Siblings and inheritance

[ShawleyNot]

Posting for advice/opinions/ anything really. My dad passed away many years ago and everything went to mum. My sister (plus her husband and two children) moved back to the family home during lockdown - was supposed to be temporary but became permanent. They moved for financial reasons at the time but since found jobs and are earning money... and just stayed, it worked for them so no one questioned it.
My mum passed away earlier this week and the Will says that everything is split between me and my sister. There's not a lot apart from the house, but she is insisting that mum wanted her to have it and live in it and we can't sell it.
What rights do I have? On one hand id feel completely awful to kick her out, on the other hand she can afford to rent or her half if we sold it would pay for a sizeable deposit, but she's insisting she needs to stay.
I don't "need" the money but we're not particularly well off.

It's likely your DM did like having her DGC living there and they still can if their parents buy you out. The thing is your DSis isn't saying let me buy your share, she's saying give me your share.

Well she cannot just say she’s keeping it, that’s ridiculous. If your mum wanted that or had any wishes she would have spoken to you. I’d let her know that she needs to buy you out or it’s sold and she rents elsewhere. You’d absolutely be able to enforce the will legally, hopefully doesn’t come to that. She’s being unreasonable, yes she’s grieving, you both are and it doesn’t matter what the circumstances are for each sibling, you’re both entitled to half each

She’s being very selfish to act like she should just have the family home and leave you with nothing. Don’t let her make you think that you are the one being selfish here.

Do you happen to know if your sister could afford a mortgage on her half of the house value? (I'm assuming your mum owned it outright).

Many years ago my ex said he would gift his eventual share of inheritance (a sizeable amount, 300-400k to his older brother who was the only sibling to not own his own home. Then he had his own children and although the doesn’t ‘need’ the money it will go to his own children to give them a leg up in buying their own homes in the South East which isn’t easy. His older brother could have bought if he didn’t have 5 children and chosen to pay for a particular type of schooling. It should always be split fairly amongst siblings and to even suggest to you that she keeps it shows what a CF she is and it would affect my ongoing relationship with her for sure. It’s a shame as inheritance often causes family rows

OP it's either sell and split or they buy you out. That's it.

Get it valued.

So sorry for your loss.

Do you know if they were paying your mum a fair market rent for staying there? If so could they keep doing that? If not, well, she’s a cheeky mare.

How much did they pay towards house expenses while living at your mum's?

We have been in a sort of similar situation. Bil was living in FiL's house when he died. He's still there 18 months later. The house is being sold but there is huge resentment about it all. As a po said he has benefited from not paying bills for years.

I am so sorry for you loss.

I hope your sister reaction is just grief and shock and she will take a more reasonable position in the next few weeks.

your mum left clear written instructions - she wouldn’t want you to sacrifice your inheritance to subsidise your sister and brother in law.

I know this is such an awful time and I am sorry this issue has bubbled up

I'm with you there, @Dropthedonkey, this needs to wait until after the funeral, I think. Then, when things have calmed down a bit, you'll both be able to look at this a more calmly.

Sorry for your loss, OP, and I'm sure you don't need this on top of your grief. But there are some things that might be relevant, eg:

Who is the executor of the will? If there's a solicitor appointed to do it, it will be up to them to explain to your sister that, in the absence of any other will made after this one, what's specified in this one must be followed. If no executor has been appointed, it might be best to appoint one.

Will the value of your DM's estate be above the threshold for inheritance tax (£325k, although if the house was jointly owned with a spouse, it can be up t to double that)? If it is, the house may need to be sold to pay the IHT.

Who has the actual will?

Hopefully, in a little while you'll be able to have a calm discussion with your sister about whether she gets a mortgage to buy out your share and keep the house, or if it has to be sold and the money shared between you.

This is the last thing you need when you're recently bereaved, and I hope that it's resolved with the minimum of hassle.

You are a hiding to nothing no matter how you deal with this.
i would say though you both, I assume, thought that your mum would split everything 50:50. You had no reason to think otherwise and the important bit is that your mum had every opportunity to tell you that she wanted to your sister to stay. But she didn’t. Your sister has told you that.

so my reading of that is that your mum wanted you to have your half and I am sure as much as she would love your sis yet to stay in the house, she also would want you to have your half. If you deny yourself your half then you are going Against your mum’s wishes. Think how your mum would feel about that

this is a dreadfully awful time and wishing all the love to get through but ultimately if she won’t buy you out (renting her side is only going to make it messy) then you have to sell the property, take your half and have a clean break. Long term that is the best solution.

There will also have been a value to the mum having her daughter living with her, in terms of company and support: we can't assume this wasn't something that the mother benefitted from.

OP it's either sell and split or they buy you out. That's it.

^ This.

Just bear in mind that even if your sister agrees she might try to pull a fast one. In a vaguely similar situation, after agreeing a house inheritance deal my brother decided he'd pay 60% of the actual buy-out amount. No, I said, it'll be done according to the average of 3 estate agents' valuations. He then declared these as incorrect and wanted to pay maybe 80% of the buy-out amount. No, I said, we'll stick with the valuation or the house will be sold. Once we were on the verge of getting things formally agreed, he made a last minute bid to knock of £10000. Just to get the pain-in-the-arse situation resolved, I said he could have £2500 off as a take it or leave it, and finally got binding legal agreement and was able to sort out the money.

Think about your future.

Even if you don't need the funds rights now, they would certainly improve your quality of life. You could also boost your pension significantly or invest, leaving a nest egg for your future.

If your sister wants to remain in the property, she needs to get a mortgage for half of it and pay you what you are entitled to.

I'm sure your mum would have wanted your sister to stay but also for you to have your half.

In which case I would give your sister the opportunity to take out a mortgage to buy you out of your half. Is this feasible?

If she cannot afford to buy you out then it will have to be sold.

Your mum had ample opportunity to change the will if she wanted your sister to stay in the house.

Your sister has wasted no time at all has she? Already mentioned this to you when your mum has only just died this week.

Unless your sister can afford to buy you out the most straightforward solution is to sell and split the proceeds of sale. Then you go your separate ways.

It will undoubtedly cause a massive fallout so be prepared and stay calm

So sorry for your loss, it's so hard losing a parent. I'm in a similar situation to you having lost Mum in May and issues about her house causing untold stress and rifts. The family has been ripped apart.

💐

This. If they are both working then they can easily get a mortgage to buy half of the house. They should get a decent mortgage rate became they will half as deposit. That money will then come to you. You need to get 3 estate agents in to value the house and use the mean figure. OP I know your sister is living there but you are entitled to half of the things in the house if you want them. Your sister needs to learn to share.

You should agree a fair rent and your sister pay you half of this pcm until you get your inheritance.

Op I’m so sorry about your mum.

I just want you to know that it is possible for beneficiaries of a Will to enter into what is called a deed of agreement to vary how assets of a will are distributed. If your sister seeks legal advice she will probably be told this.
This often happens where a child is left out of the will and the other siblings want to make it fair and give that child part of the assets. And it only happens when all the beneficiaries agree

I do not think you should do this. You clearly had a good relationship with your mum and although she may have wished your sister to stay in the house, I do not believe that she would want this at your expense. I’d tell your sister that you want to follow the provisions of the Will but are happy for her to buy your share of the house. Your sister is probably highly emotional right now as she is worried about losing the home she lives in. Hopefully she calms down and realises how unfair she is being

It’s awful you’re dealing with this as well as the loss of your mum, which is horrible on its own.
We’ve been through similar. It’s awful but a lawyer sorted it out. We are now NC with sibling as they behaved so badly throughout. Death and money make people do some very strange things.

So in your sisters opinion your mum wanted her to have the house and you to get nothing. Because that is essentially what she’s saying. She can keep the house. But she needs to buy you out of your half. Absolute CF

I’m so very sorry for your loss.

Under U.K. law, anyone who makes a will has to appoint at least one executor to carry out the instructions and handling of the estate.

”An executor is legally responsible for carrying out the instructions in the person's will and handling their estate. Someone's 'estate' is everything they own – including their money, property and possessions.”

When you are ready, and if you are finding the thought of any confrontation with your sister unpleasant, refer her to the executor rather than get involved directly. The executor should have not emotional involvement in the process and just act according to your mother’s instructions, not what your sister considers fair or what she feels her personal entitlement is. Your sister has every right to contest the will, but unless she feels the will was signed under any duress or can prove your mother wasn’t in sound mind when she wrote it, she’s on pretty shaky ground. A 50/50 split would be viewed as very reasonable and very standard so it would be quite exceptional for a court to overrule in her favour based on what you’ve said.

Even better if your mother appointed a bank or solicitor as an executor as it makes the process even more business like, but even if she didn’t, the role is still as responsible and carries as much weight whether it’s an individual or an institution.

I had a similar situation with a step sister who challenged my mother’s will (her father’s second wife) The law made it quite clear that my parent’s will was very specific and she didn’t have a legal leg to stand on just because she felt the distribution was unfair. She received a very fair settlement but wanted much more, ‘not for her, but for her children’ despite me also having children!

I suggest you put this in legal OP. I'm not sure that the majority of responses are correct. As one PP points out there are Dependency arguments that can be made sometimes even if the Will does say 50/50.

This. She is basically stealing from you and expecting you to suck it up. It's not any action you take that is going to ruin your sibling relationship, it's her unreasonable behaviour in demanding you give your share of your mum's assets to her.