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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU: Elderly parents do not care about their impact on the environment

481 replies

Scientistathome · 27/08/2023 08:07

My elderly parents acknowledge (in passing) that the human impact on the planet is destructive and that their family's future could be jeopardized.
However, they refuse to do anything about it. They burn gas and electricity in summer to keep warm (extra jumper? Nooo!), Will not Install solar panels (they can afford it), take unnecessary flights, ... the list goes on.
They flaty refuse to change any habits despite that they know they should and could.
I get quite mad with them!
AIBU?
I know it is their choice, not mine but it affects all of us (their grandchildren are quite disgusted with them).
Are other people's parents like this?
(I know that some parents cannot afford eco-friendly choices like solar panels)

OP posts:
CaptainSeven · 27/08/2023 16:15

I'm mid forties and was cloth nappied. As was my DSis in her early 40s.

Parents didn't have a car, we didn't holiday or holiday abroad and all the tech an convenience goods/foods we have now didn't exist.

My Grandparents were war generation so grew up with all sorts of frugal and green habits. My dear grandad tied parcels with string and kept a saved roll of it until he died.

Our consumerist lifestyle only really started in the 1980s.

How old are your parents OP? I've one in his 70s the other should be in her sixties but died over 35 years ago...

I'm not sure refusing solar panels and having flights makes them awful.

It would be interesting to carry out some sort of lifetime carbon audit to compare really.

Goldcircle · 27/08/2023 16:16

So you get to decide if a flight is essential? Maybe they really feel the cold and don’t want to put a jumper on? SP, wtf?

ManchesterLu · 27/08/2023 16:16

Concentrate on how YOU'RE saving the planet, and let everyone else live the lives they choose. You sound so annoying.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 27/08/2023 16:23

MetalFences · 27/08/2023 16:14

The OP has stated they are a heterosexual with a Y chromosome on a previous thread regarding their spare room.

Show quote history

Wouldn't it just be easier to type 'man here'?

MrsCarson · 27/08/2023 16:32

If your parents are elderly, I bet that if you added their carbon footprint up and compared it to yours. Yours would be bigger. They grew up in a time of no long distance deliveries of food (you ate seasonally) products still came in glass that was recycled, not plastic and no such things as bag for life or plastic wrapped food. Cars weren't owned by everyone in the house, then usually one in the family and flights all over were quite rare or few and far between back then.
Leave them alone.

sarahh96 · 27/08/2023 16:33

Climate change is purely down to the evolution of the planet, it has nothing to do with us! Nature will look after itself....if we let it!

Angrycat2768 · 27/08/2023 16:41

I don't think you can expect people to do major things like put solar panels on their roof, but my mil buys about 10 bottles of water a week. My bil bought her a water filter jug but she doesn't use it. I do eye roll about that, especially as she is very into environmental issues.She just likes to complain about how awful everyone else is while she chugs bottled water!

LuckySantangelo35 · 27/08/2023 17:45

Why are people so ageist on mumsnet?!

honestly older people are only valued in any way it if they are giving parents free childcare to parents EXACT specifications. If they don’t do that, well go no contact and Chuck em in a home

Nanny0gg · 27/08/2023 17:47

LuckySantangelo35 · 27/08/2023 17:45

Why are people so ageist on mumsnet?!

honestly older people are only valued in any way it if they are giving parents free childcare to parents EXACT specifications. If they don’t do that, well go no contact and Chuck em in a home

An age-old question... (sorry)

I don't know. Is it a reflection of society as a whole?

SoIinvictus · 27/08/2023 17:48

LuckySantangelo35 · 27/08/2023 17:45

Why are people so ageist on mumsnet?!

honestly older people are only valued in any way it if they are giving parents free childcare to parents EXACT specifications. If they don’t do that, well go no contact and Chuck em in a home

They're very valuable when their MNer kids want them to give up their houses and move to some bedsit so their spawn can move up the property ladder.
If they chuck them in a home, make sure they've indulged in a bit of asset deprivation first. Can't have dad's final days leeching away at the inheritance.

Soontobe60 · 27/08/2023 17:49

LauraNorda · 27/08/2023 08:11

The best thing they could have done for the environment was not have any children.

😂😂😂😂

Yoghurtpotsatdawn · 27/08/2023 18:01

I’m in my 60s. I didn’t get on a plane until I was in my late 20s. We bought our food from the local shops, walked home with it in wheelie trolleys. We walked to school and back. Can’t remember there being much plastic stuff. My mum knitted our jumpers, made my dresses and my jeans, toys and games were hand me downs from my DBs. No online orders, one holiday by car to wales or the nearest seaside in a B&B. When I started work I went by bus. When I had DC we didn’t go on holidays overseas until they were in their teens as we couldn’t afford it. Many toys and books were passed down from cousins or bought from charity shops. I’d say my carbon footprint has been pretty light compared with todays generation. I’m older, with bad arthritis and if I want to stick the heating on to feel more comfortable, I’m not going to be made to feel like an eco-terrorist. I spent my childhood in a freezing, damp house and I’m buggered if I’m going to suffer any more than I have to now.

MetalFences · 27/08/2023 18:03

Wouldn't it just be easier to type 'man here'?

Is he interested in ease? Or is he interested in drama?

QuestionableMouse · 27/08/2023 18:10

Scientistathome · 27/08/2023 08:36

Thanks everyone for your messages; on average, it seems that I am living in an 'eco-bubble' and not in step with Mumsnet users. And I am being unreasonable!

For the record, we did install solar panels, we try to reduce footprint (lower thermostat, less plastic use, take public transport, only 1 car, etc)

Personally, I expect less from younger generations as they have less money to pay for lifestyle changes (DS has had same phone for many years!). I feel that the burden of change should fall on older generations (including myself) as they often have more resources with which to do it.

@Scientistathome please look up the origin of "carbon footprint". It was invented by BP!

ChallengeAnneka · 27/08/2023 18:21

borntobequiet · 27/08/2023 10:22

I’m an elderly parent and have been environmentally conscious and active since the 1970s. It’s not a generational thing.

I agree, some people like to work themselves up into a frenzy about this kind of situation, but it’s not a generational thing. There are good people and arseholes across the age range.

LuckySantangelo35 · 27/08/2023 18:26

Yoghurtpotsatdawn · 27/08/2023 18:01

I’m in my 60s. I didn’t get on a plane until I was in my late 20s. We bought our food from the local shops, walked home with it in wheelie trolleys. We walked to school and back. Can’t remember there being much plastic stuff. My mum knitted our jumpers, made my dresses and my jeans, toys and games were hand me downs from my DBs. No online orders, one holiday by car to wales or the nearest seaside in a B&B. When I started work I went by bus. When I had DC we didn’t go on holidays overseas until they were in their teens as we couldn’t afford it. Many toys and books were passed down from cousins or bought from charity shops. I’d say my carbon footprint has been pretty light compared with todays generation. I’m older, with bad arthritis and if I want to stick the heating on to feel more comfortable, I’m not going to be made to feel like an eco-terrorist. I spent my childhood in a freezing, damp house and I’m buggered if I’m going to suffer any more than I have to now.

@Yoghurtpotsatdawn

well said 👏

don’t see how anyone could argue otherwise

Kaz40s · 27/08/2023 18:32

Yoghurtpotsatdawn · 27/08/2023 18:01

I’m in my 60s. I didn’t get on a plane until I was in my late 20s. We bought our food from the local shops, walked home with it in wheelie trolleys. We walked to school and back. Can’t remember there being much plastic stuff. My mum knitted our jumpers, made my dresses and my jeans, toys and games were hand me downs from my DBs. No online orders, one holiday by car to wales or the nearest seaside in a B&B. When I started work I went by bus. When I had DC we didn’t go on holidays overseas until they were in their teens as we couldn’t afford it. Many toys and books were passed down from cousins or bought from charity shops. I’d say my carbon footprint has been pretty light compared with todays generation. I’m older, with bad arthritis and if I want to stick the heating on to feel more comfortable, I’m not going to be made to feel like an eco-terrorist. I spent my childhood in a freezing, damp house and I’m buggered if I’m going to suffer any more than I have to now.

Here here!! Good for you 💗

WeetabixTowels · 27/08/2023 18:33

Bethanbee · 27/08/2023 14:41

I can't understand why so many people on this thread are angry that somebody would be expected to not do as much as much environmental damage as they possibly could. It's quite scary. No wonder governments aren't doing anything meaningful to help.

Perhaps because they’re old, have more than done their bit over the decades and now want to be warm in their home.

WeetabixTowels · 27/08/2023 18:35

NetZeroZealot · 27/08/2023 16:04

Why are people assuming the OP is male?

Because on another thread he posted he was.

Well actually he said he was ‘someone with a Y chromosome’ 😂😂😂

WeetabixTowels · 27/08/2023 18:39

Angrycat2768 · 27/08/2023 16:41

I don't think you can expect people to do major things like put solar panels on their roof, but my mil buys about 10 bottles of water a week. My bil bought her a water filter jug but she doesn't use it. I do eye roll about that, especially as she is very into environmental issues.She just likes to complain about how awful everyone else is while she chugs bottled water!

I only drink bottled water. Tap water, even if filtered, tastes disgusting. The bottles get recycled or re-used.

WeetabixTowels · 27/08/2023 18:39

LuckySantangelo35 · 27/08/2023 17:45

Why are people so ageist on mumsnet?!

honestly older people are only valued in any way it if they are giving parents free childcare to parents EXACT specifications. If they don’t do that, well go no contact and Chuck em in a home

Yep! Posters encourages others to be the biggest cunts ever to their elderly parents is depressing as hell

Kaz40s · 27/08/2023 18:40

Why did he not post on reddit or something?! He knew he'd have been totally called out on his arseholeness. Possibly expecting a more sympathetic approach on mumsnet?? Don't think so 😂😂😂

WeetabixTowels · 27/08/2023 18:41

Well said @Yoghurtpotsatdawn

Pottedpalm · 27/08/2023 18:48

LuckySantangelo35 · 27/08/2023 17:45

Why are people so ageist on mumsnet?!

honestly older people are only valued in any way it if they are giving parents free childcare to parents EXACT specifications. If they don’t do that, well go no contact and Chuck em in a home

Yep. People are very strange on here!

Daphnis156 · 27/08/2023 18:57

What a priggish, judgemental child you are.

They must dread seeing you and the Stepford children.

I hope you are not inheriting their house, they should take out equity release and spend the money on holidays and flights, leaving you nothing- that would be green enough!

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