To be thinking about leaving work so DS goes back to college?

[ruslan2495]

I have a 17yo DS, hes got a now 1 year old son born last year just after he finished his GCSEs. He wasn't with the mum but he wanted to be involved in his sons life. When grandson was a few months old, his mum decided she wanted to have him adopted. DS refused and said he could live with us (I was also in agreement) he was due to start college but he wanted to care for grandson so we agreed that he could put it off for a year. He did get a job working part time and he still works there now. He is a good dad to grandson, I help out but because I work he takes care of him during the day and makes his meals etc. I keep an eye on him while DS showers and look after him when DS goes out with friends (which is rare) and whilst he's working. The college has a nursery which grandson was going to attend on the days DS has to go. Anyway, the issue is DS is now saying he doesn't want to go to college because he wants to stay at home with grandson and doesn't want him to go to nursery yet as he feels he's too young. He also said he doesn't want to do the course but I know he does. I've now been thinking of quitting my job so he can go and I can look after grandson but will I BU? I don't know what else to do as I want him to attend college.

I think that he should redo English and maths and wait another year before moving on with his education. Many women go back as mature students after a break having children. You could be damaging their bond and his sense of responsibility if you step in now. He could also get overwhelmed or get into the lifestyle of his peer group. I think that you should stop pushing him to go back to college and support him to be a good dad and work part time. He'll only be twenty seven when his child goes to high school and he will have the opportunity to study full time when his son is in school and he is only twenty one.

I don’t enjoy the hours I do at work either but have kids to support so I do them. He either works weekends and supports his child… less qualifications means long hours to earn what you need to live on. Or he goes to college and gets a proper earning potential for himself and his son in future , and takes benefits and childcare to support this. Mine went to childcare from 6 months and are very attached to me and thrived.

Life is tough, he already knows this, but you are doing him no favours by letting him think that you can financially support him forever, he will want his own place eventually. you need to work for your own income and pension.

I understand it’s hard for him and he’s young , im sure you are proud of him op. Unfortunately life takes no prisoners

Can he just go back to do the resits this year and start proper college next year? He thinks things are fine now, but his dad will only pay child support for him for another year. He needs to have a longer term plan for supporting himself and his child. I am not sure he would go to college to do the more advanced course even if you do give up work, so that seems quite a risk on your part. Well done him for being a good dad.

The mum is 18/19 now, DS doesn't know if she works so I'm unsure about whether she earns enough to pay any CMS. I think I will tell him to work more weekends, although it's up to his boss, not him but he could ask.

He did fail English but he is dyslexic so it was kind of expected, he has said previously he doesn't want to resit (as he thinks he’ll fall again) but he needs a pass for the course he wants to do so he knows that he needs to. He passed maths and his grade is fine for the course but he thinks he can get higher.

Ah yes, definitely get him to at least get those GCSEs now. Level 3 courses can wait quite a bit and go back to very easily

Would he be suited for a career in childcare do you think? I'm just wondering what other qualifications are available and might interest him.

They will all went the English pass. So start with that. It’s wrong to suggest FE on a childcare course is doable without English at the required level.