a daily basis for their partner...

Can't be bothered. Far too busy in the morning to faff with my face. I enjoy taking time to put it on when I go out.

I guess I just don't care very much what I look like to other people.

I'm surprised you care so much about other peoples appearance.

Fallingthroughclouds · 04/09/2023 11:39

You're idea of looking your best may not be everyone's. Wearing makeup to sit around at home may be a level of vanity not everyone finds attractive.

Original poster
ettieb · 04/09/2023 11:43

I think it's interesting that people who have replied to the part of my post about putting on make up for my DP think it's because he makes me or I'm a 50s housewife. He couldn't give a toss what I do.. but I love him and he loves me and I want to look as attractive as I can for him... the attraction is part of a relationship and important. I would be interested to know how many married mumsnetters wore make up on their wedding day... if you did.. surely it was too look your best and wouldn't you want to continue to do this?

OP posts:
GeraltsBathtub · 04/09/2023 11:44

I find it baffling that people will do their hair and make up to go out with with work colleagues but don't do the same on a daily basis for their partner.

don’t most people who wear makeup do so for themselves and not for other people’s benefit?

Why wouldn't you want to look the best you can all the time?

There is no one objective ‘good’ look and makeup does not necessarily make people look ‘better’, especially if badly applied or the foundation doesn’t match the skin colour etc.

Also, I don’t really care about my appearance that much. Why should I? I care about the health of my body, which can border on making it look better (eg moisturising skin), but I’ve never eg looked at my lips and thought oh no I want them to look nicer. They’re lips, they look like lips, that’s fine…

Enjoyingthesedays · 04/09/2023 11:45

Not every single day no.

Yes I do love make up and it can transform my look, but I like to give my skin a break. I also just couldn't be bothered if I know I'm not even leaving the house.

Nothing wrong with wanting to look nice for your partner, but you should be comfortable enough to be yourself and not have to paint a face on all the time.

GeraltsBathtub · 04/09/2023 11:45

Also, my DP prefers me without makeup as I look more like me. So it doesn’t mean being more attractive to all men.

Allthatwegotisthispalebluedot · 04/09/2023 11:46

This is a relatively nonsensical point. Surely you wear loads of things on your wedding day that you wouldn’t usually (stereotypically a big white dress?)?

i love make up but I don’t see the correlation between make up and my partner finding me attractive. He finds me attractive whether I’m wearing it or not. It’s sad if you only feel you look your best if you have make up on. I look good regardless! Have you tried a good skincare routine?

marblesthecat · 04/09/2023 11:47

I would be interested to know how many married mumsnetters wore make up on their wedding day... if you did.. surely it was too look your best and wouldn't you want to continue to do this?

Of course I wore makeup to my wedding as I wanted to look good in the pictures. I acknowledge I look my best with makeup on but I don't like the feeling of it and although I look better with it on, I don't think I look hideous without it as I take very good care of my skin. It's about balance. My partner doesn't find my bare face ugly, just as I don't find his ugly. Do you expect your partner to wear makeup to look his best too? You're not just talking about basic grooming/hygiene here, wearing a full face of makeup all day every day even in their own homes is really excessive.

Enjoyingthesedays · 04/09/2023 11:48

Op you're being really weird tbh.

My husband wore a suit the day we got married, it doesn't mean he should wear a suit every day now forevermore to look nice for me fgs.

You can fancy someone in different scenarios

Ibetthatyoulookgoodon · 04/09/2023 11:50

I wear make up sometimes but not often. Just like you, I think I look better with it. I guess we just probably disagree on how important it is to ‘look better’. Personally I find it comforting that I can live quite happily without it. My mum wears make up every day and I find it sad she feels like she needs to and that she’s not comfortable enough in her own skin to face the world with out it. Ultimately we are all getting older and probably over time will look objectively worse, I’m trying to disengage with the idea that I ‘need’ to look good, not engage with the idea further.

BIossomtoes · 04/09/2023 11:50

wearing a full face of makeup all day every day even in their own homes is really excessive.

One woman’s excess is another woman’s necessity.

DirectionToPerfection · 04/09/2023 11:51

I would be interested to know how many married mumsnetters wore make up on their wedding day... if you did.. surely it was too look your best and wouldn't you want to continue to do this?

Yeah I'm gonna hire a professional makeup artist and have them spend an hour painting my face every day. 😂

Do you really think your wedding day is in any way comparable to sitting around at home watching TV?

marblesthecat · 04/09/2023 11:53

BIossomtoes · 04/09/2023 11:50

wearing a full face of makeup all day every day even in their own homes is really excessive.

One woman’s excess is another woman’s necessity.

True but judging from the replies on here I'd say most would find it excessive.

I didn't let my first boyfriend (I was 19) see me without makeup for months and looking back it was nuts. He didn't care when I started removing it.

Dunga34 · 04/09/2023 11:54

Clean skin and a fresh face is THE look at the moment. Well hydrated bare skin, a bit of mascara, well groomed brows, lip balm.

Wearing eyeliner, lipstick and blush every day will make you look terribly dated. If I saw someone (eg at the gym, mum on the school run) with this makeup “look” daily I would think they were either insecure or on the older side.

In the age of WFH and clean girl aesthetic it’s just not necessary tbh.

DirectionToPerfection · 04/09/2023 11:54

How can wearing a full face of makeup at home be considered a necessity?

Wants and needs are not the same thing.

MassiveWordSalad · 04/09/2023 11:57

I've got better things to do with my time and money, frankly. I don't feel the need to do it. Men don't.

I do wonder how people get through life with so little introspection and empathy that they can't imagine why anyone else would do things differently to themselves.

countvoncount · 04/09/2023 11:58

I wear a full face every day.
Not for my other half, not for other men, not for society.
I just genuinely prefer my face with make up, simple as that.
I also like to wear a heel at work, have painted nails etc
I'm far from a barbie or a 50's housewife, comfortable being me, and like being the best me I can be.
I feel slobby without it

herewegoroundthebastardbush · 04/09/2023 12:02

Do you also wear a full length white frock every day? Or a ball gown? After all you want to look your best on your wedding day, why wouldn't you want to look like that every day? bambi-eyed blink

Now i'm not married but if I were to have a total personality change and get married, I would probably put on make-up. Because it's a special occasion. And tbf because a lot of phots will be taken of me which I will look back on in times gone by. I would probably also wear a very fabulous dress and impractical shoes. But - and here's the rub - I wouldn't do it every day. Because the whole point of a wedding is it's a special occasion.

I am bewildered by your bewilderment.

Do you not have 'interview shoes' - you know, the smart not so comfy ones you wear for an interview to look extra on-it and employable? If so, why don't you wear them to the playground with your kids - I mean, why wouldn't you always want to look your very best?

bryceQ · 04/09/2023 12:03

ettieb · 04/09/2023 11:43

I think it's interesting that people who have replied to the part of my post about putting on make up for my DP think it's because he makes me or I'm a 50s housewife. He couldn't give a toss what I do.. but I love him and he loves me and I want to look as attractive as I can for him... the attraction is part of a relationship and important. I would be interested to know how many married mumsnetters wore make up on their wedding day... if you did.. surely it was too look your best and wouldn't you want to continue to do this?

Would your husband look better with make up? Why doesn't he wear it?

herewegoroundthebastardbush · 04/09/2023 12:05

BIossomtoes · 04/09/2023 11:50

wearing a full face of makeup all day every day even in their own homes is really excessive.

One woman’s excess is another woman’s necessity.

And that, right there, is exactly the whole point and what the OP should probably have said to herself before posting. Chacun a son gout.

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