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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To date a friend ?

20 replies

Pillowchilli · 29/08/2023 18:10

So we dated in our teens. Nothing serious however I do think he felt more for me at the time .
We always stayed close throughout the years and have the same friendship group.
We are both approaching 40. Both newly single with 6 DC between us.
Last week we were at a mutual friends wedding, It was a 2 day event. We ended up in bed together both nights.
Apologies in advance as even I’m cringing as I write this but he held me in the morning and I just felt so safe and secure and had this new found attraction to him. Things I hadn’t noticed before it was like I was just seeing him for the first time. I havnt been able to get him out of my head since .
We have been messaging back and forth as normal but ‘it’ hasn’t been mentioned .
Would i be unreasonable to ask him out ? Or say nothing and just carry on normally. Has anyone ever been in this situation before? I should add he is going through a very messy divorce at the minute so I would not want to add any further stress .

OP posts:
OhComeOnFFS · 29/08/2023 18:31

Oooh very exciting!

What was he like with you in the stone cold light of day?

Pillowchilli · 29/08/2023 18:45

@OhComeOnFFS Very affectionate. Really not used to that as my last partner was made of stone 🤣 I looked shockingly bad also with a hangover and next to none sleep

OP posts:
WeeOrcadian · 29/08/2023 18:52

Part of the reply, for me, would be based on why you're newly single

Is there baggage there that might need work?

BTW.... He any good in the sack? Asking for a friend

shellyleppard · 29/08/2023 18:58

Might be worth staying as friends with benefits for now??? If he's going through a messy divorce might not be looking for a relationship straight away??? Hope it works out though..... I'm a hopeless romantic x

Pillowchilli · 29/08/2023 19:05

@WeeOrcadian Yes! Probably why I can’t stop thinking about him haha!
Im single because my ex . Tried to make it work after but the trust was gone.

OP posts:
Pillowchilli · 29/08/2023 19:09

@shellyleppard My head is telling me this but I am also a hopeless romantic and now I can’t seem to shake the idea we should be together.
Have no idea his thoughts on anything . Soooo should I ask him around at the wkend or wait and see does he make a move ?

OP posts:
shellyleppard · 29/08/2023 19:18

Honestly I would be desperate to know!!! I would ask him x really hope it works out for you..... please keep us updated!!! Good luck 🍀❤️🤞

HerNameIsIncontinentiaButtocks · 29/08/2023 19:21

Book him up for the weekend. None of this "waiting" nonsense.

Toddlerteaplease · 29/08/2023 20:00

Since you've already shagged him I think you are a bit more than friends now.

Hotzenplotz · 29/08/2023 20:22

Oh go for it OP, life is short, enjoy it.

Fourlegsandatail · 29/08/2023 20:44

Toddlerteaplease · 29/08/2023 20:00

Since you've already shagged him I think you are a bit more than friends now.

This! Good luck OP!

Curseofthenation · 29/08/2023 20:52

Do it! Life is for living and he's already come back for a second round! I'd say your odds were good as you've already got your friendship as a foundation. Fingers crossed for you OP!

Cowlover89 · 29/08/2023 20:55

Definitely go for it! Hope it works out 🥰 x

Pillowchilli · 22/11/2023 19:52

Just a little update !
We are now official 😁
So far everything has been perfect!
We have been together every weekend since i posted.

Thanks for the nudge ladies!

OP posts:
Bigminnie1 · 22/11/2023 20:00

Lovely news!

Fourlegsandatail · 22/11/2023 20:03

How lovely!

vernatheraven · 22/11/2023 20:47

That's lovely 😻

80skid · 22/11/2023 20:56
Flowers
strawberryjeans · 22/11/2023 20:57

Yay!! Best wishes for a happy future x

strawberry2017 · 22/11/2023 21:10

Love a happy ending to a post! Congratulations

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