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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Siblings and inheritance

115 replies

ShawleyNot · 26/08/2023 00:00

Posting for advice/opinions/ anything really. My dad passed away many years ago and everything went to mum. My sister (plus her husband and two children) moved back to the family home during lockdown - was supposed to be temporary but became permanent. They moved for financial reasons at the time but since found jobs and are earning money... and just stayed, it worked for them so no one questioned it.
My mum passed away earlier this week and the Will says that everything is split between me and my sister. There's not a lot apart from the house, but she is insisting that mum wanted her to have it and live in it and we can't sell it.
What rights do I have? On one hand id feel completely awful to kick her out, on the other hand she can afford to rent or her half if we sold it would pay for a sizeable deposit, but she's insisting she needs to stay.
I don't "need" the money but we're not particularly well off.

OP posts:
MadelineZott · 26/08/2023 00:06

She needs to either buy you out or the house gets sold and the proceeds split between you. Who is executor? If a solicitor, they shouldn't entertain her nonsense. Obviously your mum made it clear to you that she wanted you to have half.

Stompythedinosaur · 26/08/2023 00:06

If your mum had wanted her to have the house, it would be reflected in the will. I doubt she wanted you to have nothing. I think your sister needs to get a mortgage to buy you out if she wants to stay in the house.

Julietta05 · 26/08/2023 00:07

I would seek legal advice regarding this, in the end of the day it is also your inheritance that you can pass to your own children (if you have any).

rocke · 26/08/2023 00:08

So sorry for your loss. If the will stipulates that everything is split 50/50 then that is what needs to happen. Would she be able to get a mortgage and buy you out? If not then she needs to move and the house be sold.

Weenurse · 26/08/2023 00:08

Go through lawyers.
Offer to sell and split the proceeds or get valuations and have her buy you out.
Either that or they can sign a tenant agreement and pay you rent with the house to be sold at x point in the future ( kids finish school, you retire or whatever is thought to be appropriate)
Lawyers can use legal speak in letters about how she and her family have benefited from the use of the house and reduced cost of living etc. while you did not have that benefit.
It will probably ruin your relationship though, as she is expecting it all and does not sound like she is willing to compromise.

BaronessBomburst · 26/08/2023 00:09

She could buy you out. If they are both working they may be able to raise a mortgage for the 50%.

Giddypup · 26/08/2023 00:09

Sorry about your mum. If you haven’t already, then you need to speak to the solicitor about any wishes your mum has made with regards to the house, but I’d imagine if it’s split 50/50 then there won’t be much your sister can do other than to buy you out. What’s your relationship like with her? If her and her husband are both working then surely that will allow for them to rent or get a mortgage ( along with a deposit from the sale of the property).

Tinkerbyebye · 26/08/2023 00:33

I am sorry about your Mum

however your Mum has also had a lot of time to change her will to reflect what your sister says, and hasnt

so go by the will, if they can’t buy you out then sell

lapsedbookworm · 26/08/2023 00:36

They either rent your half from you or it gets sold. Anything else isn't fair. I'd tell them you are allowing them a couple of months to get used to the idea and decide which option they prefer?

poetryandwine · 26/08/2023 00:41

The problem is that your sister only gets to stay by being unfair to you. I agree that if this is what your mum would have wanted, her will would have said that. As your sister can afford to move, pay you rent or possibly even buy you out, please do not dishonour your own relationship with your DM by letting her manipulate you.

If you find it difficult to stand up for yourself, consult a solicitor. Best wishes, OP

lalafox · 26/08/2023 00:47

With no right to reside in the will for your sister she doesn't have a leg to stand on. Your mum didn't make provisions in her will to allow your sister to stay. Go through a solicitor. The property is 50% yours. It's either sold or she buys you out.

Trenchfootinthescottishhighlandstoday · 26/08/2023 00:56

Your dsis isn't afraid to scam you so leave it to the legals op . The relationship is ruined anyway imo. Get what your dm wanted you to have..

happinessischocolate · 26/08/2023 01:16

I'm sorry you've lost your mum, it's hard, you have my sympathy.

I cared for my mum for last 3 years of her life whilst she descended into dementia.

My sister was abroad and couldn't help even if by a long chance she had wanted to.

Towards the end my mum said she wanted me to have everything. Doesn't matter the will said 50/50 and that's the law. I didn't care for mum for a bigger or whole slice of the inheritance, she's my mum.

Mum died. Will read.'probate granted. Property sold and split 50/50

You need probate. Your sister needs to give you half of the agreed value or you both sell the property and receive your half

HeddaGarbled · 26/08/2023 01:21

Everyone above is right, but don’t do anything right now. Leave it a few weeks.

JaukiVexnoydi · 26/08/2023 01:27

She is being a shitty and horrible sister by trying to deny you your share of the inheritance, to her own profit, selfish and nasty. Don't feel guilty about "causing" a rift bt refusing to be a doormat and standing up for your rights. She is actually the one causing problems by being so jaw-droppingly unreasonable in the first place.

RosaKim · 26/08/2023 01:49

Your DSIS is a CF

Poivresel · 26/08/2023 01:55

You can sell it and either she buys your half or she moves out.

SunRainStorm · 26/08/2023 02:00

Good god, your sister isn't wasting any time is she?

This is an emotional time. Tell her you're mourning your mother this week, and the rest can wait.

When the time is right, say you're leaving it with the lawyers- you don't want to compromise your relationship with her by negotiating or debating it yourselves.

She is out of her mind expecting you to gift the majority of your inheritance to her. She's already had an incredible financial advantage by living there, presumably rent free, for years.

As PPs have said- lawyers will advise you that she can buy you out, or you can rent your half to her, or you can force a sale.

She's had plenty of time to save a deposit, and she's now receiving half a house for free. She has no business feeling hard done by.

BasiliskStare · 26/08/2023 02:16

I am sorry to hear about your mum. Very sad

To your post and what are your rights - they are exactly what your mother stipulated in her will - she wanted you to have half of what she had including the house. Just get the will with a solicitor and they can tell tell Dsis she can buy out your half or it is sold. Given she is living there I suspect she won't make it easy - but given how she is acting there isn't a way in a month of Sundays I would rent my half to them - I would bet the farm you'll never see the rent for her half.

Horrid situation , but were it me I would just get the solicitor to explain half the house inter alia is yours and so she needs to buy you out or it is sold. I suspect it will be a rocky time but stick out for the sale or her buying your half . That is what I would do.

How horrid you are having to deal with this as well as losing your Mum
All the very best to you

CherryMaDeara · 26/08/2023 02:21

That house is half yours, OP. Sell the house and get what you’re entitled to.

Your sister is being a greedy bitch.

Threenow · 26/08/2023 02:26

She has in effect been left half of a house, so, unless there is anything in the Will to the contrary, she either has to move out, or buy out your half. If your DM had wanted her to have the house it would have been in the Will. Get legal advice if necessary.

I'm sorry for your loss Flowers, and also that you are having to deal with this nonsense.

HoppingPavlova · 26/08/2023 02:30

If they want to stay, they need to buy out your 50%. You say they are both working, so why would this be an issue? They can’t just camp there forever without compensating you for your 50%.

SD1978 · 26/08/2023 02:44

If it says 50/50 it's 50/50. Dos they pay to live there? They were given a massive opportunity to save. If they didn't that's not on you and I'd be getting in someone to value the property. If they want to pay out your 50% then that's on them. They moved in because it was convenient and suited them- there was no altruism.

TupperJen · 26/08/2023 02:57

It's hardly a jumper or piece of jewelry, it's the major asset of her estate... it needs to be split, whether sister buys your share (via mortgage or private financial arrangement)... executor should be on top of this. And if you are executors together, it's an awkward conversation, but one that needs to happen. They have been living there rent free (perhaps not paying utilities either), the free ride has come to an end.

SunRainStorm · 26/08/2023 04:32

If she wants to honour her mothers alleged wishes, then she should buy you out and live there.

Also just flagging that you're likely to be entitled to some rent from her if she stays there between probate and the sale of the property.

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