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Original poster

My Husband said he's using Bumble to find friends....🤔

59 replies

MandyBrand · 03/09/2023 04:05

I recently found out my husband of 3 years has a Bumble profile after seeing a marketing email for the service on our shared computer. He swears up and down that he's using it in the "Friend Finding Mode". I, do not believe him whatsoever and I told him that he has to leave immediately pending divorce. We have a 1 year old daughter together, which is the only reason I could ever consider giving him another chance . Is there any potential credibility to his claims, or is he just cheating? Am I being unreasonable for not believing him???

OP posts:
Maxium · 03/09/2023 04:10

Uhm, you know he's lying. There is no way someone uses Bumble for "Finding Friends". Its for finding something alright...but not that. I've tried the friend mode before and there were literally less than 20 people on it, and I live in the of the most populated cities...They were all other people of the same sex looking for same-sex relationships under the guise of friendship anyways. There is a site somewhere that indexes Bumble profiles I heard of... I don't recall what its named, but they show what mode a person's profile was used in, and they take regular snapshots all around the world.

highdaysandholudays · 03/09/2023 04:16

I'm so sorry you're going through this. One step at a time. Protect yourself. But just be assured that he is lying to you. Don't let him bamboozle you with bullshit. Have you got other support or someone you could confide in in real life?

Changingplace · 03/09/2023 04:16

Bumble is the one where the women have to make the first contact isn’t it? It’d be a shit app to try and use to find friends and his explanation’ sounds like BS to me.

OneTwoThreeShake · 03/09/2023 04:31

I've used Bumble friends and met some great women through it actually. There's always lots of women on there local to me, and lots of events organised through it like brunches and so on.

I've never known any men use it for friends.

LadyLolaRuben · 03/09/2023 04:45

Ah OP I'm sorry you're through this. He joins a dating app where women make the first move without your knowledge. He's cheating. You deserve better x

WeWereInParis · 03/09/2023 04:50

Changingplace · 03/09/2023 04:16

Bumble is the one where the women have to make the first contact isn’t it? It’d be a shit app to try and use to find friends and his explanation’ sounds like BS to me.

It has a specific "friend" mode called bumble bff, where people are on it looking for friends, not dates.

I've used it, and have met people on it. So it's theoretically possible, but unless you're aware he's lonely it seems unlikely. Bumble seems like a good dating app if you wanted to cheat, because you can claim to be using the friendship part if someone sees the app.

Skinthin · 03/09/2023 04:59

Ugh sorry OP. This sounds unlikely but it is possible (that he’s using ib friendship mode). Surely though, it would be fairly easy to verify this?? Ask him to prove it?

Justanotherdobby · 03/09/2023 05:13

Just fyi Bumble has a specific friendship and networking mode so whilst it may be improbable it's not impossible that he's telling you the truth.

WeWereInParis · 03/09/2023 05:16

Skinthin · 03/09/2023 04:59

Ugh sorry OP. This sounds unlikely but it is possible (that he’s using ib friendship mode). Surely though, it would be fairly easy to verify this?? Ask him to prove it?

Yes I think it would be easy to prove. It's the same app for both "modes", I think you switch between them in Settings. If you were to go into his app, switch to the dating mode, you'd be able to see if he has any matches, which would mean he's been swiping right. And similarly, in the friendship mode, you'd be able to see if it had been used.
I think your profile stays the same for both modes so it would also be fairly obvious from the pictures he's used and what he's written. I could be wrong about that/they could have updated it since I used it though.

Duckingella · 03/09/2023 06:23

Yes he is obviously looking for friends;friends with benefits.

Cloudysky81 · 03/09/2023 06:27

It does have a friends setting. Why don’t you look at his Bumble app at his profile and who he’s been messaging which should make it fairly clear of his intentions.

harerunner · 03/09/2023 06:31

As other posters have said Bumble has a specific "friends" mode. Look at the homepage and you'll quickly see.

Obviously he could be lying to you, but it would be a tragedy to divorce if this is a simple misunderstanding and he was telling the truth. I'd ask him to show you the app and the messages he's received and sent. If it was all innocent, he should have no problem in showing them to you.

worriedandworries · 03/09/2023 06:40

There's a specific section called bumble BFF, which is where you can find friends.

If it was any other app I'd say he was lying, but I've found friends on this app and my other friends also found friends on this app. However we had the forethought to tell our husbands we were doing so.

There's a highly likely possibility he's telling the truth.

Autieangel · 03/09/2023 07:19

It could be friends. Is there a reason you don't trust him other than this.? Can you look at his account?

Baconking · 03/09/2023 07:34

Has he ever told you he wanted to find new friends before you discovered the app?

Does he have any friends?

Abbimae · 03/09/2023 07:37

Unlikely. But it does have a friendship mode but tends to be used more by women. Will he show you the account- that’s the crunch.

hittingtheshelves · 03/09/2023 07:39

It's it really easy for him to prove it if he's just using it for friends? Get him to show you the app and the messages.

Hibiscrubbed · 03/09/2023 07:43

Not impossible, but we all know he’s a lying cunt.

lap90 · 03/09/2023 07:46

Bumble BFF is a thing and i've known women to use it with some success.
Men, however...

Ladybug14 · 03/09/2023 07:54

hittingtheshelves · 03/09/2023 07:39

It's it really easy for him to prove it if he's just using it for friends? Get him to show you the app and the messages.

This

Fourweekplan · 03/09/2023 07:55

op the profile is not the same for the friends and dating version. You could easily check if you can get access to his account on a device. I have both. With different photos and different written profile. Take care x

PrinnyPree · 03/09/2023 07:56

OP if I was using a dating app like bumble to find friends I would have been 100% transparent with my husband and have discussed it first.

He's full of shit and trying to use the "plausible" deniability that the app can be used for something else. Xx

Oysterbabe · 03/09/2023 07:56

He must think you were born yesterday OP. Not a single chance in hell is he using it to find friends.

ConnieTucker · 03/09/2023 08:00

Sounds like it would be very easy for you to check out his story.

a wonder if his next line will be he has deleted the account?

bluejumping · 03/09/2023 08:02

I think he was looking for friends with benefits

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