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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stand-off situation

34 replies

BalconyPlant · 02/09/2023 17:58

Long term poster, name changed. I can’t ask my friends about this tbh 😆 I am not a poo troll this is cringing me inside out to admit to this tbh.

Long story short, I’ve been with DP for a few years and our relationship is very good, sex, fun etc BUT neither of us will intentionally pass gas/fart in front of each other and it’s now got completely ridiculous.

I don’t even know how we got to this point but he thinks I don’t like it so he won’t do it, I’ve never said I don’t like it but I don’t do it in front of him either. I don’t mind it, it’s a natural body function but neither of us will be the first to break the fart ice if you will.

I’m quite sure I fart in my sleep (everyone does) but he’s never said anything about it as he’s protecting my dignity, like the gracious gentleman he is pretending to be 😁

This morning he was sat on the toilet doing a wee and I was brushing my teeth. He had a pained expression on his face when I asked if he was ok, he said he needed to fart. I let out a silly giggle and left the room so he could have his dignity.

I need advice how to break this stand off one of us needs to do it and if it’s going to have be me, I will have to but it’s been so long now I don’t know how to approach it 😆

AIBU to find myself in this stupid dilemma or is it actually common for women to live a life of clenching and worried about icks and smells?

OP posts:
Cosyblankets · 02/09/2023 18:01

He sat on the toilet to do a wee?

ZekeZeke · 02/09/2023 18:07

Cosyblankets · 02/09/2023 18:01

He sat on the toilet to do a wee?

Yep, that was my first thought.
Ick

Whataretheodds · 02/09/2023 18:09

Why didn't you just stay in the bathroom if you wanted to hear him fart?

If you want to break the stand-off, next time you need to fart in his presence, just let rip. There. Stand-off broken.

CondimentConfusion · 02/09/2023 18:09

Just fart if you need to!!!

Sirzy · 02/09/2023 18:09

So you’re happy to be in the bathroom at the same time as him but you won’t pass gas together?

sounds like one of you needs to grow up and talk to the other

Sparklesocks · 02/09/2023 18:10

Easy. Just both do one at the same time 😄

Poivresel · 02/09/2023 18:11

ZekeZeke · 02/09/2023 18:07

Yep, that was my first thought.
Ick

Show quote history

Don't knock it, my elderly df can hardly stand but is unable to sit for a wee as standing is an ingrained habit. It's causing great problems now. .

itsmylife7 · 02/09/2023 18:11

Cosyblankets · 02/09/2023 18:01

He sat on the toilet to do a wee?

Yes very normal in Germany. There is no reason for men not to sit down for a wee.

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 02/09/2023 18:12

itsmylife7 · 02/09/2023 18:11

Yes very normal in Germany. There is no reason for men not to sit down for a wee.

Show quote history

Yeah but Sitzpinkler is as pejorative as Warmduscher

smartiesneberhadtheanswer · 02/09/2023 18:12

He pees while you're brushing your teeth but you won't fart?

You're both completely insane. Shut the door and use the bathroom alone!

Colourfulponderings · 02/09/2023 18:14

Isn’t this normal? You go to the bathroom to break wind instead of just farting in front of others, no?

Shinyandnew1 · 02/09/2023 18:14

is it actually common for women to live a life of clenching and worried about icks and smells?

So he won’t fart in front of you either but you are worried it’s a ‘women’ problem!?

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 02/09/2023 18:14

just climb aboard him, sit on his face and fart, that will - as former US President Ronald Reagen once said - “Tear down this wall”

AndTheSurveySays · 02/09/2023 18:17

Sound like you have a fart fetish.

Nanny0gg · 02/09/2023 18:17

ZekeZeke · 02/09/2023 18:07

Yep, that was my first thought.
Ick

Show quote history

Why? It's not unheard of - and makes a hell of a lot less mess

CurlewKate · 02/09/2023 18:18

Well, I think it's perfectly normal not to fart in front of other people unless it's unavoidable. Why on earth would you?

RecycleMePlease · 02/09/2023 18:18

Sitting for a wee is good. Nothing wrong with that.

Why do you want to fart in front of each other?

If you have to, then fart, if you don't then don't - but don't go out of your way to avoid it!

Sirzy · 02/09/2023 18:18

CurlewKate · 02/09/2023 18:18

Well, I think it's perfectly normal not to fart in front of other people unless it's unavoidable. Why on earth would you?

I thought it was also perfectly normal to never piss in front of someone else to be fair!

wavws · 02/09/2023 18:19

Why are you asking us, have this conversation with him? You trust him enough to have sex with which is more intimate/potentially embarrassing

CurlewKate · 02/09/2023 18:19

Lots of men sit to pee. Apparently it's very common among young men.

pilates · 02/09/2023 18:19

Break the ice and just do it. Then have a little giggle.

JanglingJack · 02/09/2023 18:20

Ask him to pull your finger...

Brightandshining · 02/09/2023 18:20

Id expect my husband to sit down to wee if I were brushing my teeth at the same time. Think about tiny bits of wee splashing everywhere whilst ur using the sink. Grim.
I generally think men should sit down to wee in their own homes unless they are the ones regularly cleaning the bathroom tbh.

Original poster
BalconyPlant · 02/09/2023 18:22

He was sitting down as he has a bad back but he does sit to wee sometimes, he’s tall I think it makes less mess, I don’t know I don’t get ick from sit down wees 😆

We have 1 bathroom.

I don’t bloody know why it’s got to be so taboo between us but it has. I honestly promise I don’t have a fart fetish I just feel it’s unrealistic to pretend we don’t do it

OP posts:
WhineWhineWhineWINE · 02/09/2023 18:24

Lead by example and fart freely! He'll soon relax and reciprocate. Then you can blissfully bask in each other's stinking brown clouds. 😁