To feel a bit aggrieved about this

[MissMarplesNiece]

Every year I look after pet cat for a week or so while relative 1 goes on holiday. Relative 1 never asks me themself (we don't have each others contact details), it's all done via relative 2 and I collect cat from relative 2. Relative 1 never provides food or cat litter so I buy this myself.

At the end of relative 1's holiday, I return cat to them via relative 2. I've never had thanks passed on to me or had a thank you card - even a scribbled note on a postcard. When people looked after my pets in the past I always bought them a small gift as a token of appreciation, but have never received anything from relative 1 - not even a thank you text.

AIBU to feel a bit resentful that relative 1 is saving over £100 on cattery fees but can't even send a few sachets of cat food/some cat litter or even be bothered to say thank you?

Don't do it then? That's a poor show

ok - I'll bite "Every year I look after pet cat for a week or so while relative 1 goes on holiday. Relative 1 never asks me themself (we don't have each others contact details), it's all done via relative 2 and I collect cat from relative 2. Relative 1 never provides food or cat litter so I buy this myself."

WTF are you not being asked by R1, and why didnt you say the first time when there was no food "where is the food??"

I feed the neighbour's cat when they're away (or stuck in Spain ad they are now...)

I wouldn't do it unless everything was provided and I get wine and chocs as a thank you as well.

You are being completely reasonable! My MIL looks after our dog for us and we take all his stuff, portions of food in freezer bags and get her house dog proofed before we go. Pay for a dog walker at hers to make her life a bit easier and brought back a gift and some local food from holiday. Also arranged and paid for a long weekend away for all of us including the dog to say thank you for all the favours she does for us including but not limited to dog sitting. The way I see it We’re not really trying to save the kennels fee so much as leaving the dog somewhere I know he’ll be happy and loved that’s home like so I can have proper peace of mind about him. Any savings are just a bonus.

Why the fuck would you do it even without speaking to the owner and spending your own money on food. Just say no

Just say no! They are a CF.

Just say no.

Decline the next time you get asked. Relative 1 should ask you themselves and not providing any food or litter is outrageous.

Does relative 1 actually know you're looking after their cat?

You need to tell relative 1 that you won’t be looking after their cat any more, @MissMarplesNiece. I’d be blunt and say:

Hi Relative,

I won’t be looking after your cat any more. This is because you don’t provide the food and cat litter your cat needs - I have to pay for that - and not only do you not bother to thank me or buy a token thank-you gift, you don’t even have the manners to ask me in person - it is all done via relative 2.

You are saving serious money in cattery fees, while I pay for the privilege of looking after YOUR pet - and you cannot even be bothered to ask me politely or thank me afterwards. I see no good reason to carry on putting up with this.

Regards,
@MissMarplesNiece .

Exactly!

My daughter used to look after my cat n dog ( before they passed) and l go away a lot..always provided everything for pets and bought a gift.
I now have new cat she will be looking after n the food/ litter / tray will be going.. plus a present.
Either stop or ask for things to be provided.

Stop doing it!

I look after my mum's dogs when she goes away and they come over with little bags packed. Blankets, beds, jackets, little individually portioned boxes of food, treats, toys, list of medications and when to give, paté to aid in the feeding of medications. Last time she even bought little individual baggies of laundry detergent to wash their jackets and blankets because the weather was bad! Now my mum is potty but at minimum they should be providing food and litter and a bottle of something to say thank you! Cheeky bugger.

Are you saying that AT NO POINT in this regular cat-sitting arrangement have you actually had a conversation with or seen the person WHO OWNS THE FUCKING CAT? And you're feeding and providing litter trays for said cat, all this time?

Christ, just tell both relatives to fuck off

This! R2 is charging them for the care and food!

Why on earth would you do all that for someone who won't even thank you? You're crazy for taking that on - it's pure martyrdom.

My exact thought - R2 taking all the credit
plus wine and chocs

What?

Act like a doormat, expect to be walked on…..

This.

I would definitely provide everything if someone was looking after my cat and provide a gift afterwards . My cat is the bees knees, and much as we adore him , we understand anyone else may see it as a small inconvenience to be a slave to his royal purriness for a week .

To be honest if he is at the cattery we still provide all of his food and treats , because we want him to have what he is used to . But then we also take his toys , blanket etc .

Leaving a cat without providing for them is not being fair on you or the cat .

Does the owner know it's you looking after the cat, and not R2? Ask for R1's details. You sound kind, but need to be more assertive. Ask R1 for cat food and cat litter. This is reasonable. You can't force people to thank you, but if you want to look after the cat then you need the owner's details. What if you needed to take kitty to the vet? Do you know the vet's details? Use this as an excuse to contact R1 if necessary.

I’d be inclined to refuse, but If you’re happy to look after the cat you should definitely say yes but that food etc etc needs to be provided.

Ask R2 for R1's contact details.

It would be interesting to see R2's reaction.

Do you think R2 is intercepting cash as payment for the food and care?