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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dh to take Dd camping?

98 replies

Dontmentionchristmasyet · 28/08/2023 16:16

Dd is 5, I’ve been ill recently and sadly don’t feel well enough to go on a short camping hol, even though I want to.
Dd is desperate to go camping, it would be for one night (two full days) and around 1.5 hrs away.
I’m probably being really overprotective, but haven’t been away from her overnight, do you think it’s a good idea or you wouldn’t like it?

OP posts:
missmollygreen · 28/08/2023 16:56

She is 5 years old.. not 5 weeks old.
They will have a great time!

Theshining82 · 28/08/2023 16:57

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lightinthebox · 28/08/2023 16:58

Would your husband have the same issues with you taking your DD away by yourself? I understand being protective but not being comfortable your your husband caring for his daughter is really unfair.

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 28/08/2023 16:58

I really don't see the problem. She's five and going away with her dad for the night - of course it's okay!

InSpainTheRain · 28/08/2023 17:05

Of course they should go. DP had to split jolidays when ours were much younger and we both took them camping by ourselves, they will love it!

Original poster
Dontmentionchristmasyet · 28/08/2023 17:07

It’s her dad, isn’t really about him, just more the camping thing, as people have said, needing to go for a wee in the night etc or doing the bbq and her running off, she’s v lively.
I don’t know, I suppose it’s hard to relinquish all the responsibility, since I never take my eyes off her.
Id probably be a lot less concerned if it was a hotel, campsites are just so busy where we are and so open etc, he sleeps heaving and ebeb thinking if she opens the tent early in the morning and goes out or something.
Admittedly I’m thinking of all the worst case scenarios!

OP posts:
Theshining82 · 28/08/2023 17:10

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Maddy70 · 28/08/2023 17:11

Of course it's a great idea. They will both enjoy it

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 28/08/2023 17:11

Dontmentionchristmasyet · 28/08/2023 17:07

It’s her dad, isn’t really about him, just more the camping thing, as people have said, needing to go for a wee in the night etc or doing the bbq and her running off, she’s v lively.
I don’t know, I suppose it’s hard to relinquish all the responsibility, since I never take my eyes off her.
Id probably be a lot less concerned if it was a hotel, campsites are just so busy where we are and so open etc, he sleeps heaving and ebeb thinking if she opens the tent early in the morning and goes out or something.
Admittedly I’m thinking of all the worst case scenarios!

If you don't trust your husband to keep her safe then you have much bigger problems than this.

arethereanyleftatall · 28/08/2023 17:14

I think given your responses....you NEED to let her father take her camping. I'm afraid this type of over protection isn't good for children.

Theshining82 · 28/08/2023 17:14

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Tempone · 28/08/2023 17:15

Jesus, do people actually worry this much about non events?
If he needs a wee he will go to the toilet. If you feel the need bring walkie talkies, but its one night. Just one night.
Op this is not a healthy level of anxiety at all.

lightinthebox · 28/08/2023 17:15

I have a very lively and energetic child, I’d still trust my husband to be capable of looking after her. It’s very worrying that you do not trust your husband to care for your child. Excusing it as you having ‘a lively child’ doesn’t change the fact you see your husband as not being able to care for his daughter.

Have you ever told your husband you think he’s an inadequate father?

Newmumatlast · 28/08/2023 17:15

Dontmentionchristmasyet · 28/08/2023 16:22

Of course I trust Dh, Dd is quite full on though, whether he’ll cope ok 🤷🏻‍♀️Also just only having the one person watching her in a fairly crowded campsite. I’m probably being very over the top, likely just me!

If he's her Dad and you trust him why would he be any less capable than you? And if he is, are there perhaps some wider questions to ask about why and how that can be remedied in future so that he is able to pull his weight?

anotheranotheranotheranother · 28/08/2023 17:16

The toileting would be my biggest issue tbh. There are weekly threads on here about what a dad should do when needing to toilet his young child and there is never a reasonable solution. He can't go in the ladies, do you want her to go in the men's? Disabled should not be an option here, unless of course either of them have a disability. I would also wonder what he would do with her if he needs to go, specifically for a poo. I promise I'm not a troll but I know 100% neither DH or I would be comfortable taking a shit in front of our 5 year old.

We always stayed in hotels so it wasn't an issue as we had a separate bathroom space, but I do think it needs considered.

sanityisamyth · 28/08/2023 17:17

Single parents take their children away a lot. I've been on my own with my DS since he was 1. Both still alive to tell the tale. Let them crack on.

PaganOfTheGoodTimes · 28/08/2023 17:20

My dc were 2 and 6 when DH took them camping for the first time - they all had a great time while I stayed home with a newborn! Your dd will have a blast. It’s hard the first time your little goes without you but enjoy your peaceful time at home.

Original poster
Dontmentionchristmasyet · 28/08/2023 17:22

@anotheranotheranotheranother Yes, it’s things like this, he takes ages having a poo, where will she go 🤷🏻‍♀️It’s different to being at home in the house or a hotel, he can’t leave her in the tent

OP posts:
Original poster
Dontmentionchristmasyet · 28/08/2023 17:23

@Theshining82 Huge jump there

Yes, she’s at school? What’s the relevance?

OP posts:
DinnaeFashYersel · 28/08/2023 17:24

Camping with her dad - go for it!

And then you take some time to put up your feel and relax and recover.

Original poster
Dontmentionchristmasyet · 28/08/2023 17:24

It’s the big campsite thing and possibility of her wandering off/being kidnapped/walking into the road, it can all happen whilst his back is turned doing the bbq or putting up the tent etc etc
Does no one else think like this

OP posts:
redteapot · 28/08/2023 17:26

I get how you feel - if you haven't been away from her overnight before then it will feel very strange. I guess she was a toddler during Covid when you might 'usually' have done this already.
Anyway, yes go for it - they'll have a great time and you'll get chance to rest up and recover. This might not be your favourite suggestion but I would recommend that they go for two nights. When we went camping with my daughter for the first time, we only went for one night and we felt like we missed out a bit because we set the tent up, had the afternoon / evening and went to sleep, and then it was time to pack down again. When we went recently for three nights we had a lot more fun because we had more chance to enjoy it 😊

NotMadeOfStone · 28/08/2023 17:26

She's 5, you can actually take your eyes off of her on the odd occasion!

Mariposista · 28/08/2023 17:28

She wants to go. You don’t. Dad is keen. Let then have some lovely Daddy/daughter time. It would be really selfish to stop them ‘because you’re overprotective’.

Frabbits · 28/08/2023 17:28

She's 5. She's with her dad. Assuming he's a capable parent then of course they can go.