Friend said our holidays are boring

[SusanandMidge]

My friend and her husband love travelling and go on about 4 holidays a year. This year they've been to Egypt, India and Japan and are planning a trip to Croatia next month,
We prefer to holiday in the UK. Just throw everything into the car, no airport security, worrying about losing passports, delayed flights etc. We genuinely enjoy driving around places like the Lake District, Devon, Wales etc., stopping off at nice villages, chilling out in the garden of rented cottages with a glass of wine and a book, pottering up to the local pub for dinner and all that.

Last night, after a couple of drinks, my friend asked me why we go on such 'boring' holidays. I just said I wouldn't really enjoy the holidays she goes on but each to their own. She started persisting, saying 'don't you want to see the world' and so on. I pointed out that when we were younger we went to the States, Australia and lots of European countries. Then she said yeah but that was years ago, and we should 'treat ourselves' to a few nice holidays.

We're about to head down to Cornwall for a week, but her comments have kind of ruined it. I really don't want to go on long haul holidays and was content with our UK holidays but now just feel like everyone thinks we're boring and unadventurous. AIBU.

Her idea of a good holiday are not mine. Too much hassle.

Take no notice.

Devon is your idea of hell? Interesting.

You should ask her about her carbon footprint OP.

I love your kind of holiday.

I would love to holiday more in the Uk but the weather is so dodgy . Even we retire we will holiday here more as we can just up and go

I live in all year round sunshine as well and I love my holidays to very cold countries in the middle of their winter.

I much prefer holidays abroad, I love early morning flights, I love visiting new countries and planned activities. But that’s just what I love. That doesn’t mean my friends will enjoy the same holidays I do, my best friend never goes abroad and sticks to UK. Not my sort of holiday but I just ask her all about it, what they plan to do there, never crosses my mind to comment on her choice of destination or to tell her she should be doing what I’m doing. We’re adults. She can do what she wants.

Your friend was rude

That's fair enough, but it's a very well-documented and utterly normal psychological phenomenon — it's one of the mechanisms that makes human society function, and not anything to be ashamed of.

Different horses for different courses OP. Do what you enjoy!

We don't tend to holiday in the UK as in a full week or 2 but do shorter long weekend trips camping. But mostly because the cost of accommodation and days out it's actually cheaper for us to go abroad. We have a holiday coming up which was cheaper than renting a place in Cornwall and that's AI. Not something we have done before but I need a de stress trip.

My DH and I do love to explore with the kids somewhere new and that includes the UK.

I thought you were on holiday together! Nobody asked her.

She sounds like quite a boring friend. And rude.

It's very rude to tell a 'friend' (I"m not sure she is really) that something they do is boring. It's small-minded and unimaginative not to be able to conceive of someone liking different things to yourself.
I'd have cut her off with an airy 'Well, we have different ideas about things, that's all.' and changed the subject.

The issue is you not her. You shouldn't worry about what anyone thinks. If you're happy then crack on

Uk holidays don't suit me at all, I need to get on a plane to feel like it's a holiday but that's me. I'm suiting myself and you should too.

I would rather have been sat in a cafe in St Ives last week than hours of waiting in an airport due to air traffic chaos. International trips are all rather nice once you get over jet lag, and the hassle of getting there, but staycations are nice too. While she is bragging about jetting off, you are going for a more ecologically and wallet-friendly option, and contributing to local rural communities that need a much needed boost in the shops with tourist trade nowadays. Many people cannot afford any sort of holiday in these economic times, so any holiday should be enjoyed for what it is, and regardless of where it is.

I like to do both the things you describe OP, your holidays and hers. But I'd do yours for a week or long weekend, or every other year. Not every single year.

She was being a bit rude but I can see where she's coming from. My first proper boyfriend who I dated throughout university was like this. I wanted to travel the world. I did and we broke up. I just imagine someone being that unadventurous and limited in their world view. Definitely each to their own, but going abroad (done properly, not an all inclusive you sit in for 2 weeks) does broaden your horizons, if you can afford it. If you can't, that's fine. But if you can't and you choose not to, then I would wonder why.

However, if you really don't want to travel and see other places or cultures then don't let her opinion ruin your Cornwall holiday.

I'd be inclined to ask her why doesn't she care about climate change?

I think she was incredibly rude.

I’m with you op. We holiday in the uk and have been to some amazing places. I often talk to people that travel abroad and often they haven’t seen hardly any of the uk which to me seems odd. There’s some amazing places to visit in the uk and not travelling by air is far better for the environment (we have an electric car before anyone moans).

My idea of hell would be an all inclusive holiday in a holiday complex with a pool, spending most of the week led on a sun lounger and moaning that it’s too hot 😬. I have family members that travel all over the place and then never leave the complex they are staying in. I guess everyone has different ideas as to what’s a good holiday, some like cruises, some like skiing, some like camping and others like travelling around the uk. Your friends shouldn’t be judging your choice of holiday.

I’ve walked around Edinburgh many times. It is always lovely. I was wondering why Mitchellmummy assumed there are more things to do in the UK in bad weather, than in other countries so therefor better. To me that sounded a bit funny. Your holiday is absolutely what you make of it.

Could always drive to France for a change?
Just an idea, but really nobody's business!
We actually love doing both - a bit of Cornwall and a bit
of "exotic" each year.
The person who said Disney is not for everyone: also understand this!
I can do 2 days, which I love, but def. no more!

These day if it wasn't for the unreliability of the weather I'd probably go abroad less as there are such beautiful places in the UK.
We no longer do long haul as I don't really enjoy flying anymore and we've decided that city breaks to very popular places are no longer for us as many are way to busy, even out of season.
We're off on Monday on the ferry, it should be plain sailing😁but we were caught up in the Gilet Juanes protests a few years ago and had a couple of horrendous crossings, weatherwise. There's so many variables with travel you just have to research the best you can then trust to luck it doesn't go pear shaped.
Ignore your "friend" and have a great time in Cornwall.

There are some beautiful places in the uk. Of all my holidays the ones in the uk have been my favourite.

YOU go where YOU want on holiday. Your friend is very rude and not able to appreciate other people's POV.

Well, you like your kind of holiday.
Your friend likes her kind of holiday.
I like my kind of holiday.

On our last holiday, I said to DH that I was itching to get some secateurs and deadhead the roses in the apartment's garden. He asked if that was my idea of fun, but he already knows that I would enjoy that and not see it as a chore. We are all different.

I don't think your friend was polite in rubbishing your breaks like that, in the same way she would be impolite if she said she thought the way you'd decorated your house was hideous. It's just not necessary.

It sounds like she’s projecting a bit.

I love a U.K. holiday too & having the freedom. Airports are such a hassle since covid

Amazing UK places: Isles of Scilly, National Parks, N Norfolk, cities like Edinburgh, the Hebridean islands, interesting towns like Hay on Wye (and it's fabulous river), multiple places in Cornwall, the Yorkshire Dales.

That's just a few of the lovely destinations. I've got a long list of places I'd like to add.

I've been (and lived) abroad plenty of times too. But I think it's your friend who lacks imagination OP.

I’d think the right response was ‘Well, most people realise that not everyone likes doing the same things. I’m glad you enjoy your holidays. I enjoy mine too.’

Some people spend a fortune on holidays I’d consider extortionate and tacky. others go on holiday doing things I’d consider extremely hard work and not relaxing. Others go places which are full of people I’d rather not spend my holiday with. Others spend far more than I’d be prepared to spend on a holiday. Others stay in locations I really wouldn’t enjoy or with climates I’d struggle with.

Some people haven’t got the imagination to think if nine doing anything different to what they’d choose. For them, the only explanation must be lack of money. But of course it can be a factor, but often isn’t and quite simply is that people like different things.

Perhaps your friend also likes to spend vast sums on holidays and chooses that instead of pension contributions, house renovations, savings,or any other multitude of things one could spend on. Not everyone wants to fork out big time for a holiday.