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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it wasn’t wrong of me to use a parent & child parking space?

292 replies

AngeloMysterioso · 02/09/2023 01:09

At a supermarket today- I didn’t have my DC with me, however I am 6 1/2 months pregnant with DC3 and suffering with what I have come to refer to as “arse daggers” - very painful shooting pains in my glutes that leave me hobbling in a most inelegant manner by the end of the day.
The parking spaces in the car park are very narrow, to the point where I struggle to fit myself and my bump out of the door and it was all getting a bit ridiculous, so today I decided to park in one of the P&C spaces (of which there are many, and I didn’t take the last empty one) so that I wouldn’t have to squeeze out of the door and would have less distance to painfully shuffle into the shop.
Afterwards I was putting my shopping in my car when I was accosted by some absolute cowbag who berated me for taking a P&C space even though I didn’t have a child with me. I pointed out the obvious, bump, mobility problems, plenty of spaces to go round, and she said I still had no right to park there and potentially deprive someone with a child of a space. At this point I decided not to bother engaging and just got in my car and left.

Was I BU?

OP posts:
ZadocPDederick · 02/09/2023 08:05

As a parent of a very young, lively, impulsive child - those spaces are so much safer.

You’re not the first woman on Earth to be pregnant

And you are not the first woman on earth to have a very young child. If you can't keep your child safe in a supermarket car park, how do you manage parking in other places without P&C spaces? Yes, it makes your life easier; why do you begrudge something that makes a pregnant woman's life easier?

Bobbielikespeas · 02/09/2023 08:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Whitepaleness · 02/09/2023 08:07

TakeMeToTheCloudsAbove · 02/09/2023 08:01

As a parent of a very young, lively, impulsive child - those spaces are so much safer.

You’re not the first woman on Earth to be pregnant. Just park at the back of the car park where there’s more space, the walk would do you good.

They should just be for those with babies, small children and SEND kids. I don’t understand when parents of older kids park in these spaces when their children are perfectly able to get out of the car and walk through the car park safely.

I wish you any future pregnancies full of pain and hip issues where you end up using crutches then you call a come back and apologise for those words.

It’s as ignorant as saying SEN kids who are 9 don’t need to use the spaces. 😳

Ascendant15 · 02/09/2023 08:07

Sometimeswinning · 02/09/2023 01:13

I don't know. I think it may have come up on here before. I could be wrong but I'm going to hazard a guess most people will tell you not to worry about it.

Then people with bluebadges will get involved.

You'll also be told to park at the back of the carpark. (Which is a good shout imo as no one parks there!)

Only onepost to drag blue badges /disability into an entirely unrelated thread. It must be a MN record.

Parent and child spaces are advisory - they cannot be enforced. Disabled spaces are required by law and can be enforced.

Sirzy · 02/09/2023 08:08

The space meant you could access the store safely. Yanbu to use it.

at the end of the day from the stores PoV it meant you could get in and spend money which is all they care about

EyOopDucky · 02/09/2023 08:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Just stop with the Karen
It's old, boring & nasty

BitOutOfPractice · 02/09/2023 08:12

YABU for not using the correct medical term for your condition. Javelin Arse. Has mn taught you nothing.

As for the parking space I couldn’t care less. Knock yourself out. If it made your life easier and less painful, I’m glad. Honestly, if I see a heavily pregnant woman struggling I’d really really want her to have all the breaks she can get.

Congrats on the pregnancy. I hope your arse starts behaving soon.

ShouldIbeLeftWithLess · 02/09/2023 08:13

It's usually men I see using those spaces without a child and I can imagine they are rarely pulled up on it. You were unlucky OP and I would never berate a pregnant woman for using one as I have no idea how that person is feeling - every pregnancy is different.

Advicerequest · 02/09/2023 08:14

If I'd seen that woman berate you I'd have sidled up to you when she left and said 'what an arsehole!'

DiceLadder · 02/09/2023 08:17

The ones at asda are for expectant mothers too. I used them during pregnancy in the last few weeks.
When a woman has a large bump it's rock solid, it's not like being overweight where you can squish in or suck it in to an extent, you literally can't get in or out if there's not enough space.

itsgettingweird · 02/09/2023 08:18

P and C spaces are courtesy spaces. Provided for the courtesy of those with children to have a wider space.

Why they don't just make car park spaces match the size of current cars I have no idea!

You parked there with a child in utero because it needed it. Wouldn't bother me in the slightest!

The bugbear I have with my local supermarket with p and c spaces is they are closer than the BB spaces.

So the argument there is often from parents who don't like those with BB parking in them (with their badge!).

I think having courtesy P and C spaces at the back of a car park would solve this issue!

But I wouldn't care who used them knowing only someone in genuine need would if they weren't the closest spaces available!

Rockbird · 02/09/2023 08:18

YANBU. I used one yesterday for the first time in years. After a recent thread on here when someone said they were for under 12s I checked the sign and that's what it said. So I parked there with my 11yo! There were loads of free P&C spaces so I did it just because I could.

And before I get jumped on, it was a one off experiment, I don't intend to do it again.

You're way more entitled to use the space than I was.

Evaka · 02/09/2023 08:20

Ignore the haters OP. You were perfectly within your rights. It's just a facility offered by a massive retail chain, not a question of pure ethics. You're pregnant, sore and in need of a break. Hope your arse settles soon and congrats on baby!

phoenixrosehere · 02/09/2023 08:20

TakeMeToTheCloudsAbove · 02/09/2023 08:01

As a parent of a very young, lively, impulsive child - those spaces are so much safer.

You’re not the first woman on Earth to be pregnant. Just park at the back of the car park where there’s more space, the walk would do you good.

They should just be for those with babies, small children and SEND kids. I don’t understand when parents of older kids park in these spaces when their children are perfectly able to get out of the car and walk through the car park safely.

You’re not the first woman on Earth to be pregnant. Just park at the back of the car park where there’s more space, the walk would do you good.

So you’re one of those pregnant women who didn’t have any pelvic, back, or walking issues and/or types who say “pregnancy is not an illness”?

Must be nice.

Littlegoth · 02/09/2023 08:22

I would have parked there, have done so in the past, and had a clear conscience over it. Many supermarkets (Tesco for one) display the mum with a bump in their spaces. When I’ve asked in store in the past they’ve encouraged me to use the space.

WilsonandNoodles · 02/09/2023 08:25

The arguement of fat vs pregnant is a daft one. Obese people are squishy and can pull their belly bit by bit through a small gap, and 6 month plus baby belly is a solid lump.
I'd have no issue with you using the space, you clearly have a reason to. I've got more issue with people who park in them with older children without any additional needs (that don't already mean they can get a blue badge). As soon as a child can do their own belt you can hold the door for them while they get in so wider space isn't needed. Half the people having a go at you probably have neurotypical and physically able 7 year olds but still use the spaces because they've forgotten what it's like to genuinely need the space, so I wouldn't worry.
Good luck with 3 children though, parking gets even more nuts!

GRex · 02/09/2023 08:25

If you're uncomfortable, it would be better to get food deliveries. The delivery charges usually cost far less than petrol would cost you to get there.

As for where you park, people do like to get over-excited. As long as it isn't a disability space, it really doesn't matter.

Hibiscrubbed · 02/09/2023 08:25

TakeMeToTheCloudsAbove · 02/09/2023 08:01

As a parent of a very young, lively, impulsive child - those spaces are so much safer.

You’re not the first woman on Earth to be pregnant. Just park at the back of the car park where there’s more space, the walk would do you good.

They should just be for those with babies, small children and SEND kids. I don’t understand when parents of older kids park in these spaces when their children are perfectly able to get out of the car and walk through the car park safely.

You’re not the first woman on Earth to be pregnant. Just park at the back of the car park where there’s more space, the walk would do you good.

…the walk would do you good…

Ding ding ding, we have a peak triggered Mumsnet P&C space maniac 😂

ScrambledEggForBrains · 02/09/2023 08:25

Why shouldn’t you park in a Parent and Child space? You’re carrying a child! Pregnancy I know is not an illness but it can and does come with some debilitating issues. Dont give this woman anymore head space, she obviously has nothing better to do. Flowers

HippyDays · 02/09/2023 08:27

This reminds me of the time my friend was babysitting her niece and nephew - something like a 2 year old and a 6 month old.

She was saying how helpful the P&C space was and her brother in law (the children’s Dad) berated her as they are PARENT and child spaces.

phoenixrosehere · 02/09/2023 08:30

itsgettingweird · 02/09/2023 08:18

P and C spaces are courtesy spaces. Provided for the courtesy of those with children to have a wider space.

Why they don't just make car park spaces match the size of current cars I have no idea!

You parked there with a child in utero because it needed it. Wouldn't bother me in the slightest!

The bugbear I have with my local supermarket with p and c spaces is they are closer than the BB spaces.

So the argument there is often from parents who don't like those with BB parking in them (with their badge!).

I think having courtesy P and C spaces at the back of a car park would solve this issue!

But I wouldn't care who used them knowing only someone in genuine need would if they weren't the closest spaces available!

I think having courtesy P and C spaces at the back of a car park would solve this issue!

How, when the point is safety? How does that help pregnant women and those with babies and smaller children?

Most of the P&Cs I’ve seen are either close to the entrance but on the side while Blue spaces are all in the front for several aisles or close to the entrance but only in one specific row with the Blue Spaces again in several rows in the front which works better.

Sierra26 · 02/09/2023 08:30

Objectively you were wrong but that’s not what matters here.

Anyone using them without an actual child with them is making a subjective judgement as to whether they need to or not. Which is fine but not objectively correct.

The spaces aren’t protected legally, and no one should begrudge you using them if you were struggling as you said you were. Calling someone out like the other person did is out of order, you weren’t harming anyone and there were other spaces. She was obviously looking for a fight.

More than one thing can be true

TolkiensFallow · 02/09/2023 08:31

Don’t worry about it.

I remember being heavily pregnant and stopping at a supermarket after a long day at work. I parked my tiny ka at the back of the car park with a space either side. When I got back people had parked so close either side that I couldn’t get in. I’d had a rubbish day and I had to wait for them to return. I cried out of frustration.

later people told me that heavily pregnant are allowed to use the mother and baby spaces for this reason. I’ve seen a couple of car parks where it actually says “parents with young children and pregnant women”.

Autieangel · 02/09/2023 08:32

No because they are spaces specifically for parents with young children. In the same way you can't use a disabled space because you are not registered disabled.

There are lots of people in pain, struggling with issues who would benefit from parking closer, you are no more entitled than anyone else. Saying that it's not some random customers job to police you.

ilovesooty · 02/09/2023 08:35

Autieangel · 02/09/2023 08:32

No because they are spaces specifically for parents with young children. In the same way you can't use a disabled space because you are not registered disabled.

There are lots of people in pain, struggling with issues who would benefit from parking closer, you are no more entitled than anyone else. Saying that it's not some random customers job to police you.

They are not the same as disability spaces.