To think it wasn’t wrong of me to use a parent & child parking space?

[AngeloMysterioso]

At a supermarket today- I didn’t have my DC with me, however I am 6 1/2 months pregnant with DC3 and suffering with what I have come to refer to as “arse daggers” - very painful shooting pains in my glutes that leave me hobbling in a most inelegant manner by the end of the day.
The parking spaces in the car park are very narrow, to the point where I struggle to fit myself and my bump out of the door and it was all getting a bit ridiculous, so today I decided to park in one of the P&C spaces (of which there are many, and I didn’t take the last empty one) so that I wouldn’t have to squeeze out of the door and would have less distance to painfully shuffle into the shop.
Afterwards I was putting my shopping in my car when I was accosted by some absolute cowbag who berated me for taking a P&C space even though I didn’t have a child with me. I pointed out the obvious, bump, mobility problems, plenty of spaces to go round, and she said I still had no right to park there and potentially deprive someone with a child of a space. At this point I decided not to bother engaging and just got in my car and left.

Was I BU?

@ilovesooty of course not

But we have seen on here that some P and C spaces due state they are for pregnant women too.
Why are some posters being so horrible to a pregnant woman?

Why did you say "in the same way" then?

@TakeMeToTheCloudsAbove you’re not the first person to have an impulsive young child either so what’s your point? What a horrible post!

I'm 34 weeks, huge, sciatica and hip aches.

I won't use the parent & child if my DS isn't with me as I know I can still slide in and out of the car in a normal space and someone with a car seat could use the space more than I need to right now.

Yanbu op, I did the same around 7 months pregnant for the same reasons as you when everyone thought I was 9 months along and ready to drop because of the sheer size of my bump. I couldn’t squeeze in and out of the car in a normal parking space or walk far without pain. I wouldn’t have used a disabled space but I did figure I was a parent with child, just not in the usual sense. I also think you did the right thing not engaging, who needs the extra stress! Best of luck!

The point isn't safety, otherwise there would be similar arrangements in things like council car parks. Or children would have been dying in droves in the days before P&C spaces were introduced, and they just weren't. You can keep a child safe perfectly well in a car park by using reins or something similar.

The point of P&C spaces is simply that supermarkets want to attract parents as customers because people buying for a family spend more.

I tend to agree with this really. If it’s not a Parent and Child space, but a In Pain space that’s fine with me, but that does mean you can’t complain if others use it for similar so when you are with your kids the space is already occupied.

It is a bit of a slippery slope though because if everyone who is pregnant starts to use these spaces, whether or not they have pain and discomfort as you have described, then there won’t be enough places left for parents with young children who are the priority need.

In an ideal world maybe we need a temp badge to be provided by midwives for pregnant women with mobility issues over and above the norm to allow them to use these spaces too. Or significantly more spaces to take into account that about 2% of women are pregnant at any one time.

I'd rather see you getting out your car than the mums with kids and 12, 13 etc that often use the spaces I see round here.

I think it was fine to use the space -you were clearly struggling, equally I think if someone had a broken leg and was on crutches that would be appropriate to use a disabled space as they are unable to walk. It is related in my view to need.

You have every right to park there ignore anyone who says otherwise

I remember being 9 months pregnant and taking my daughter to an event. The car park was crazy busy and I got the last available space in the whole car park. Parked up, went to get out and literally couldn't fit out of the space. No matter what I did I didn't fit. I was crying, my daughter was crying. We had to leave and go home. There was no alternative. So no YANBU at all.

When my children were young, two small children were killed in separate incidents in two supermarket car parks near me. Car parks are dangerous places for children as cars move more unpredictably and small children often can't be seen in a rear view mirror.

Parent and child spaces are provided as a safety measure next to footpaths in the car park. Parents are often distracted by getting a second child/baby out of the car, so the footpath provides a safe place for children to wait, and the extra space for lifting out baby car seats.

I now have a grandchild who is at the impulsive age and I'm very grateful for that safe space.

I think it's fine, you are carrying a baby which can (for some) be incredibly debilitating and you sre with a child it's just inside you. Other people with non pregnancy related debilitating conditions, including obesity are if course welcome to apply for blue badges to manage their longer term issues.

The point isn't safety, otherwise there would be similar arrangements in things like council car parks. Or children would have been dying in droves in the days before P&C spaces were introduced, and they just weren't

@ZadocPDederick see my post above about the two children killed near me, back in the late 80s/early 90s.

@ilovesooty I meant she doesn't have a young child therefore not eligible for parent and child parking. Equally she doesn't have a disability so not eligible for disability parking. She comes under neither banner. I understand one is a courtesy and one is a legal right.

I wouldn't have grumbled about your use of the space, partly because you did have your (unborn) child with you, and partly because these spaces aren't a social justice thing, like disability spaces. They aren't regulated and they don't address profound issues of disadvantage and marginalistion like disability spaces do. They are a promotional gimmick by supermarkets, handy but inessential.

My children grew past the age of needing buggies just at the point when these spaces began to appear. So I have never used them. And never suffered any significant problem from their unavailability.

I don't think the OP's mobility problems are really relevant though, otherwise I could have used these spaces for several days recently on the grounds that tackling seven Wainwrights in one day had utterly fucked my thighs.

Having a trolley to lean on helps.

OP I had a small car when I was pregnant and still couldn't open the door enough to get in if parked in a standard space toward the end. I would park in an end space if there was on available, but if there wasn't I'd use a P&C guilt free.

If you’re struggling to walk and pregnant I can’t see the harm tbh ! Specially getting in and out of the car it’s hard work in a narrow space !
basically your having mobility problems moving so u do what is easiest anyone with a brain cell wouldn’t mind !
I am a blue badge holder and I have used P&C spaces before it’s just common sense isn’t it ?
I don’t really understand why people are accosting people in car parks it isn’t their job is it ?
you always gunna have someone use a space their not supposed to but that is life !

Using the safety argument a parent and newborn baby wouldn't need to use the space either.🤔

Plus not all parent and child spaces are next to paths. Many are, but I've seen lots where its just a wider space, closer to the entrance but not always.

Dang some of you are harsh

It’s not the same at all. Blue badge spaces are a legal requirement, with a very clear system as to who can park there (that is shit and means many miss out but that’s a different issue)

p and c spaces are a curtesy and a marketing ploy

Well that's horseshit on many levels.

Delivery is usually £4-5 on a last minute order and to get a cheap delivery you have to plan in advance.
Still way more than it would cost me to drive to my local supermarket which would be pennies.

It's definitely not cost effective to do a delivery to top up fruit, bread, milk etc

Also, the OP had the right to leave the house ffs. Should she be locked in for the remainder of her pregnancy?

I am really sorry that you had this experience OP and I hope you are getting some relief/are able to put it behind you soon..I wish people would just mind their own business and stop being cunts to others