Please talk me down

[supergreenmeanmachine]

I have woken up with what I’m pretty sure is a urine infection.

I have to run a big monthly meeting at 1pm and I feel absolutely dreadful. My boss is male and a bit of a prick.

I had a panic attack at 6am this morning with the stress of it all. Vomiting and struggling to breathe.

please talk some sense into me. I feel like I want to run away

You need a dr appointment and a day off work. Call I’m sick. It’s your absolute right to.

Are you prone to anxiety? Because this reaction seems quite excessive. You are literally asking yourself worse with the vomiting etc

When you say you’re running it - chairing it?

Work is just work.

Call the doctor, get some antibiotics prescribed, go back to sleep.

Most of us are just a number in the workplace. If your prick of a boss says anything inappropriate to you, report him to HR.

Yeah I am ☹️

Yeah I present all the info.

You can’t do the meeting if you’re sick. Get medical help. Are you on treatment for the anxiety?

Two issues. You are not well and need time off. Someone else can run the meeting, yes?
Reaction of boss. This is a separate issue and sounds ongoing, but not one you can deal with today while you're ill. Can you put this aspect to one side to consider a bit later OP?
Hope you feel better soon.

If it’s monthly - it’s an update meeting? Easily rescheduled or sent electronically?

Do you usually get anxious when delivering these?

I had a UTI a few weeks ago, working away from home for 5 days and had to deliver all day training to 25 managers. That was a hard day!

There are two issues here.

If you're sick then you need to ring the doctors and take a day off - that's absolutely fine and not something to feel guilty about, though I understand why you feel bad.

If your anxiety is so bad that you're vomiting over the idea of calling in sick then I really recommend getting some help. It doesn't have to be that way.

You’d think. It’s treated like it’s the most important meeting to have ever existed which adds to my anxiety.

im not on treatment for anxiety (pp asked) I tried sertraline but it didn’t agree with me. Perhaps I need to go back and get something else

All of this is doable

You can get UTI medication online using the Boots app, or I think Doctor Doctor, it'll cost around £20 but you can take a first dose.

Have you prepared the meeting, are you ready with all the information?

You know you have anxiety, have you got any grounding techniques? My favourites in a pinch are sucking on extra strong mints and doing box breathing or muscle scrunching to manage the fear.

If this is too much, then it's too much, no shame in saying you are ill - this may not be the combination of job/colleagues/home situation/health state that is optimum, but we can work with what we've got and there will be a way through it.

I also found bullshit meetings, which everyone thought were of utmost importance to be the most stressful, it became far easier to manage once I concentrated on my contribution rather than the politics and point scoring. Stopping caring (and just doing), really helped with this.

Counterintuitively, working in a truly high stakes environment but with a team all pulling the same way and supportive of eachother was far better personally for mental health, it's not just the anxiety imo it's the situation as well and what's not helping you.

Online Boots for the medication, I did this recently and the antibiotics were ready for me to pick up in 4 hours.

If nothing is going to change soon about your boss then you have two choices. You get some counselling around your anxiety or you find a new job. I really hate that you feel this way, I run a team and I would be mortified if any of them felt this way.

If its actually bullying then it's HR time.

Is it fear of the meeting or fear that you might not be able to go to the meeting which is making you anxious?

I find the making a decision part stressful. If you make a plan you'll feel better. As suggested get onto Boots then try and do your prep as normal.

Is your work environment other than this meeting okay? If so ease of where you can and focus on getting through this. Then go home sick after it if necessary.

I know there are lots saying just don't go in but it depends how this will affect you. I would feel worse knowing that it would be noticed and would worry more about that so overall it would be better for me to push through to it then be off if needed.

Call in sick if you haven't already done so.

Ask your boss what his preference is - present the information himself, circulate by email later or reschedule the meeting?

Participants are unlikely to be fussed. Always a bonus if a death by PowerPoint meeting iis cancelled and details circulated to be ignored read in own time.

Get some antibiotics and hope you feel better soon.