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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wish that people would stop...

49 replies

Fuckmyliferightnow · 28/08/2023 23:59

Saying that getting cancer is 'karma'.

I've read several threads recently where some not very nice people have been diagnosed or suspect they have cancer, cue the onslaught of people claiming that it's karma.

I'm 45 and have had cancer twice.
I must be a terrible person!!

I wish people would think before posting comments like this, it's so damaging.

Nice people get cancer too Sad

OP posts:
TheChosenTwo · 29/08/2023 00:00

The ONLY people I know that have cancer are all lovely 🥺
I don’t really believe in karma anyway.
Hope you’re doing okay now OP 💐

Theoriginalmrscillianmurphy · 29/08/2023 00:01

Of course nice people get cancer.

My ex Sil passed away in 2019, I disliked her very much but I was saddened to hear of her death as she was only 49.

Absolutely disgraceful for anyone to say cancer is karma

Wishing you well op x

Original poster
Fuckmyliferightnow · 29/08/2023 00:03

I'm doing great Smile but this attitude concerns me.

It's very insensitive.

OP posts:
Northernsouloldies · 29/08/2023 00:06

If you've been unfortunate enough to see a loved one die of cancer you certainly wouldn't wish it upon anyone. People who scam charities for money by pretending to have cancer are nothing short of evil.

Fraaahnces · 29/08/2023 00:09

It’s an utterly horrible and at the very least, insensitive thing to say. Also, there is no such thing as karma, or innocent kids wouldn’t starve or die from preventable diseases while Richard Murdoch et.al are virtually immortal.

Thelnebriati · 29/08/2023 00:11

Thats awful - new age types used to say we bring cancer on ourselves. Its such an ignorant thing to say. I don't think people are getting any smarter.

Original poster
Fuckmyliferightnow · 29/08/2023 00:12

I agree.

I think these types of comments should be removed by MNHQ too.

OP posts:
JaneJeffer · 29/08/2023 00:15

I've never seen any comments like that on MN

Original poster
Fuckmyliferightnow · 29/08/2023 00:16

No they aren't.

I'm one the healthier people in my circle and I was unlucky.

Some people have no clue and can't have been touched by the disease to have that opinion.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fuckmyliferightnow · 29/08/2023 00:19

@JaneJeffer it's on the relationship board.

Usually discussing an abusive partner or ex or parent that has cancer.
The amount of people that commented this response was a shock.
One was to do with an ex sex offender who was dying of cancer.

OP posts:
JaneJeffer · 29/08/2023 00:21

Well that's terrible and stupid of them @Fuckmyliferightnow

Awittyfool · 29/08/2023 00:21

Same as @TheChosenTwo . All the people I know that have recently had a terminal or serious cancer diagnosis have been the most lovely people ( even being the nicest if the two if in a couple). My friends have all said the same.

becarefulofyourheart · 29/08/2023 00:23

Being glad someone has cancer is the sort of thing that I’d be worried might lead to bad karma.

Original poster
Fuckmyliferightnow · 29/08/2023 00:25

My brother is dying and doesnt want to say goodbye to his estranged son www.mumsnet.com/Talk/ethical_dilemmas/4862143-my-brother-is-dying-and-doesnt-want-to-say-goodbye-to-his-estranged-son

They have actually recently deleted the comments but you can see how many people have insisted it's karma.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fuckmyliferightnow · 29/08/2023 00:25

I'm actually glad MN are deleting them.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fuckmyliferightnow · 29/08/2023 00:27

DH is EA but he might now have cancer http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4879670-dh-is-ea-but-he-might-now-have-cancer

This is a more recent one.
Wtf?

Anyway, I feel better for having this rant Smile

OP posts:
HardWorkAndLove · 29/08/2023 00:32

It’s obviously not karma. Don’t 1 in 2 people get cancer in their lifetime? But there’s certainly a couple of people who I happily wish cancer or worse on and I’m not sorry for that.

HardWorkAndLove · 29/08/2023 00:35

I think these types of comments should be removed by MNHQ

It looks like they are from the links you’ve posted. I suppose that’s all mumsnet can do. People post all sorts that will offend. Just report.

Original poster
Fuckmyliferightnow · 29/08/2023 00:40

@HardWorkAndLove I understand how you feel, however I just can't bring myself to wish it on anyone.
Even people people who are awful, but that's just me.

OP posts:
Mothership4two · 29/08/2023 00:42

Until your links it was not something I had seen before OP. But, yes, it's insensitive/stupid to call cancer karma even if you believe in karma (which I don't).

Not the point of your thread but I had a conversation with an oncologist who said he gets upset when people talk about how positivity helps patients beat cancer. He said it is just untrue and can make patients feel guilty for feeling understandably down about their condition at times or for not trying hard enough when it is terminal.

HardWorkAndLove · 29/08/2023 00:54

I understand how you feel, however I just can't bring myself to wish it on anyone.
Even people people who are awful, but that's just me.

We’re all different but like I say, I won’t feel bad for wishing the worst possible things including cancer on my father who abused me throughout my childhood. He’s a fucking monster and a painful death is the least he deserves. It won’t be karma though when it hopefully happens.

HeddaGarbled · 29/08/2023 00:55

I don’t think it’s cancer specifically. It’s just that cancer is common so it crops up more often than other illnesses or negative life events. It’s the concept of Karma that’s stupid isn’t it? Lots of horrible people have lovely lives and lots of lovely people have horrible lives. Anyone who believes in Karma is deluded and not very bright.

There are lots of people who say stupid things on the internet. It’s resonating with you because of your personal circumstances but you can just lump it in with ‘people saying stupid things on the internet’ and ignore them.

Mothership4two · 29/08/2023 01:11

Good point, well made @HeddaGarbled

HardWorkAndLove · 29/08/2023 01:14

Anyone who believes in Karma is deluded and not very bright.

This will offend some people though. Should mumsnet delete it? 🤷🏻‍♀️

VeniVidiWeeWee · 29/08/2023 01:18

@HeddaGarbled

"There are lots of people who say stupid things on the internet. It’s resonating with you because of your personal circumstances but you can just lump it in with ‘people saying stupid things on the internet’ and ignore them."

So you're saying that many Hindus are stupid because of their religion?

That could well fall under the UN's definition of hate speech.

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