To feel a bit aggrieved about this

[MissMarplesNiece]

Every year I look after pet cat for a week or so while relative 1 goes on holiday. Relative 1 never asks me themself (we don't have each others contact details), it's all done via relative 2 and I collect cat from relative 2. Relative 1 never provides food or cat litter so I buy this myself.

At the end of relative 1's holiday, I return cat to them via relative 2. I've never had thanks passed on to me or had a thank you card - even a scribbled note on a postcard. When people looked after my pets in the past I always bought them a small gift as a token of appreciation, but have never received anything from relative 1 - not even a thank you text.

AIBU to feel a bit resentful that relative 1 is saving over £100 on cattery fees but can't even send a few sachets of cat food/some cat litter or even be bothered to say thank you?

That’s so bizarre… why are you not talking directly with the cat’s owner? Why is the cat’s owner not talking directly with you? I wouldn’t be comfortable with that.

And lastly, why are you still agreeing to this arrangement?

This. Is it possible that you are getting legged over by relative 2 here?

I think relative 2 is taking the credit.

Say no next time.

Very bizarre - i think relative 2 must be taking the credit. Just stop doing it.

They're definitely paying relative 2 and getting away with it.

Tell relative 2 to let the cat owner you won't be providing care for the cat. Relative 1 is a cheeky fucker.

I voted you're unreasonable because this is a ludicrous situation to be in.

Why are you allowing them to take advantage of you? Just say no.

Except relative 1 is probably giving relative 2 the money for cat food etc. 😂

Good point.

Relative 2 is a cf. They are getting paid and you aren't.

What would happen in the case of an emergency? A sudden injury or illness with the cat? you need relative ones phone number for emergencies anyway.

why do people agree to these weird situations??

Generally agree with PP - just say no.

But I also wonder about relative 2's role in all this. Is relative 2 pretending to be the one to cat sit and keeping the thank you gifts?

Or has relative 2 said "OP is so increasingly pleased to get to have a cat for a few weeks a year when you go away. No need for you to provide food, she is happy to do it" Or similar. Is, say, relative 2 your mum assuring your aunt that you are so happy to do this?

I'd ask relative 2 for relative 1's contact details and see how relative 2 reacts.

This. Ask for R1 contact details to arrange for reimbursement for cat food / litter..

Actually, can you ask a different relative for relative 1s contact details as it would be interesting to see their reaction without R2 knowing..

This 👆

Relative 1 thinks relative 2 is looking after the cat and knows nothing about your input at all . In future just deal with relative 1 directly or say no .

I'd keep the cat

Why didn't you just say no after the first time? Or at the very least something along the lines of "I'll do it only if Relative 1 provides enough cat food and litter and reimburses me for what I had to pay out last time."

This. Some people are just mugs. I'm a kind person but no way would I be taken for granted like that.

This is odd. I'm not a cat person but even I know that pet owners worry about leaving their pets. DC used to pet sit for a few neighbours, and there were always detailed instructions about feeding and letting them in and out etc.
I just don't believe that a pet owner would not even speak to the person looking after their pet, let alone not supply food and litter.
Therefore the only plausible explanation is that the owner thinks Relative 1 is doing the pet care for the whole of the time that they are away.

I'm also going with the theory that R2 is screwing you over. There's just no other rational explanation for this weird scenario. Do you not have R1s address? I would be going round there for a word. Also tell them you're not doing it again

Is it because you're letting the cat escape and go into unoccupied houses via a strange cat flap and only feeding it crab sticks and icecubes through a window therefore not really 'looking after' the cat? 😉

😂😂

This whole story smells fishy! Cats do not take kindly to being moved about and, if not in a cattery, are usually cared for at home by having someone come in to feed them. It's highly unusual to for a cat to be packed off to someone else's house for a week (unless, maybe, it's an indoor cat).

But, if this story is genuine, I agree with the theory that relative 1 thinks relative 2 is doing the cat sitting (and is providing them with cash for food etc).