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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this ok for my birthday ?😔

97 replies

Thisnameneedschanging · 27/08/2023 18:14

It's my birthday today and I have been unwell for a few days so feeling a bit low. I always put a lot of thought into DH and DS's birthdays and Christmas etc. I probably over compensate due to a pretty bad childhood.

Today I received a card of DH ( it's wasn't a birthday card) . A mistake which they both thought was very funny and that was it. DS did say I could withhold his pocket money next week and treat myself 😞, after coming back from eating out with his friends which emptied his bank account.

I have no interest in expensive gifts but I love when someone puts thought into something. I am 51 today and I know it's silly but I would actually like to pack my bags. I told them how I felt a few minutes ago and they were not nice.😪

OP posts:
2jacqi · 27/08/2023 20:08

dont say another word to them. throw some things in a bag and jump into the car. go stay in a hotel for tonight

Beautiful3 · 27/08/2023 20:18

Happy birthday. Sorry they've been arseholes. The only way they'll learn is if you do the same back. I'd get them both the wrong card with zero presents. When they question it, just say they did the same on your birthday. If you don't then your son to going to treat all future girlfriends the same way.

escapingthecity · 27/08/2023 20:24

I would not bother to make any effort for their next birthdays, and make plans to be elsewhere for your next one.

Lastchancechica · 27/08/2023 20:35

I am so sad to read your message op. Do you gave friends or family?

I would leave too, without a word. Turn off my phone. They need a wake up call. Order dinner and wine, swim and breakfast in bed.

If I was treated with this level of contempt I would consider a separation.

Elfandwellbeing · 27/08/2023 20:44

Happy Birthday 🎁

kitsuneghost · 27/08/2023 20:45

Am I missing something?
Why are grown women so invested in getting gifts and attention ljustt because it's their birthday?
Why is having a laugh over the wrong card so bad?
You sound like a right misery guts TBH.

HumourReplacementTherapy · 27/08/2023 20:46

Shitheads
🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂Happy Birthday 🎉

MrsMarzetti · 27/08/2023 20:49

Happy birthdayFlowers Now is when you have to realise that they don't care about birthdays so stop going over the top on theirs. Your son is 17 next birthday, buy a card but when it comes to your husbands ignore it completely, no card , no greetings nothing, nada. Start acting like them every single day.

LadyHag · 27/08/2023 20:50

Op, look online at hotels near you, and if you have a few days where you don't need to be in work / at anywhere I would book in for a few days. This is where premier Inn, comfy beds, TV, WiFi, comes in handy!

wizzler · 27/08/2023 20:50

Happy Birthday Op.
I think you are right to be disappointed. Treat yourself tomorrow and put as much effort into their birthdays as they put into yours

Pudmyboy · 27/08/2023 20:55

kitsuneghost · 27/08/2023 20:45

Am I missing something?
Why are grown women so invested in getting gifts and attention ljustt because it's their birthday?
Why is having a laugh over the wrong card so bad?
You sound like a right misery guts TBH.

Because it shows they are remembered and cared for, which is what they do for others.
Think I can guess which way you voted!

Lastchancechica · 27/08/2023 20:56

I think I would have to question whether I wanted to live in a ‘home’ where no one gave a damn about each other.

Pudmyboy · 27/08/2023 21:00

And @Thisnameneedschanging happy birthday! Mumsnet has your back! 🍾🎂💐

SleepingStandingUp · 27/08/2023 21:03

kitsuneghost · 27/08/2023 20:45

Am I missing something?
Why are grown women so invested in getting gifts and attention ljustt because it's their birthday?
Why is having a laugh over the wrong card so bad?
You sound like a right misery guts TBH.

Yes, you are.

Cards and gifts are perfectly standard things that people get each other to show love and care.
You don't need less consideration because you're a woman or because you're over 21. Op isn't less worthy of other people's consideration because she has the audacity to be a woman of a certain age

CandleWick4 · 27/08/2023 21:04

kitsuneghost · 27/08/2023 20:45

Am I missing something?
Why are grown women so invested in getting gifts and attention ljustt because it's their birthday?
Why is having a laugh over the wrong card so bad?
You sound like a right misery guts TBH.

Absolutely fuck off with this.

OP that’s really shit and it’s really not OK for you to be treated like that. As others said try and treat yourself. Happy Birthday x

arethereanyleftatall · 27/08/2023 21:04

Happy birthday op 🥳

The biggest issue I have with how rubbish it is, if that your horrible husband is role modelling to an impressionable term how to é horrible just like him.

If you don't want to divorce (and there isn't enough info to advise one way or the other) then definitely don't get either of them anything on their next birthday. Then can be no possible complaints. And. A 16 year old doesn't need pocket money, he can get a job.

Hibiscrubbed · 27/08/2023 21:04

kitsuneghost · 27/08/2023 20:45

Am I missing something?
Why are grown women so invested in getting gifts and attention ljustt because it's their birthday?
Why is having a laugh over the wrong card so bad?
You sound like a right misery guts TBH.

Fuck off, do.

Hibiscrubbed · 27/08/2023 21:05

I rather suspect you miss a lot, @kitsuneghost.

sodthesodoff · 27/08/2023 21:07

kitsuneghost · 27/08/2023 20:45

Am I missing something?
Why are grown women so invested in getting gifts and attention ljustt because it's their birthday?
Why is having a laugh over the wrong card so bad?
You sound like a right misery guts TBH.

Yeah I think you are missing something. Someone who appreciates you and loves you and shows you that

You should try it sometime.

randomusernam · 27/08/2023 21:09

I'd leave but if you don't I'd definitely would not be putting any effort in to either of their birthdays from now on

Ladybird69 · 27/08/2023 21:10

LTBs yes the pair of them!
Happy Birthday x

Vallmo47 · 27/08/2023 21:11

Happy birthday Op.

YANBU.

These are for you. ♥️ 💐

Is this ok for my birthday ?😔
RunnyPaint · 27/08/2023 21:11

All the best people have August birthdays 🥰🎂 Happy birthday to you!

Some people genuinely don't want to celebrate their birthdays, and that should be respected. However, the behaviour you experienced here has been shit. I wouldn't make an effort for their birthdays in future, but take time for yourself.

Original poster
Thisnameneedschanging · 27/08/2023 21:14

Thank you to all the lovely people who have said such nice things. ❤️

OP posts:
user76541055773 · 27/08/2023 21:15

Happy birthday beautiful 🌸🌺🌼

I think maybe you should go on strike for a few weeks, and tell them why. No doing their cleaning, or laundry, or lunches, or lifts, or anything else you do for them. Give them the opportunity to miss you.