To say that life really is just one hard slog and then you die?

[Nowanextraone]

Anyone else feel like this??

I worked full time, in order to pay extortnate rent (£1500) on a tiny house that I'm not often in because I work full time 🙄 I have to pay ridiculous energy and fuel prices. I don't get anything nice from working so hard, it's basically for survival. When I'm not at work I am running kids round to various hobbies.

I'm really bloody miserable.

Life is really tough isn't it?

Life is what you make it.

The fuck will I work full time and not have any luxuries. Might as well not bother working at all.

What do you do?

It sounds like you decided to have kids and now you’re mad that kids are expensive and you can’t do other things except pay bills and pay for your expensive children. I’m constantly baffled that people pop out children they can’t afford and then get mad that they are broke.

That's so not true.
My children are wonderful, fun, loving individuals. Their hobbies aren't even expensive ones.

The cost of living crisis is hard.

Kids grow up and life changes OP. Todays slog is tomorrows memories - things will get better

I'm an OT in the NHS

That certainly doesn't describe my life. I love it.

But different people like and want different things. Maybe look at what you can do to make things easier?

It is very hard and I have no idea why you are getting such arsy replies.

Financially it will be better when they grow up. In the meantime is there anyway you could earn more by going private or moving ip the ranks?

I'm really sorry that life is so tough for you at the moment. I found that life got much easier once my kids became more independent and I didn't need to spend so much time physically looking after them.

I love them very much but I'm happier and enjoy life now they're almost grown up. I hope things will get easier for you too

Yes, often feel like this as a low waged single parent.

However covid restrictions and a bereavement this year have made me realise time is short and things can go at a moments notice - be that freedom, people or health - so this year I put a big trip to the US on a credit card because it would have taken months to save for. I have to pay it back before the interest free months end but it meant I could go without needing to wait. I intend to make other big changes too because I don't want to work just to survive like I have for so many years.

I think most of us have timed when we feel like this. The cost of living is so high right now, it’s hard not to feel a bit despairing about ever being able to improve your lifestyle. However, I really do think this is when a bit of gratitude for what you have is helpful.

Healthy? Kids OK? Got a roof over your head? Free healthcare. Fresh air. Food & water. Living in a place without war. Etc etc.

I thought my life was "hard" with the cost of living last year.

My DH died this year, and now it really is hard.

Count your blessings - small children make most of us skint. It passes.😗

I don’t feel that way. Are there any changes you can make to make things any better? OT don’t get paid well. Everyone I know that works for the NHS hates it or has left.

In general yes. The problem with the U.K. is that it’s so crowded. Developers take advantage of this and jam together ghastly rabbit hutch houses on every bit of scrap land. If you want a half decent standard of living, with space around you and a bit of peace and quiet, you need to work until you flippin drop. And even then someone will probably stick a new build estate on the field next door. My poor sister slogged her guts out for 20 years because she wanted to live in a village in Devon. She finally got her dream cottage and a year later they built a giant new estate all round her. She’s very bitter and often says she wishes she’d lived on benefits instead.

I totally disagree

You need to make time to enjoy the small things in life

You need to make time for yourself

Reconnect with nature, a hobby, music, something new.

It doesn't have to cost lots of money either

I get the sentiment, and me and DH both do have the 'why even bother?!' feelings sometimes! But overall no, I wouldn't describe myself as 'miserable', my life has a lot of warmth, love, and fun, and I'm very privileged compared to so many other people. I make choices that balance finances with quality of life/family life and within the available options I'm confident I make appropriate choices. We didn't stretch ourselves with a house and we took a long term, so we have a small mortgage. We chose to live near to family so we have some support. We family plan very carefully. We both work part-time (and no, we don't claim any benefits except for child benefit and tax free childcare, before people jump on that). We have no debts except the mortgage and we live well within our means so we can save, and we still have a nice, pleasant lifestyle. I think I definitely have very low expectations compared to lots of other people on MN though judging by plenty of other threads i've seen.

Kind of agree kind of don't.

I think if you choose not to have kids and get out of the UK as soon as possible you can have an easier life.

Make some money and fuck off basically. The work effort isn't rewarded here.

I was a single mum for years and we always managed to have fun.
Holidays were camping, we went wild swimming and biked and walked everywhere.
Life is what you make it. After DS went to uni my career really took off but I'm no happier with money than without. I still do the same things.
You didn't exist for billions of years before you won the lottery of being born and you won't exist for billions of years after so don't waste it.
If you want to live on a boat do it, if you want to live abroad do it.
You don't get a second chance.

A conservative government doesn’t care about the welfare of its people. It’s as simple as that really. You’re a worker. Why would they care about your health and happiness?

After the WW2 there was a shift towards caring for the welfare of people, which is why the nhs was set up. I don’t know when it started to go downhill but it’s been heading that way for a long time and now we’ve had a conservative government for many years, covid and the COL crisis so the decline has accelerated. The move to Universal credit from tax credits has made life tougher for a lot of people but it seems that no one has even noticed and it has just been accepted. There are no disability benefits (PIP) unless someone is almost dead.

No-one cares or takes any action. They just argue amongst themselves and moan about benefits scroungers and there being ‘no magic money tree’ while the sociopaths at the top pay no taxes and live in luxury.

Thank you. Yes, I am just finishing up a specialism qualification and then I plan to go private 🙂

So so true

And thanks so much to the people who get it, or those that don't but have been kind.

Yes I agree. It's a slog. I am mid fifties and have been working 37 years. Do have a home owned outright but nothing else much to show for it and trying to put kids through Uni which is costing a fortune. Not much left over for nice things. thought by this age I would be able to have a few holidays abroad or be able to save for retirement but it's not possible. I spent many many years when the kids were young never getting a day off, working nights and weekends around dh in a physically and mentally draining career ( palliative care Nursing). My physical and mental health are dire. i just want to retire but won't be possible for many years by which time I will likely be too unwell to enjoy the things I had hoped to do. Sorry for the negativity !!

I have found life to be hard too. I'm now retired, both my adult kids now have disabilities, I'm not badly off financially, but it does seem to be a long slog every day . I go to bed exhausted and have to do the same slog the next day.It's no ones fault, it's sadly circumstances beyond my control. And the welfare state is wholly inadequate, it's bitty with no joined up thinking.
End of rant.

This is the crux of it.

I no longer reside in the UK but have watched its decline in horror tbh.

So much suffering under this stretch of Tory rule and their policies and decisions.

I feel desperately sorry for those who have actively chosen to not take part in voting for these **s who have taken a sledgehammer to the country I once knew as a bloody good one.

I am sorry OP, I can't offer much more than a handhold of understanding. It is shit.

Could you not move to a cheaper part of the country, especially as an OT you could probably get a job in most places. Also go down to part time working so life isn’t such a slog. We have kids and I work part time in the NHS, yes the days I work are absolutely exhausting but enjoy my job and my time off, fortunately we don’t live in a hugely expensive part of the country so we do have a little left to enjoy the occasional treat and not too expensive holiday

When everyday is a slog and there is no reward for hard work. Then it's bound to get you down.
Hopefully better times will be on the horizon op.