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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say that life really is just one hard slog and then you die?

84 replies

Nowanextraone · 02/09/2023 14:11

Anyone else feel like this??

I worked full time, in order to pay extortnate rent (£1500) on a tiny house that I'm not often in because I work full time 🙄 I have to pay ridiculous energy and fuel prices. I don't get anything nice from working so hard, it's basically for survival. When I'm not at work I am running kids round to various hobbies.

I'm really bloody miserable.

Life is really tough isn't it?

OP posts:
lauraisa · 03/09/2023 01:01

Disagree & so sad you feel this way.

Alexandra2001 · 03/09/2023 06:47

OnlyTheBravest · 02/09/2023 22:50

Life is definitely a slog when you have children, need to cover living costs and want to enjoy life a little. I refuse to just eat, sleep, work, repeat because that it what is 'expected'. Sod that for a giggle.
OP start making a plan. Look at career that pays more, gain qualifications/experience and go for it. The first few years will be tough but as time goes on, it will get easier.
I always like the opening lines of the theme to Different Strokes.
Now, the world don't move to the beat of just one drum, what might be right for you, may not be right for some.
That and Nikes 'Just do it'.

She is, training in a specialism and is looking to work private sector.

Though re training and then leaving the NHS wont help any of us when we need medical treatment..

Wishihadanalgorithm · 03/09/2023 09:47

OP I really get it. On the one hand we are comfortable but not having the big stuff our peers have. It’s hard work followed by more with a side of stretching the budget.

No advice but having your health and your home is a massive win. Earlier this year I was pretty poorly so now thank my lucky stars for what I do have. It’s hard in the daily grind but do try to change your perspective as it helps.

WishIwasElsa · 03/09/2023 10:10

I have felt for a while that life is so much less than it could be. We live on this amazing planet with so much to offer yet we have to spend most of our time working to afford to exist. My kids spend more time at school then they do with me and I have to.pay for them to be there longer so I can work. Whoever thought all of this up should have thought it through more. Hardly any free time to enjoy life just work work work to make others richer - great plan.

StEImosFire · 03/09/2023 10:24

I know what you mean op. I'm in a similar sort of role and it certainly has felt the same, working full time, delivering the kids to where they need to be, running the house etc is one long hard slog. It has got a bit easier now the kids are teens and a bit more independent.

User4732 · 03/09/2023 10:45

I do think that part of this is mothers feeling that they have to take their children to half a dozen different activities every week. I would cut that right down. You can also save a lot of time by lowering your standards and doing much less housework.

JaneyGee · 03/09/2023 10:54

For me, the worst thing is the lack of space. This country is so crowded that you just can't enjoy life. Most of us are jammed into new build rabbit hutches, with too many people on top of us. The traffic is so awful round here that I hardly go out, and when I do it takes me forever to get anywhere. I often think central England is going to end up as one giant housing estate beginning in Liverpool and ending in Surrey.

There was a headline on the front of The Economist magazine recently: "Why the Green Belt Has Got to Go". You don't need a crystal ball to see the future. In the Spring, for example, I went for a walk with a friend. We stopped to listen to a bird and within seconds it was drowned out by the screeching and exploding of car exhausts.

Babyroobs · 03/09/2023 11:51

BrighterLater · 02/09/2023 20:49

I know what you mean OP. We both work FT and are theoretically well paid but can't afford a new car (so can't go most places in car as non ULEZ compliant), can't afford a holiday and are having to fight tooth and nail to get assessments and support for our DD who has extreme anxiety, school refuses and has suspected ASC.

I'd like to think it will get easier but DH job is shaky, and if he does keep it and eldest goes to uni next year we need to find £500 per month to support her. Meanwhile house needs to be re rendered, flat roof needs repairing, everything needs decorating but time and money just don't exist for this. And we can't even look forward to retirement as have cut back on pension contributions to make ends meet. Just all feels relentless!

It feels quite shocking how parents of kids going to Uni are expected to find the money to help them as well as trying to pay all the other costs that have risen . We ahve 2 going to Uni this year so looking at needing to help to the tune of up to 1k a month, it seems impossible. Both kids have tried so hard to get summer jobs to no avail. Not sure if it just our area but kids seem to be struggling.

Lucy202 · 03/09/2023 11:54

🤣 this post made me laugh. I feel like this all of the time. Everything is an uphill struggle then we just die. Me & my friend was laughing the other day and i had said if i had a choice in life i would have stayed a cell in my dads sperm 🤣

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