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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU: Elderly parents do not care about their impact on the environment

481 replies

Scientistathome · 27/08/2023 08:07

My elderly parents acknowledge (in passing) that the human impact on the planet is destructive and that their family's future could be jeopardized.
However, they refuse to do anything about it. They burn gas and electricity in summer to keep warm (extra jumper? Nooo!), Will not Install solar panels (they can afford it), take unnecessary flights, ... the list goes on.
They flaty refuse to change any habits despite that they know they should and could.
I get quite mad with them!
AIBU?
I know it is their choice, not mine but it affects all of us (their grandchildren are quite disgusted with them).
Are other people's parents like this?
(I know that some parents cannot afford eco-friendly choices like solar panels)

OP posts:
BaroldandNedmund · 27/08/2023 11:39

In my town, the kids leave their plastic bottle and rubbish strewn all over the park and often in the river and groups of elderly volunteers pick it up, even going into the river in fishing gear.

I’d say that a lot of elderly people don’t have as much awareness but they naturally consume less. Younger people do have far more awareness but consume far more.

OilOfRoses · 27/08/2023 11:39

WeetabixTowels · 27/08/2023 11:20

As an aside there’s a special place in hell for parents who raise their kids as Eco Twats. As in, they tell them their special little cause trumps the feelings of humans. There’s a girl in DD’s class (whose hippy parents support JSO) who stages protests at lunch time about not cutting down trees (who the fuck is she protesting to?! They haven’t felled a bloody tree at the school for years). On a few occasions she sat in tress and refused to move and encourages other kids to do it too. Very disruptive for the other kids and one day the class missed swimming because by the time they got the ‘eco warriors’ out the trees it was too late to set off. Parents support darling little eco warrior’s cause of course. And then the same child badgered the Head to impose a ‘no meat Monday’s’ at the school. And eventually succeeded - despite the fact that some parents told the head their fussy eater wouldn’t eat a thing of meat wasn’t available, and it would affect others with allergies too. But no, Precious had to have her no meat Mondays. She’s not a vegan BTW she’s a vegetarian because being a vegan is ‘too hard’ 🙄 so it’s alright for her fussiness to be pandered to but not other children.

No meat Mondays lasted 2 weeks BTW because of the wasted food

Are these kids attempting to emulate Greta with their solo protests? At least she did it in a location where it made some impact.

Cotswoldbee · 27/08/2023 11:43

Shame the OP had not come back to fight their corner. ☹️

JudgeJ · 27/08/2023 11:47

yogasaurus · 27/08/2023 08:09

I can afford solar panels, I don’t want them thank you. And who decides if a flight is ‘unnecessary’, you?

This type of hectoring is what turns people off from listening

Thanks, saved me having to write exactly this! Hectoring on any topic tends to make my hackles rise.

Yoghurtpotsatdawn · 27/08/2023 11:48

YABVU

i don’t think I could get worked up about two older people sticking their heating on and going on holidays, before they shuffle off this mortal coil, when there’s entire countries bombing other countries into oblivion, wrecking every aspect of the environment and every scrap of wildlife in the process. Our government is pouring sewage into the sea, while flying by private jets to discuss 0 emissions at conferences.

Every single one of us could do more. Even when we have given up our cars, solar panelled our entire house, bought 5 types of waste sorting bins, don’t order anything on-line and eat a vegan diet, we would still be be-fouling the planet by farting. I hope your DPs make the most of the time that’s left to them, go where they want, keep warm and spend the money they’d have forked out on solar panelling on tee shirts to wear round the house in December. I think the contempt you and your DC hold them in, is really sad.

BogRollBOGOF · 27/08/2023 11:48

Even if people in their 60s/ 70s are less environmentally concious than usual, their youth will have been very light on consumption and travel, and going forwards to their 80s when life slows down, thing like travel tend to dwindle quite rapidly.

It's the past 30-40 years that have really seen a growth and peak in consumption.

What an aging household consumes is nothing compared to the scale of energy usage and consumption based on fossil fuels in places like Saudi Arabia.

Heyhoherewegoagain · 27/08/2023 11:49

yogasaurus · 27/08/2023 08:09

I can afford solar panels, I don’t want them thank you. And who decides if a flight is ‘unnecessary’, you?

This type of hectoring is what turns people off from listening

I totally agree with this. I try to be quite conscious of my impact and do make some changes, but the more someone lectures me, the more I switch off

mydogisthebest · 27/08/2023 11:49

OP if you are so concerned about the planet and climate change why did you have children?

I hope you are all vegetarian, walk rather than drive, don't fly anywhere etc.

Maybe your children should be disgusted with the younger generation who think it is ok to go to music festivals and then leave everything behind and, yes, I mean literally everything - tents, sleeping bags, chairs, tables, clothes, food, drink, food packaging etc.

Justrolledmyeyesoutloud · 27/08/2023 11:50

WeetabixTowels · 27/08/2023 11:20

As an aside there’s a special place in hell for parents who raise their kids as Eco Twats. As in, they tell them their special little cause trumps the feelings of humans. There’s a girl in DD’s class (whose hippy parents support JSO) who stages protests at lunch time about not cutting down trees (who the fuck is she protesting to?! They haven’t felled a bloody tree at the school for years). On a few occasions she sat in tress and refused to move and encourages other kids to do it too. Very disruptive for the other kids and one day the class missed swimming because by the time they got the ‘eco warriors’ out the trees it was too late to set off. Parents support darling little eco warrior’s cause of course. And then the same child badgered the Head to impose a ‘no meat Monday’s’ at the school. And eventually succeeded - despite the fact that some parents told the head their fussy eater wouldn’t eat a thing of meat wasn’t available, and it would affect others with allergies too. But no, Precious had to have her no meat Mondays. She’s not a vegan BTW she’s a vegetarian because being a vegan is ‘too hard’ 🙄 so it’s alright for her fussiness to be pandered to but not other children.

No meat Mondays lasted 2 weeks BTW because of the wasted food

Ugh what a family of pricks.

JudgeJ · 27/08/2023 11:52

Gowlett · 27/08/2023 08:28

My mum absolutely despises Greta Thunberg.

Plenty of young people can't stand anyone sanctimonious and preachy!

CurlewKate · 27/08/2023 11:53

"Sanctimonious and preachy"
AKA-saying things that are hard to hear.....

jays · 27/08/2023 11:54

Scientistathome · 27/08/2023 08:07

My elderly parents acknowledge (in passing) that the human impact on the planet is destructive and that their family's future could be jeopardized.
However, they refuse to do anything about it. They burn gas and electricity in summer to keep warm (extra jumper? Nooo!), Will not Install solar panels (they can afford it), take unnecessary flights, ... the list goes on.
They flaty refuse to change any habits despite that they know they should and could.
I get quite mad with them!
AIBU?
I know it is their choice, not mine but it affects all of us (their grandchildren are quite disgusted with them).
Are other people's parents like this?
(I know that some parents cannot afford eco-friendly choices like solar panels)

I think it’s really sad that their grandchildren are ‘disgusted’ with their grandparents for putting the heating on. They won’t be here forever, life is too short to feel that level of anger or annoyance with them over this in my opinion.

WeetabixTowels · 27/08/2023 11:56

CurlewKate · 27/08/2023 11:53

"Sanctimonious and preachy"
AKA-saying things that are hard to hear.....

No.

Theres a way of saying it to engage and interest people rather than turning them off.

Telling elderly people to turn their heating down will not make them enlightened and aware.

JudgeJ · 27/08/2023 11:56

If I had DGC and they were 'disgusted' with me (and I bet the OP's children don't hide their disdain for the oldies) I wouldn't be giving a fuck or caring about their welfare either.

Actually I would be worried about their welfare, especially their brains which have been so well washed!
I would also save my daughter the embarrassment of having a large inheritance when I die, I'd leave it to some charity she dislikes.

Bethanbee · 27/08/2023 11:59

I agree with you OP. People act like you are either into being mindful of the environment or you are not and both are valid choices. But they are not. Millions of people are going to die. They are going to die because other people were big consumers, took lots of flights, drove SUVs, put their heating on instead of wearing jumpers etc. Not wasting oil, gas and petrol and not taking frequent flights or buying lots of 'stuff' is not even a big effort. It should be the minimum decent people make for those that come behind them.

Fingeronthebutton · 27/08/2023 12:00

OP
I applaud your sentiment but we may as well piss in the wind now. It’s too late to turn the thermostat down etc etc etc. We can’t stop it now.

Blowyourowntrumpet · 27/08/2023 12:07

Bloody hell, leave them alone

JellyOnPlate · 27/08/2023 12:12

OP I am shocked by all the responses you have got. You might be a bit OTT. But so many people.noy giving a stuff about the environment and being rude to you, bizarre.

JohnnyYenSetHimselfOnFireAgain · 27/08/2023 12:12

WeetabixTowels · 27/08/2023 11:26

also are we meant to think it’s relevant that the kids are disgusted.? Imagine being so arrogant that you think your crotch goblin’s opinions of two people who’ve lived int he world for decades, contributed to society, lived through some of the worst times of austerity and hardship, is in any way relevant.

"Crotch goblin" 😂😂😂

Middleagedmeangirls · 27/08/2023 12:13

Your parents probably grew up when there was no CH and ice on the inside of bedroom windows was normal, people shopped locally and seasonally, there were no takeaways or UPF, there weren't any single use plastics, very few people had cars, daily baths/showers were unusual, ordinary people didn't fly etc. if that's the case their impact on the planet through the years has been very light compared with younger people who take all of the above for granted.

it's hard to change as you get older. Give them a break. Make the changes you want to see in your own life and MYOB.

Zebedee55 · 27/08/2023 12:18

Oh good...another ageist thread lol

Last week pensioners were costing too much, and starving the younger generation by living too well and for too long.

Now, we're single-handedly trashing the planet..🙄

Well, I haven't had my heating on since April, because I've not needed it. But, the minute I do, it's going on.🔥

No way am I walking about swaddled in blankets, hoodie or endless jumpers. My fuel use is between me, the fuel company and my bank account.

On the plus side, I don't drive, I can't fly anywhere any more, and I'm not rearing another young generation to destroy the planet further. Can OP say the same?

Can't wait until I see what boomers are responsible for next lol

Meantime, I'm just glad I'm not related to any disgusted relatives...😬

WeetabixTowels · 27/08/2023 12:19

Bethanbee · 27/08/2023 11:59

I agree with you OP. People act like you are either into being mindful of the environment or you are not and both are valid choices. But they are not. Millions of people are going to die. They are going to die because other people were big consumers, took lots of flights, drove SUVs, put their heating on instead of wearing jumpers etc. Not wasting oil, gas and petrol and not taking frequent flights or buying lots of 'stuff' is not even a big effort. It should be the minimum decent people make for those that come behind them.

Do you realise old people die from being too cold? Or are they expendable because they’re old?

An elderly couple turning down the thermostat will not save any lives. In fact if it makes them unwell and they take up hospital beds and the impact a hospital bed has, it’s actually worse

God I’d be REALLY upset if I lived to old age and I raised such a twat of a human that they got pissy because I wanted to wear a t-shirt in my own home and be warm at the same time. Hang your fucking heads in shame.

JohnnyYenSetHimselfOnFireAgain · 27/08/2023 12:19

Bethanbee · 27/08/2023 11:59

I agree with you OP. People act like you are either into being mindful of the environment or you are not and both are valid choices. But they are not. Millions of people are going to die. They are going to die because other people were big consumers, took lots of flights, drove SUVs, put their heating on instead of wearing jumpers etc. Not wasting oil, gas and petrol and not taking frequent flights or buying lots of 'stuff' is not even a big effort. It should be the minimum decent people make for those that come behind them.

The UK contributes 1% to climate change. Until you get the likes of China, India and the US properly on board you're just pissing in the wind.

WeetabixTowels · 27/08/2023 12:20

JellyOnPlate · 27/08/2023 12:12

OP I am shocked by all the responses you have got. You might be a bit OTT. But so many people.noy giving a stuff about the environment and being rude to you, bizarre.

Who has said they don’t give a stuff about the environment?

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