White British with distinctively foreign name

[ThisIsMyUsernameYesItIs]

I was named after a Japanese lady who saved my mum's life while she was heavily pregnant (car accident). I wasn't given a middle name.

I started work at a new company last week. Was introducing myself to some people and someone asked if this was a name I picked myself from an anime. I don't broadcast the backstory and most people don't ask anyway so I do wonder if this was a common conclusion most would arrive at? Would you judge someone for having a foreign name?

YABU I wouldn't assume that you picked the name yourself
YANUB I would assume you picked the name yourself

It was the HR person! Clearly expecting anything other than a British passport!

This makes me think of a book I read, ‘Yellowface’. The white protagonist elected to use her nickname and middle name because they sounded Asian and would gain her advantages in the publishing world (and hide her misdeeds better).

I'm white, British, with a distinctly foreign name. I've been asked if it's really my name, if it's a nickname, did I pick it myself, what's on my passport, etc etc etc. My usual reply is that yes, it is my actual name. I rarely go into the details, even though it's quite an interesting and unusual story. With people I know well, such as friends or long-term colleagues, I'm happy to tell the story, but it's nobody else's business.

People can be so weird about names that they don't understand. Their problem, not mine.

If I met you I would be intrigued, and might - should the circumstances be appropriate - ask something like "Is there a story behind your name?" I would certainly not make any kind of judgement over it, nor assume you were copying anime.

(I recently met a young woman called September, and I did wonder... OTOH April, May and June are given as girls' names, so why not September?)

what a good day to carry on minding my own business

Absolutely love this phrase @LaRevolution

They ought to have a phrase like "those who can, do; those who can't, teach"...

Those who understand workplace law, go into law; those who can't understand workplace law, go into HR

• I'm joking obvs, HR at my current place are great.

I worked with a white British woman whose name was pretty but not really that unusual - even she got asked about it more than once in my earshot. She used to say “I don’t know why I was called this - we are very ordinary family - my sister is called Susan!”

I don’t think asking about the origin of names is usually offensive or judgemental but I think making up your own narrative about where it might have come from (“did you choose it yourself from anime?”) might be pushing it.

Not when it comes to people questioning an unusual name, no.

And as I said, if they don't think they're being rude anyway 🤷‍♂️

Again I find myself at odds with everyone else on Mumsnet, so confused why you need to "mind your own business " ? Why ? What is so awful about showing interest in a colleague and saying " that's a lovely name where is it from ?

I now ( again) feel I'm odd for being curious, I like to learn stuff about people and countries/ cultures etc I do know people who have unique names and there isn't a back story just parents who went rogue when naming their kid , must be bit tedious for that person. Everyone they meet someone to have same convo
It's a unique and special story you have Surely just see it as a get to know you convo starter ? Why the angst ?

I'm white British and have unusual non-English first name and surname. I get asked where my name is from very frequently, occasionally people ask if it is a 'real' name, but rarely. I'm used to explaining it, but try not to do the same with other people.

In my group of friends at university, a number of us had non-English names, but only myself and my white (Serbian origin) friend were ever asked about our names. We all had names from the country / regions of our parents but everyone was too polite to ask our non-white friends where their names were from.

I'd assume your parents named you. I'd also assume that you had heritage from that country or parents had some connection (used to live there etc.) I wouldn't ask until I knew you better. Upon meeting would not comment anyone's name.

I've had this at work, guy had a really Middle Eastern name. I'd only contacted him by email but met him in my local one night and was quite surprised that he was white Scottish.
I didn't ask him where he got his name from or commented on it, none of my business.

Incredibly weird assumption that you named yourself. If I thought about it at all I'd assume that your parents named you, and that they either really loved Japan, or one of them had Japanese heritage, or some other personal connection. Why wouldn't your colleague assume that your parents love anime, for example? I actually do know someone named after a very famous anime character, and it was the parents who were the anime nerds. My favourite ever name is a girls Japanese name, but with no Japanese connection (and no DDs, only sons!) I couldn't use it. I would have for a DD with even the most tenuous connection, though.

Unless - is your name the name of a famous anime character that has only been around for a few years, and so not possible for your parents to have known? It's the only explanation I can think of. I bet your colleague is sat at home wondering, "why the fuck did I say that out loud to Akira?".

@pimplebum it isn't always what you say but the way you say it.

So if you are going to be nosey about someone's name, like the OP's, it is less offensive to ask if there is a story behind it rather than implying that the OP chose a name herself due to liking something.

Then if the OP declines to answer you just need to simply accept she doesn't want to talk about her name.

Btw I'm randomly asked about my DD's names.Though it tends to be by medical staff who look like they could soon be parents or grandparents.

I used to know someone who was white British but had been given a middle Eastern name at birth. She changed it to a very similar English name because she was unable to fly without being pulled aside for questioning

My children don't have an ounce of Japanese in them but they have Japanese names and yes 1 of them is named from an anime.

I absolutely love Japanese names and I don't bat an eyelid at anyone with 'foreign' names. I'm very passionate about Japan and the culture.

If the anime named child doesn't like their name when they are older they have a british middle name to use.

All of my kids names are unique and beautiful and in my opinion are so much nicer than the boring names you hear nowadays.

What is a middle eastern name?

As there are a few dominate religions in the middle east.

I think it's great to have a genuine (and polite) interest in people's heritage but the reality is that for a lot of people of non-UK heritage in the UK, this "polite interest" is often a thinly disguised "why are you brown" or "why does your name sound funny", and I imagine it's quite tiring.

You don't have to spend much time on the baby name board to see the small-mindedness and narrow worldview that a surprising number of people have.

Aoi think if you could guarantee that any queries about heritage/naming backstories were coming from a place of genuine interest, with no othering or subtext, that might be OK. But no-one can, frustratingly.

Do you want me to tell you her actual name?!

Why do you need such specifics about this random situation?

They're probably just normal names in japanese, hardly unique...

No you can simply say what religion/heritage/ethnicity it originates from.

I have said one of my own DD names is Arabic/Irish/Japanese. (Though has slightly different meanings).

Arabic is seen as middle eastern, but so are some Kurdish, Persian and Hebrew names plus a few more cultures.

@FasciaDreams even in Japan the one with the anime name wouldn't be used as a name because it means something they do everyday....
The other one yes it's used as a name and is quite common in Japan but considering we don't live in Japan, and we live in the UK they are unique and beautiful. You will never come across another child with anime child's name here nor will you come across my other child's name here on a regular basis.

Also this thread wasn't about common names in Japan its about Japanese names in the UK (given to white British people)

That's such a beautiful gesture your Mum made. What a special story

I’d wonder if you had been raised in Japan by non-Asian parents (either foreigners or “nationalized” Japanese. Used to be very rare but becoming commoner. https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=日本で育った外国人

I've known a couple of people with very unusual foreign names and in both cases they got their name because their parents liked it. That was it. So I would just say, if anyone asks, 'My parents just liked the name' and leave it at that.